I've not even been engaged 48 hours........

[Pojji]

And people are already creating drama.

Sat and had a cry earlier because I was so happy the dp finally proposed. Now it's become a political minefield keeping everyone happy. One person getting annoyed at another for buying me a planning book. Another getting annoyed that I'm going to try on dresses with a friend......it was more to give me a kick up the ass to lose a significant amount of weight (which is long overdue)
I have no intention of buying a dress, nor do I have the funds to do so!

I just don't want the whole planning process to be people bickering. I'm not interested.
I said to dp that if this continues then we will take the kids and elope. I hate arguing.

I love my family very much. I want them at my wedding but actually what I really want is to just marry the man I love. That's all thst matters. I'd love a pretty dress because I never look pretty. I'd love a big party. But none of that actually matters.

I know thst there's going to be arguments over the bridesmaid choices, the dresses, the hen do 😫

I wish we hadn't told anyone our news and kept it to myself. It's completely burst my bubble.

Just do what YOU both want and keep it to yourselves. TELL people what’s going to happen. We arranged our wedding in 6 weeks. I designed and made the invitations, no stag or hen, customised charity shop dress, a bouquet, a few buttonholes and table arrangement were the only flowers, did my own hair and make-up, driven to registry office ceremony in a decorated white hansom cab, one MOH, self-catered canapé and champagne reception on a boat, lunch at restaurant for close family and friends only, ordinary taxi back, self-catered party at home in the evening, no cake or speeches or first dance. Everyone loved it.

its yur day (you and dp) dot let anyone get involved and if it is getting to much elope

I second this, best thing we did

Congratulations.

The reactions you have received are a good reason why I have admired those whose wedding has been the couple and two witnesses only, especially for people of no religious beliefs.

Congratulations !

now toddle off abroad and piss every one off by getting married in secret.

In a prior relationship - we got engaged on an Italian Island, speedboats, beautifull ring, meals, locations. It was something out of a romance novel.

Went home - had a celebratory chinese with the family - and the bubble was burst immediately. Sisters arguing over who was bridesmaids, telling the bridge what was going to happen, father moaning that we were considering doing it abroad, not that we actually said that, just that we had got engaged and were considering all options. Ruined it for us. If you ask me, after that meal, neither of us wanted to marry - and it was all downhill from there.

Decided after that, i don’t like people and weddings. So now avoid both.

Do what’s right for you and sod everyone else.
it’s your day and hopefully something you will only do once so enjoy. Don’t try to please others - it doesn’t work

Yes, do this. It's only going to get worse. Planning books and dress shopping ffs.

Yep, we did this, just had our parents and our children there. Took a couple of hours and then it was done.

Aw sorry OP! Going to DM you!

Elope.

This is all bollox

We got married in the Registry Office with 2 witnesses and had a pub lunch afterwards. We are every bit as married as people who spend 1000s on a fancy venue, food, drink and all the extras. I highly recommend it!

Elope and tell them all to f-off. That's what we did. Best decision we ever made.

Don't share so much information, enjoy your engagement and your plans. Do what you want to do, not what the family want. If I could go back in time I would not wait and have the suitably long engagement and wedding for my extended family and would move in with partner and start our life together sooner. Now married for 37 years and who cares what anyone else thinks? You only get one life, enjoy it!

Congratulations and sorry you are going through this.

DH came with me to buy the dress, we went together to decide on ring designs, DH did the invitations and between us organised flowers, venue and a lovely menu for 15. No bridesmaids, no best man, no being given away. We drove there together and walked in together. No one had to do anything and there was no grief.

Just tell people when it's all organised and don't let people suck the joy out of your happy day.

It bugs me that people who turn around and say "it's my wedding and my decision" are now heckled as Bridezillas. My Mum used to do pre-wedding counselling and would always remind couples that it was their day and no one else's. It will upset some if you invite A over B, or don't have C as a bridesmaid. I was fortunate that my Mum also acted as Wedding Planner so everything went through her. It meant she dealt with most of the aggro. I had twenty guests for my main reception and then an invite everyone BYOD one in the evening. Oddly people weren't offended at not being included on the very small reception list - the bigger the list, the more people who get offended about not making the cut! My Mum saw people who were worried about offending their Mum's dog walker by not inviting them. Be sensible, work out what you want and stick to it. Although you don't need doves...

Not unreasonable but, that's life. Friends of mine were so fed up with interference that they got the family together and told them they were married. They arranged there marriage elsewhere, booked a few days away and job done.

We didn’t want wedding drama, so told everyone the date and that we were having a ‘surprise’ wedding (didn’t word it that way, but you get the idea) with accommodation provided. It was a polite way of keeping them all at bay. Then we booked a big Airbnb house that slept 25 people for the weekend, and had the wedding meal there, with outside caterers coming in to cook and serve it. Earlier that day we all went to the local registry office and exchanged vows, with informal drinks at the pub. We rode a steam train there… but that part’s not integral to the concept!

The entire wedding, including a long weekend’s accommodation for 25 people cost us less than £3k.

Also instead of paying for their stay somewhere, we asked each guest to contribute by ‘bringing one thing’ (alcohol, cake, food etc) and ‘doing one thing’ (mixing drinks, cooking breakfast etc). I think because everyone had their own little job, they focused on that rather than fussing over crap I’d rather they stayed out of. And for someone who wasn’t actually particularly bothered about getting married (we’d been together for aged already), it was absolutely the best weekend of my life!

I’d just elope to be honest, the people in your life sound like nightmares

Meg? Is that you?

Sorry OP - good luck and enjoy :)

This is what we did. We both have large, disjointed and variable drama ridden families. We got married in a register office with one witness and 2 parents each then went for lunch and cake with SIL and BIL who had been babysitting our toddlers.

It's about the marriage, not the expensive experience which appears to be way more stressful than it could possibly be worth.

That’s not very nice, is it?

Elope, OP. Best thing I ever did. And everyone gets over it! Congratulations on your engagement.

Jinx!

I am in touch or speak to less than half of the people I chose to come to my wedding (we each had 30 spaces) -major family upsetting event long after the wedding, I could have saved even more money
,you wont know half of them 30 years from now, have a registrar and go on a good holiday