What are your unpopular parenting opinion?

[michellet86]

There is no right answer to all t he parenting chive we make daily. I'm interested to hear everyone's opinions

Mine is that you don't need to rush your kid to A&E for anything unless it's life, limb or loss of eye sight. A&Es are already packed with kids who don't need to be there

Kids get hyper at parties because they are excited not because they have eaten too many sweets. Us 70s kids ate utter shite. Full English breakfasts, sweets. Puddings. Processed foods, smash potato powder, loads snd loads of red meat and fizzy pop. Very few fat kids around. The obesity today in children is mostly cars everywhere and no running around outside. Not blaming parents though different world/times

Children need guidance and discipline. Saying "no" to them is perfectly fine.

@KnitterNat I didn't agree with this either, until I had my kid. Now I'll happily pass them Miss Rachel on my phone to be able to brush my teeth 😂🙈

Why should their self-worth be dependent on your subjective views?

How to Talk So Kids will Listen is a good starting point if you want to learn how not to warp your childrens self esteem like this. Janet Lansbury also and Maria Montessori.

Mine is, if you think your kid needs medical attention, get it. Even if people think you're wasting the doctors time.

You are not your child’s best friend, you are there parent.

This!!!

That boredom and having to entertain yourself sometimes is good for children.
That you shouldn't always let children win
That you should not always make children share
That it's good for children to see a range of emotions from parents
That you shouldn't teach children that all non related adults are dangerous -- they should feel able to ask for help if they needed it and the police are not likely to be wandering the streets these days
That children should be taught the value of helping others
That children should recognize important occasions for others (So many on here disagree
Children don't need to choose meals at home, where we go on holiday, what we do on a regular basis
Children do not belong in expensive hotels/restaurants and shops. They change the atmosphere and my husband and I have saved a long time to go there and to afford a baby sitter.

Children should be taught how to behave on public transport. The amount of times I've seen kids climb onto seat and use grab rails at monkey bars...so dangerous.

Totally agree. I have 2 dc that are very clever and one who is average in some things, below in others and above in one.
I have told all of them for as long as I can remember that the very most important thing you can be is kind and I'm more proud if someone tells me they've noticed them be kind, than if they get amazing test scores.
-I may even have a painting with a cheesy ' kind is the best thing you can be' quote on it-

If you were meant to have offspring hanging off your nipple you would have 4 legs and say moo! 🐄

There’s a line between smacking and abuse.

Displaying blatant ableism isn't the same thing as "calling shit out". MNHQ obviously agreeing seeing as they deleted your ableist comments for breaking talk rules (probably for ableism).

How is it ableist to say that parents self diagnosing their badly behaved kids as ND because they can’t be arsed parenting them which is not fair on actual ND kids because it’s stereotyping them and making life more difficult for them because of this stigma.

You can’t be accused of being ableist when you’re literally sticking up for ND kids 🤔 but there’s always one trying to twist everything you say when it comes to certain topics.

Purposely not doing a birthday party unless it's financial or the kid declines it is really shitty.

Anywhere that isn't a library, isn't a library and you don't need to be silent.

You don't need any camping gear or items from Cotswold to visit a national trust property. The terrain simply isn't that challenging. No carabenas or zip off trousers of those f awful sport sandals are required.

Parents need to be parents and lead the way, rather than letting tyrant toddlers set the pace in everything and call the shots.

Too many parents are scared to say ‘no’ because they can’t face the short-term reaction, so live with little dictators who become bigger dictators, and can’t see they played any role in it happening.

Most things worth doing require some effort and sacrifice, and probably an element of conflict somewhere along the line, and don’t magically happen - that includes having children with manners, those who will eat a range of food when they go out, and who expect to do what adults tell them when they go to school.

Reading is so so important. To get good and fluent, parents need to do it close to 365 days a year and it needs to be as part of the routine as a nightly bath, and not seen as a chore to be done a couple of times a week in term-time. When it’s part of the daily routine and never negotiable, progress for most can be massive.

Routines are not the work of the devil. They might not suit everyone, but they do work for some people. Just as no-one should tell other parents they MUST use a routine, no-one should be telling others they definitely shouldn’t use a particular one either.

If you were meant to have offspring hanging off your nipple you would have 4 legs and say moo!

I think you may be confused about what nipples are for.

Lactating cats have 4 legs and have offspring hanging off their nipples but they don’t say moo.

Why would something that lactates be a cow?

@pastypirate LOL that that last one is obviously just something you needed to get off your chest 🤣

Attendance in primary school and most of secondary isn't important at all. You can still get into RG/Oxbridge with shitty attendance if you're bright and driven and have supportive family who can afford private tutors or a crammer college.

Shouting* should be seen as the new smacking and it should be seen as totally taboo / socially unacceptable
*mad ranting, not just an occasional raised voice to shout stop at a busy road / other emergency.

Breastfeeding is overrated and it breaks my heart reading the threads on here where women are struggling and driving themselves mad because of the Breast Is Best mantra that's shoved down everyone's throats (I was one of these women!!!).

I also think "bottle nursing" should be more widely advertised as an alternative to BF. I hate prop feeding, not facing away from the baby you're feeding, etc.

Picky eaters should be allowed to be picky.

You shouldn't be trying to force babies to sleep 12 hours and leaving them to cry, it's dam cruel. They will go to bed just fine in their own time and if they cry go into them. It completely defeats the object of having kids intentionally leaving a child distressed in the hope they learn that you won't respond. If you want an easy life don't have children.

Breastfeeding is better than bottle feeding, if you think bottle feeding is in anyway superior you are kidding yourself.

Children shouldn't be allowed screens in restaurants, they should learn how to behave. My kids are only little but can happily go out for a meal, interact and include them and they are just fine.

This. With bells on.
Also with DS and DD twins I can categorically state that boys like making noise and hitting things (inc DD) and girls like looking after things and pretending they are babies. It's a VERY unpopular opinion.

Having ridiculous rules for family and friends when baby is born I.e no holding the baby while wearing perfume, without washing hands, no passing the baby round , don’t bring your children, no visits for the first month are absolutely neurotic.

In laws should be treated the same as your family.

Babies dad shouldn’t have to ask your permission to be able to take baby out/visit relatives.

That when it comes to kids dictatorship works better than democracy.

All children are different and you just need to do the best to parent the ones you end up with. There's absolutely no point comparing yourself or in judging them.

That some kids need firm boundaries and strict parenting and some don't. Overly strict parenting almost always backfires. Choose your battles wisely.

It's good to talk to your children. Tell them if you're not sure about something or don't know if you've handled things in the best way. It's ok to apologise if you think you've got something wrong. It's also ok for kids to see parents work out disagreements about how to handle parenting/household situations.

Children should not be forced to eat food they don't like. Many picky eaters grow out of it if you don't make a fuss. Snacks, mostly healthy with the occasional bit of junk food, are fine.

If you can remain approachable and as non-judgmental as possible they are more likely to come to you in difficult situations and to listen to what you have to say when they do.

Girls should have the same freedoms and be guided by the same expectations as boys. Boys should have the same freedoms and be guided by the same expectations as girls.

Mum guilt is a choice, but on here the martyrdom is a badge of honour. Choose not to be guilty for going to work/sleeping/taking a break/going out.

Who says they have? not according to this very recent research- France has a worse alcoholism problem than the UK:
www.justcantsettle.com/2022/07/16/dangerous-drinking-chart-rates-germany-france-and-uk-as-europes-worst/

Your opinion isnt backed up by fact I'm afraid.