would others see this as weird creepy or offensive

[namedoesntmattter]

i started a group due to anxiety im a guy i get on with one of the other women we dont socialise just talk in group shes called claire today i called her claire bear just because it rymed one of the other women who run the group gave claire a look like i had said something unnaceptable and claire said she had no issues with it she often gets callled it but to me it seems like people take offence too easily specially over something that has nothing to do with them and the person who its said to had no issues with it does anybody else find it a strange thing to call somebody

if a person is abusive no exuse for that and it should be acted on rather than ignored espially when person on recieving end has said theyve felt unconfortable that was the other person at fault not me and it should have been acted on by the people who run the group when i raised concerns rather than be ignored

Oh God will you stop rambling and just take some responsibility for the fact you could have completely embarrassed Claire and made her feel uncomfortable with your unsolicited nick name 🙄

As a PP said, you had no idea how she might've taken it until you decided to say it.

You’re coming across a bit aggressive in your posts.

Lots of women say they’re ok with things that they’re not actually ok with, to try to keep things calm, especially with men. If you come across in the group how you are here, that could be the case.

It was over familiar. Accept that, change and move on.

of course it is woman make it an issue all the time about being made to feel unconfortable in certain siuations in public but when one is in charge of a group for anxiety they see one person being abused by another person who attends the group and decides not to act completly out of order and of course when i brought that up im the one with issues nothing to do with the other person at all

I’m just adding this because you seem as though you could do with a bit of support with social skills.

The way you have approached this is: You say what you want to, and leave it up to other people to tell you if that was okay or not.

You feel confused and defensive, because you are getting mixed messages back, although the person you said it to gave you a positive response.

The point though, is that you need to try and anticipate whether what you are going to say is likely to be appropriate, before saying it.

As pet names and nicknames are usually only for people you know really well (family and close friends you have known for years), most people would not have used it for Claire. So it was an unusual thing to say, even though she was gracious about it.

Think of this as a learning experience, no harm done.

if i embarrased claire she would have said so no one is rambling get over yourself

@namedoesntmattter could you just learn from this that you were over-familiar and someone else noticed.

I know Claire said she didn't mind but she may not have wanted to tell you that she did.

Make this a learning moment and stop arguing with everyone when you've asked for views.

Thinking about your thread title though.

No I wouldn't see you calling her Claire Bear as weird or creepy (just inappropriate as you had no idea she'd be ok with it in front of everyone).

But I think your replies on this thread are now making your come across as weird, creepy and quite aggressive.

lol here we go with the patrnosing not confused at all and dont talk to me ill leave before this gets out of hand

That just isn't true though, particularly in a group for people with anxiety.

Seeya!

if i want to disagree with views i will sorry if you dont agree with my responses but i stand by what ive said

Yep! I feel like he'll start ranting about females soon.

lc your not part of the group you dont know the person so dont tell me what is or isnt true see ya

Do you have something else wrong with you other than anxiety op?

You are coming across as aggressive. Other People are allowed to express their opinions. You don’t have to agree, but you do have to move on because these kind of situations are really, really common and there is rarely agreement. You are going to make yourself feel very stressed and the other people will feel intimidated by your anger.

Happy people who cope with life accept that these kind of misunderstandings happen every day of the week. You can carry on believing you were right if you like, but let it go now.

yup

What @MyRiverThee said, totally.

You can think what you like and behave how you like OP, but don’t be surprised when other people take offence and avoid you. Bye!

Of course it’s creepy

And you don't know this person well enough to know if she'd have the confidence to admit if you made her uncomfortable.

Most women spend their lives learning to manage and appease men to keep themselves safe even when there might not actually be a danger there.

Why did you ask here? What did you hope to get out of it?

She wasn't offended on Claire's behalf, she runs a group for people with anxiety, it's her job to keep her eyes out for people who might be putting others in positions that may exacerbate their anxiety.

So Claire wasn't bothered - that's great. She might have been bothered though, you just got lucky that she wasn't. If someone I didn't know called me a pet name I wouldn't be happy about it. The woman did the right thing checking in with Claire to make sure she's ok. It's literally her job.

The only person who sounds offended here is you - you've literally made a whole post because a woman made a face at something cringe that you said.

Logical or not, it's human behaviours not everyone has the same perspectives or responses.