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Original poster

Please help - Scared for my daughter

512 replies

Bepis · 31/12/2022 04:33

My daughter is 18 years old but she has special needs so is a lot younger in her mind. She has suffered with anxiety for the past 5 years or so, to the point where it stopped her attending school and she had to be under CAMHS. Her anxiety was mainly around people she didn't know and new situations.

The past couple of weeks have become so difficult and I just don't know what to do or where to turn.

I noticed her hearing things and she would say to me that her stepbrother swore, or I swore etc when that never happened. That went on for a while but now she is panicking if her sister is on the phone. Her sister will talk to her boyfriend in the evening in her room (they have separate rooms) but my eldest daughter is just flat out panicking about it and refuses to go upstairs. When I finally get her into her bedroom, she will not get in bed but just sits on her bed until 7/8 in the morning.

I tried laying with her this morning so she would get some sleep and she managed an hour or 2.

She's also started putting her fingers in her ears whenever someone talks. Not in a rude way but it's become a reaction. This is within the last couple of days.

She says she can hear her sister talking on the phone at 5/6/7 in the morning despite her sister being fast asleep.

She is also zoned out (I can't think of a better way to describe it). Like when I talk, it's like she doesn't understand me. She's also started whispering instead of using her real voice and is even starting to become non-verbal.

I'm so scared, I don't know what's wrong with her and I don't understand.

I took her to the doctors today and they prescribed Sertraline. She had her first tablet tonight. This seems like more than just anxiety though.

Has anyone else experienced this? Im scared and in tears.

OP posts:
SugarplumFairyyy · 31/12/2022 04:38

Bless her heart. I can't say for sure but it sounds a little like when I had a psychotic episode. It was Brough on by stress, depression, anxiety and lack of sleep. I was under a lot of pressure at uni with exams, ruminating and not sleep. Funnily I was 18yrs old too. Apparently that age is quite common to have more.mentak health issues as well (its to do with brain chemistry and changes).

Just to say, serialine is a good drug. I'm also on it. Keep an eye on her and take her back to the GP of you are worried about anything else.

The lack of sleep will not be helping. I couldn't sleep more than an hour during my breakdown. The worst of it for me was a week.

I will be honest- brisk exercise (as minor as it sounds) massively helped balanced anxiety and help me sleep better. That's was helped me at the time.

SugarplumFairyyy · 31/12/2022 04:39

Sorry my grammar is all over the place!

Original poster
Bepis · 31/12/2022 04:40

@SugarplumFairyyy Thank you so much for replying, your post actually brought me to tears. I am so sorry you also went through this.

Should I force her to sleep or just leave her be? Should I stay with her?

Do I need to take her to hospital or anything?

I feel so lost, I'm sorry

OP posts:
SugarplumFairyyy · 31/12/2022 04:42

I personally don't have special needs (just to add) but I was catatonic and non verbal at times during my breakdown. I was unable to keep track of time and what was actually 4 hours would feel like 4 mins. It can look very worrying for onlookers but that state won't be permanent.

Does the GP suggest a psychiatrist at this point? I eventually had to go private to see a psychiatrist quite quickly just to oversee me and give me the right medication.

I hope everything goes.ok for your daughter.

Original poster
Bepis · 31/12/2022 04:44

SugarplumFairyyy · 31/12/2022 04:42

I personally don't have special needs (just to add) but I was catatonic and non verbal at times during my breakdown. I was unable to keep track of time and what was actually 4 hours would feel like 4 mins. It can look very worrying for onlookers but that state won't be permanent.

Does the GP suggest a psychiatrist at this point? I eventually had to go private to see a psychiatrist quite quickly just to oversee me and give me the right medication.

I hope everything goes.ok for your daughter.

The GP just mentioned those self referral therapies but they wouldn't be any good for my daughter with how she is cognitively.

She's started on 25mg of Sertraline tonight and I have to raise it to 50mg after a week.

I just can't get through to her with anything

OP posts:
SugarplumFairyyy · 31/12/2022 04:45

Bepis · 31/12/2022 04:40

@SugarplumFairyyy Thank you so much for replying, your post actually brought me to tears. I am so sorry you also went through this.

Should I force her to sleep or just leave her be? Should I stay with her?

Do I need to take her to hospital or anything?

I feel so lost, I'm sorry

As silly as this sounds, try not to show your panic. I wouldn't force her to sleep or anything just lay with her as she will need you
I became like a child. Soothe her in whatever way helps. If something helps to ground her then use grounding tools. For example, if she has a favourite TV show or object she likes to hold, it can be anything just that makes her feel safe in the moment. Remind her you are there and she is safe and this will pass. I promise you it will pass x

Original poster
Bepis · 31/12/2022 04:47

@SugarplumFairyyy Thank you so much. I feel so helpless and it's so scary even for me. I have never dealt with anything like this before. Will it definitely pass? How long will it last?

OP posts:
SugarplumFairyyy · 31/12/2022 04:47

Bepis · 31/12/2022 04:44

The GP just mentioned those self referral therapies but they wouldn't be any good for my daughter with how she is cognitively.

She's started on 25mg of Sertraline tonight and I have to raise it to 50mg after a week.

I just can't get through to her with anything

Show quote history

It will take time for the medication to kick in. I would keep in touch with the GP as well in the meantime. Do you also have other support around you at home within your family? Any support right now will also help you to keep calm x

Original poster
Bepis · 31/12/2022 04:47

Will not sleeping harm her in any way?

OP posts:
SugarplumFairyyy · 31/12/2022 04:49

Bepis · 31/12/2022 04:47

@SugarplumFairyyy Thank you so much. I feel so helpless and it's so scary even for me. I have never dealt with anything like this before. Will it definitely pass? How long will it last?

She won't be in this state all the time, it will calm down. You also need to reassure yourself because she will be relying on your strength right now more than her own. You sound like a wonderful, caring mother and she will be in the best hands with you

SugarplumFairyyy · 31/12/2022 04:53

Bepis · 31/12/2022 04:47

Will not sleeping harm her in any way?

No it's just making her anxiety go up that's all. It wont harm her. Her body will compensate for it and she will sleep when she absolutely needs to. I honestly didn't sleep properly for a week or so. My mum would take me for drives all the time as that use to calm me.
I would call the GP again though.
Monitor her and write everything down that you want to say to them that you are concerned about.
I think you might be able to Google crisis helplines if it gets bad or ring 111 for out of hours help if you need more support x

SugarplumFairyyy · 31/12/2022 05:00

If you Google search 'mental health services NHS' there are phone lines and support on there as well as resources that might be helpful to you if you feel you have limited support.

Original poster
Bepis · 31/12/2022 05:00

@SugarplumFairyyy Your advice has totally turned me around in how I am dealing with her, I can't thank you enough. I was being really snappy with her as I just genuinely did not understand what was happening.

She has dealt with massive stress lately, all in a short space of time.

I just gave her a hug and said sorry to her for being snappy. I told her that she will get better. I also told her that if she needs to read or watch something on her phone then that's absolutely fine.

I have a number for a 24 hour mental health crisis team which I might phone for advice later.

Thank you for your lovely words.

OP posts:
SugarplumFairyyy · 31/12/2022 05:02

Bepis · 31/12/2022 05:00

@SugarplumFairyyy Your advice has totally turned me around in how I am dealing with her, I can't thank you enough. I was being really snappy with her as I just genuinely did not understand what was happening.

She has dealt with massive stress lately, all in a short space of time.

I just gave her a hug and said sorry to her for being snappy. I told her that she will get better. I also told her that if she needs to read or watch something on her phone then that's absolutely fine.

I have a number for a 24 hour mental health crisis team which I might phone for advice later.

Thank you for your lovely words.

Aww bless you, I'm so glad you feel better. If we can't help each other in this world through tough times then what's it all about.
Xx

Original poster
Bepis · 31/12/2022 05:05

@SugarplumFairyyy That is so true. From your experience, will Sertraline be ok with what she is experiencing or does she need anti-psychotic type medication? You mentioned that you had to see a private psychiatrist for the right medications, was that the Sertraline?

OP posts:
SugarplumFairyyy · 31/12/2022 05:10

Sertraline is good for a anxiety and depression. She might need something else but I wouldn't want to give the wrong information.
I recovered without antipsychotics because my episode was brought on by extreme stress and lack of sleep.
They would need to assess her (at least GP) if you can list her symptoms to them and go through it with them then they can let you know of she will need antiosychotics.
I'm not sure if the GP would prescribe them but most often it's a psychiatrist I think.
Hope that helps

Original poster
Bepis · 31/12/2022 05:16

SugarplumFairyyy · 31/12/2022 05:10

Sertraline is good for a anxiety and depression. She might need something else but I wouldn't want to give the wrong information.
I recovered without antipsychotics because my episode was brought on by extreme stress and lack of sleep.
They would need to assess her (at least GP) if you can list her symptoms to them and go through it with them then they can let you know of she will need antiosychotics.
I'm not sure if the GP would prescribe them but most often it's a psychiatrist I think.
Hope that helps

Thank you. I will call the mental health team later today and see what they say. The Sertraline may help ease the stress that she's had to go through.

In the past 2 weeks she has gone through visiting her dad where he practically forced her to meet his new girlfriend 2 nights in a row. She really struggles with people and she was given no space she could go to, like a separate room. Then her dad locked her sister in his flat which will have triggered past memories for her of her dad being violent to me.

Then we have had youngsters kicking our front door and running off which traumatised her. Sent her into a meltdown sort of thing. Second time they kicked the door, she had a panic attack again but the third time; it's like she was zoned out and didn't react which was unusual for her.

I think she's been pushed over the edge.

OP posts:
SugarplumFairyyy · 31/12/2022 05:33

Bless her, she's been through a lot and seeing as she has more needs, it will be affecting her much more. It does sound awful what she's been through and the zoning out is probably her body not being able to cope with that much overstimulatuon- it's kind of giving her a break. It can look worrying but most likely she just feels a bit detached..its a form of something called dissociation, where you mind and body protect you from too much anxiety and you detach and go a bit numb.
It's just a state and it will go back to normal when her stress levels decrease.
Are you able to keep her away from her dad for a while until she's much better? It doesn't sound like he's sensitive to her needs and I think she will need you with her to support her.

kiwiiem · 31/12/2022 05:46

Just echoing what PP have said, it sounds very similar to when I’ve had psychotic episodes in the past. Least of all, the sister phone conversations thing. The last severe episode I had I was phoning my Mam from hospital (I was hospitalised for general health not my episode) to tell her she had to throw all the burgers away because I saw spiders in them. We didn’t even have burgers, much less spiders.

Would sleeping tablets be an option, short term? Might be worth asking your GP about.

My other advice is ALWAYS offer for her to be included in things. Let her know there’s no pressure, and give her space when she needs it (while still keeping an eye on her) but try to offer her to join anything you’re doing. Even if it’s just asking if she wants to bake a cake or help make a meal whenever you’re both in the kitchen at the same time etc. and have casual chit chat throughout. But little things like that can make you feel very supported and ‘normal’.

Casual chit chat is honestly a life saver. Carrying on as if nothing is wrong, within reason, is a life saver in my opinion. Obviously things will be slightly different but she already knows you’re there for her as you’ve expressed it verbally and through your actions. It will comfort her to see you treating her as if she isn’t ‘crazy’ and will be helpful for her to see with her own eyes that not everything has changed even though there’s a lot changing in her head right now.

You’re doing a great job, please cut yourself some slack, it’s a situation anyone would struggle with, least of all when additional needs come into play.

Original poster
Bepis · 31/12/2022 21:44

I will respond to your kind messages shortly but can I just ask, is it also normal for everything to be in slow motion? For example, I ordered her a pizza for tea and she's sat with the box for half an hour on her lap until she finally opened it. Then another 10 minutes to actually take a bite out of a slice.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bepis · 31/12/2022 21:49

Also she's barely eating now.

OP posts:
HangerLaneGyratorySystem · 31/12/2022 21:50

her dad locked her sister in his flat? People kicked your door in? What’s happening OP? How can you take care of her?

Hairyfairy01 · 31/12/2022 21:54

Have you rang the 24 hour mental health helpline OP? I think that would be my first call. Has she made any suggestions that she may harm herself or others?

Swimswam · 31/12/2022 21:54

I would be pushing hard for a referral to a psychologist and psychiatrist- a psychologist can provide talking therapy and the psychiatrist medication. Gp is all very well but an expert doctor is better.
i hope you daughter gets better soon.

Original poster
Bepis · 31/12/2022 21:56

HangerLaneGyratorySystem · 31/12/2022 21:50

her dad locked her sister in his flat? People kicked your door in? What’s happening OP? How can you take care of her?

They kicked it and ran off, no damage done but this happened 3/4 times. Traumatised my daughter. Thankfully that is all sorted now though.

Yes her dad is abusive which is why I divorced him, he did similar to me when I was pregnant.

OP posts: