Please help - Scared for my daughter

[Bepis]

My daughter is 18 years old but she has special needs so is a lot younger in her mind. She has suffered with anxiety for the past 5 years or so, to the point where it stopped her attending school and she had to be under CAMHS. Her anxiety was mainly around people she didn't know and new situations.

The past couple of weeks have become so difficult and I just don't know what to do or where to turn.

I noticed her hearing things and she would say to me that her stepbrother swore, or I swore etc when that never happened. That went on for a while but now she is panicking if her sister is on the phone. Her sister will talk to her boyfriend in the evening in her room (they have separate rooms) but my eldest daughter is just flat out panicking about it and refuses to go upstairs. When I finally get her into her bedroom, she will not get in bed but just sits on her bed until 7/8 in the morning.

I tried laying with her this morning so she would get some sleep and she managed an hour or 2.

She's also started putting her fingers in her ears whenever someone talks. Not in a rude way but it's become a reaction. This is within the last couple of days.

She says she can hear her sister talking on the phone at 5/6/7 in the morning despite her sister being fast asleep.

She is also zoned out (I can't think of a better way to describe it). Like when I talk, it's like she doesn't understand me. She's also started whispering instead of using her real voice and is even starting to become non-verbal.

I'm so scared, I don't know what's wrong with her and I don't understand.

I took her to the doctors today and they prescribed Sertraline. She had her first tablet tonight. This seems like more than just anxiety though.

Has anyone else experienced this? Im scared and in tears.

That meant to say she's wetting herself

Thinking of you both

Oh op. I'm so sorry for you both.
Tell them everything.write it down if you need to.wverything she's been and done tell them.do not leave without action being taken.
Can you be practical now. Get her and you some comfy clothes,pjs,a book.mobile and charger.clean underwear.watwr and snacks.dpes she have a teddy.
We are all here for you.
Biiiig big supportive hugs.

I hope a&e gets her the help she needs. You must be exhausted as well.

Thank you so much everyone, your messages are making me tearful (in a good way). I'm sorry I haven't been able to respond to people directly yet; I just barely have time to breathe.

So the ambulance came out, only took them around 20 minutes to get here. I was expecting hours. Paramedics were great and lovely but they said because she is not communicating, it would be impossible for A&E to assess her. I asked about her being admitted on psychiatric ward but they said she is not at 'crisis' point where they would override her wishes for her own well-being. Basically not serious enough for admission.

They checked her blood pressure which was high but they checked it again later and it had come down so was probably due to the anxiety. Her pulse was 106 ish but again fairly ok considering her anxiety. They also think she may have a urine infection as her temp is up a couple of degrees. They said to contact the GP first thing for antibiotics.

Paramedic asked if she had been referred to the mental health team and I told them she hadn't. She didn't think the GP was being helpful.

I spoke to the mental health nurse from the GP yesterday who has been prescribed an antihistamine that is also used for insomnia. It's got a sedative effect so I'm picking that up today.

She seems a little calmer now she's been checked over and she's actually got in bed next to me. Earlier she was just sat on the landing behind the bannister wall thing and wouldn't move.

Paramedic also said that people can have a mental health 'dip' about a week after starting Sertraline and she's confident she may start to feel better soon.

Please don't worry about responding individually. Respond if it's helping you to get it out. It might be useful to be able to refer back to as well with details and a timeline of events if you need to give these to any professionals. I'm glad she's calmed a little and I hope the paramedic is right and that it's a dip before an improvement but please do not hesitate to call them again in the same circumstances.

Gosh Bepis!

On the bright side, being with you is the best thing for her, if she's not threatening herself or anyone else. Being admitted or detained can be very scary.

remember to look after you as well!

@Bepis First you seem to be the most wonderful caring, dignified, un-entitled, and loving mother. There are probably other positive adjectives. From what I see here, I would entrust my own DC to your care.

To keep this up, though, you MUST look after yourself. When things are calmer, make touch with carer organisations. Many MHTs and local authorities run the them, relevant charities too. Please, ultimately, you are doing this for your family.

Finally, a practical tip I got from my NCT class: if you want something done, for your or somebody you care for, and a GP or doctor refuses you, ask for the fact you requested it to be noted on your/their file. I know several people who got different care after they did that. And I'm not talking about entitled trouble-makers, but people like you who KNOW in your heart it is right, validated by MH professionals on here.

And final-finally, you can ask to see a different GP. You know that, but don't feel inhibited by loyalty. A GP might be brilliant with general family care, maybe has a specialism, but be out of depth with MH.

Apologies if any of this is patronising. I cannot know all you know, so just hang out these thoughts to drift in the breeze.

I am thinking of you and DC.

I do think some melatonin would help, we have the 2mg brand name circadin. Its very gentle but it worked for my DD when she had spiralled into no sleep.

You can use it as and when, and stop when she is felling better it's doesn't have to be constant.

It feels like you are just being passed around and unless she is self harming they aren't able to help.

We went private in the end and put it on credit card. It was extremely helpful for me as well as i didn't feel so terrified and alone.

I'm sorry you and DD don't seem to be able to get any support. Hopefully the setraline will help soon though.

Young minds is a helpful website too and they have a text support service.

I have a little time to be able to reply to people.

@Nephthys21 She isn't known to LD social care since becoming an adult. She was under LD CAMHS as a child but got discharged in 2020.

@Spaghetti201 This is something I thought about too regards if she had eaten or taken something she shouldn't. She has 24/7 supervision now due to how bad she is. I also keep her medication hidden from her and make sure she takes it in front of me.

@kateandme Thank you for your post and your kind words. I can't express how appreciative I am. I don't feel like I am any good at looking after her as I do get a little snappy at times when I'm exhausted and I genuinely do not know how to help her. I had to be quite forceful regarding her medication as she didn't want to take it. I probably came across as 'mean' to her but she had to take it.

@NorahC The paramedic last night seemed to think that it wasn't a crisis situation. I'm starting to think that maybe because she is my daughter and I'm emotionally involved, that I'm seeing it from a more worrying perspective. Several HCPs don't seem majorly concerned.

@liveforsummer that is a really good idea as looking back to this thread will help me with a timeline. It also helps to talk as I feel so alone in this and don't know which way to turn. I have bought her a weighted blanket as someone suggested and she really likes it (me too haha). I got her a Disney Princess water bottle to encourage her to drink which has helped. Also got her some sleep earphones that are like a headband and cover her eyes too. Not sure if she will use them but will give it a go. Unfortunately I have also had to buy some adult nappies as she is constantly wetting herself. I don't want to encourage her to wet herself but at the same time, I don't want there being a big mess.

@scarecrow22 Thank you for your kind words, they brought tears to my eyes. All the lovely things you said, I don't see that in myself unfortunately. Saying you would entrust your own child with me as well 🥺. That is so lovely. You are completely right about me looking after myself as I'm no good to her if I get unwell too. I haven't mentioned on here before but I have suffered with anxiety too since I was 13/14 (39 now) and have been on medication for most of that time. I struggle with mental health problems but mine is mainly around health anxiety. I'm making sure I take my own medication every day and getting at least some sleep so I don't get unwell too. My DH has been great (not my daughters father). We are taking it in shifts to look after her while the other sleeps. I genuinely could not do this without him.

@ilovebagpuss This may have to be the next thing I request if these antihistamine tablets have no effect on her sleeping. She took one at 2pm today and to be honest, it had zero effect on her. Going to give her another one at around 10pm. I personally feel she needs something stronger but they seem very reluctant to prescribe. You are completely right, I do feel like I am being passed around and that no one will listen or help. I can totally see why people who don't have any family support end up committing suicide though, it's a struggle to get any kind of help. Unfortunately going private would not be an option for us. I don't even have any credit cards as I'm under an IVA so am not able to get credit. I really hope the Sertraline works soon, I can't stand seeing her like this and she just desperately needs sleep.

The current situation is she literally cannot sit still. She pacing all over the house, coming down to make sure doors are locked, she wants all blinds and curtains shut in the house 24/7. I have to admit that I had been doing this but I read an article saying that this is enabling her and we shouldn't completely change our environment as her world will just get smaller and smaller and it won't help her in the long run. I'm letting her have her bedroom how she wants it though and her curtains are continuously shut. She also won't put her bedroom light on anymore, she thinks people can see her. She's very scared of people being outside and coming near the house which ties in with what happened to our door with those teens. She seems to have moved on from the obsession of her sister being on the phone though. She hasn't mentioned it for a couple of nights. I just really wish I could take this away from her.

Still can't get her to sleep, even having those tablets that are meant to make her relaxed and sleepy. Now on night 6 of no sleep.

@Bepis it may not be useful now, in the midst of this crisis, but definitely look into LD support for adults. I'm based in Scotland so don't want to give advice that's not right but the links I posted before should point you in the right direction. Definitely worth having a social care assessment done to make sure she has all the support she can access from that point of view. If there's a route for contacting the local LD team, they might be able to advocate for MH support too if necessary.

Hi OP
Ive just logged on and read up- is there a possibility that this is a UTI and she’s become unwell with the infection- this is common if it’s untreated and goes away with antibiotics.
perhaps the setraline is starting to work but the UTI is fighting back?

Also, I didn’t get as poorly but I did have a rough time years ago with stress. Panic attacks and scary thoughts etc
The only thing that knocked me out to sleep was zopiclone as diazepam relaxed me but wasn’t enough.
I would be ringing every day getting emergency help from GP if you aren’t still in hospital now

She will be ok OP. My mum sat with me through the panic, bless you both.

This is what the paramedic thought and I contacted the GP to try and get antibiotics but then I fell to sleep out of sheet exhaustion and missed their call 🤦🏻‍♀️.

I keep begging for sleeping tablets but they just seem to want to let her suffer, it's ridiculous. They keep saying about her becoming dependant on them but at this moment in time, who gives a flying fig? She needs sleep and that should be their primary concern. I've had zoplicone before and I didn't get addicted. I know you aren't supposed to share prescriptions but my dad takes sleeping tablets and im tempted to ask him for a couple that she can take.

Demand them OP. Don’t take no for an answer, I couldn’t go 3 days without sleep and needed them.
Also UTI is a big one- I thought they’d of given you some antibiotics at hospital.
poor mite. She will be ok it’s just horrible to experience and hopefully she will forget it all once she’s out of it.
i hope you are looking after yourself tho and have a good support network

changes in behaviour, such as acting confused or agitated
wetting themselves (incontinence) that is worse than usual
new shivering or shaking ...

Sorry she didn't get taken into hospital. Paramedics said there was little point. If she hasn't slept by Monday when the GP is open again then I'm not going to go away until they give something stronger. Why are they making her suffer? 😢

Hate to say this but it’s mostly reactive with these sort of things- time goes on it will become more apparent with most illnesses with whatever treatment they need. so they delay and hope it’s nothing instead of being proactive . Have they checked her ears also? I’d rule that out. You honestly never know.
i remember just turning up as the gp was closing and I had pulled over with panic attacks. They saw me straight away. Communication wise can she draw or describe what she is experiencing? What method has she used in the past too express?
at this point I guess it’s about keeping her comfortable and being with her to relax her.

Also I don’t want to suggest as I’m no gp but with sleeping tablets it goes off weight so the smallest dose on the instructions etc
again my mum needed some desperately and I had to get some from a relative as GP was closed
my stepdad had just died and she needed sleep
She got on the smallest dose and just a few hours sleep helped

She hasn't had a physical check like that apart from the paramedics last night who checked her heart, oxygen and blood pressure. She's not had anything else checked. You are right, they seem to wait until it gets so bad that even more problems are created when they could have been nipped in the bud.

She's currently pacing up and down. I can't get her to lay down. She's also wet herself but refusing to get changed and I'm unwell tonight so I can't physically do it right now. Not sure what's wrong with me but I went really dizzy earlier and felt so weird. I had to lay down. I've not been eating properly though and I'm currently in the middle of withdrawals from some medication so I feel crap.

Really tempted to ask my dad for some. She can't carry on like this.

Have you got any support? Any relative or friend to come help?
Its Friday night it’s unlikely you’ll get seen til Monday- I’d get some medication for her to help her sleep and get her out tomorrow if she will leave the house in the fresh air somewhere open. Exhausting the adrenaline