What are your unpopular parenting opinion?

[michellet86]

There is no right answer to all t he parenting chive we make daily. I'm interested to hear everyone's opinions

Mine is that you don't need to rush your kid to A&E for anything unless it's life, limb or loss of eye sight. A&Es are already packed with kids who don't need to be there

And yes, things have indeed changed - teen pregnancy rates have been dropping steadily across the country, even in states with the highest rates, for the last few decades, either because of less sex, more contraception, better sex ed, etc.

There's huge variation in the UK on these things too - Americans always bang on about variation like every other country is totally monolithic. Exactly the same issues, north south divide etc.

But you were the person who started the generalisations about how much better the US was for teens

You don't need to wish your 1/2/3/4/5/6 year old child Happy Birthday on Facebook.

1. They can't read.
2. They aren't on Facebook.

Kids can watch tv.all evening.sometimes all weekend.lying snuggled on the sofa all Saturday without so much as one planned activity. In their pjs!

They can snack.any time. On any foods.

Being a kid with puppy fat is normal.let it go and 9/ 10 that kid will spurt up,eat healthy,be how they should be. They do not need to ever be put on a diet,cut sugars,made to feel too big.
They can also have Ribena,cereal,milk,chocolate bars,and other mnet evil foods.

@kateandme i totally disagree with all your points! Kids shouldn’t be eating crap, not leaving the house, and having ‘puppy’ fat - this is why we have a country where over half of adults are overweight. It starts in childhood.

Or your dead Gran

”26 years since you left us Nan, you’d have been 106 today”

That babies and toddlers need some dirt to build their immune system up, so stop sterilising and anti baccing everything to death.
That parents aren't tough enough with their kids. No means no and now means now!

Agree with you Cathyandchris. Of course children need rest and downtime but this shouldn't be a lifestyle of habitual PJs and movies/ games as the norm each night, with unlimited access to any snacks. This sounds like a realistic obesity risk being dismissed as ' it will only be puppy fat. The UK's situation with child obesity is an alarming one which shouldn't be ignored.

The alarming risk is eating disorder rise.and the now acceptable disordered views on food and bodies.and actually kids health started nose diving when the diet industry boomed.when we started putting food onto moral high ground.whem we used good and bad food terms.when we started hatingon certain bodies.
That actually when kids were allowed all foods and to listen to their bodies.to have pj days but also did go out and play all days too.when they had access to snack and weren't restricted,shamed or focussed on foods.they aren't policed or judged like today. they were actually healthier.happier.
So no not on the couch all the time.it correlated with being out and playing games and bring active on other days too.
Having family meals.
Balance.
But never as disordered as we are as a society now on food and fitness.and get quel surprise more unhappy,unhealthy children and adults alike.

I agree with you.

One of my DC sees a dietician and their overriding principle in all of DCs sessions is that food is just food. There are no good foods, no bad foods, food is never used as a reward or a punishment. Its just food.

Everything in moderation is fair healthier than hard restrictions or free for all.

My DC aren't limited on what/when they eat, obviously within reason and if I'm standing cooking tea I don't expect them to be having snacks. They're not obsessed with particular foods because they know they aren't restricted and, IME, children who are heavily restricted in what they eat or who are told that certain foods are bad/naughty/special tend to go crackers when they are allowed access to those foods.

I believe that one parent should stay at home.

I don't know if the first one is a parenting opinion but it's an opinion from a parent so I hope it still counts as I feel quite strongly about it:

1. Kids in the UK start school way too early and spend way too much time at school.

(When I was a child and where I grew up we started school aged 6/7 and till year 11 (6th form??) school was from 8am to 1pm. Not sure how it would work now with mostly both parents working but from a child's point of view I think that's much better).

1. Young (primary aged)kids should not have too many structured activities and shouldn't have to rush around every day.

1. Kids should be treated with respect at any age. That doesn't mean you don't set boundaries or are lax on discipline but to talk to them politely, take their feelings, desires and opinions into account (when possible and appropriate) and you apologise to them when you got things wrong.

1. Peppa pig is great entertainment, wholesome and fun for parents as well (compared to the other shit they watch)

1. Kids under the age of 2 are not missing out or having a horrible childhood if they don't know about candy or chocolate yet.

1. Girls don't need to always be dressed in pink and wear tights and dresses in all weathers. Similarly, it's ok for boys to wear pink, stuff with hearts or flowers, whatever else they want as long as it's comfortable and weather appropriate.

1. Christmas can be wonderful and magical even if your child doesn't believe in Santa.

1. There's nothing wrong in teaching your kids to be kind (yes, even girls) as long as you also teach them to stand up.for.themselves.and.to.take.their own wishes into consideration as well. I tell my kids to be "good" and that means both to themselves and to others.

1. Competition is not good and healthy for kids in a school environment. We should strive to teach kids to do things out of intrinsic motivation and not just to get one up on somebody else. I don't think it's even required in the adult world. Nothing wrong with playing games competitively but not everything needs to be a competition.

Couldn't agree with this more. However competition has become so ingrained in everything many people can't even envisage there might be different ways of going about things.

People always used to tell me, it doesn’t get easier when it comes to kids. But from my experience, it has - at least so far. I have a five-year-old, and each year has been easier than the last. The baby and toddler stages were by far the hardest.

Young children don’t actually need socialising with other kids until they’re at least three. Nurseries are mainly for parents’ convenience rather than a necessity for the children’s development.

We infantilise our teens - don't allow them to take responsibility, feel consequences, they don't mature and then we continue to enable them to remain childlike by encouraging them to stay at home throughout their 20s.

You cannot reason a toddler out of a tantrum.
Think about how receptive to reason/argument we are when angry/frustrated/upset. We are not receptive.
So stop trying to get them to 'use their words' to describe how they are feeling. I'm constantly surprised more toddlers don't punch parents on the nose when they attempt this!

And not everything needs to be an exam or a certificate - kids ask what's the point in learning about X or Y - they've not been encouraged to follow their interests, many don't even know what their interests are - education has become a straight jacket - it suffocates the desire to learn.

I have two of each and this has been my experience. I often think to myself I can't be too bad because both DS's seem to like me!

I am very much of the opinion that children shouldn’t be forced into anything (except medical treatment). I’d pull my child out of school (and have done) if unhappy. Why should they be forced into a situation that makes them unhappy? So many unhappy kids in school.
I don’t say no, much at all. I don’t punish, ever.

I tell you once. I tell you twice. The third time, you'll have a smack. Not a beating - a smack on a clothed bottom. And it's the child's decision to push me to that point...Boy. have I been pillloried for that!