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Original poster

Please help - Scared for my daughter

512 replies

Bepis · 31/12/2022 04:33

My daughter is 18 years old but she has special needs so is a lot younger in her mind. She has suffered with anxiety for the past 5 years or so, to the point where it stopped her attending school and she had to be under CAMHS. Her anxiety was mainly around people she didn't know and new situations.

The past couple of weeks have become so difficult and I just don't know what to do or where to turn.

I noticed her hearing things and she would say to me that her stepbrother swore, or I swore etc when that never happened. That went on for a while but now she is panicking if her sister is on the phone. Her sister will talk to her boyfriend in the evening in her room (they have separate rooms) but my eldest daughter is just flat out panicking about it and refuses to go upstairs. When I finally get her into her bedroom, she will not get in bed but just sits on her bed until 7/8 in the morning.

I tried laying with her this morning so she would get some sleep and she managed an hour or 2.

She's also started putting her fingers in her ears whenever someone talks. Not in a rude way but it's become a reaction. This is within the last couple of days.

She says she can hear her sister talking on the phone at 5/6/7 in the morning despite her sister being fast asleep.

She is also zoned out (I can't think of a better way to describe it). Like when I talk, it's like she doesn't understand me. She's also started whispering instead of using her real voice and is even starting to become non-verbal.

I'm so scared, I don't know what's wrong with her and I don't understand.

I took her to the doctors today and they prescribed Sertraline. She had her first tablet tonight. This seems like more than just anxiety though.

Has anyone else experienced this? Im scared and in tears.

OP posts:
forrestgreen · 10/01/2023 15:00

We had years of peads then cahms etc for voices.
She was diagnosed with autism and they lady said it's surprisingly common. We were flabbergasted (and annoyed) as we've spent years investigating this.

Just an idea

Original poster
Bepis · 10/01/2023 20:57

I spoke too soon, she's gone downhill again. She won't even talk again now and stayed up all last night sat on the side of her bed with her fingers in her ears. She wouldn't lay down and wouldn't go to sleep.

I don't understand why she would start to get better and then go downhill again. She's been having her medication.

I will reply to all your lovely posts a little bit later on but just wanted to update.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bepis · 10/01/2023 21:33

She keeps bursting out laughing but it's so random. It's not at anything. Immediately after she will put her fingers in her ears.

She's refusing to drink now.

OP posts:
365names · 10/01/2023 21:38

Will she suck a lolly? Like a frozen one the plastic ones the long ones?

what about a straw and little sips - cold might help or warm? Neutral flavours or sharp or sweet - all worth trying

the lack of fluid is worrying very worrying - what does the gp say?

365names · 10/01/2023 21:42

Does she have headphones? Weighted blankets? Can you turn off the blue light on the phone?

are you sure about the trauma at her dads? I hate to say this as horrific as it sounds even what you’ve described could trigger a trauma responses - but have you ruled out sexual abuse etc ?

have you got a dog? If not would she engage with one? Mine slept with her Labrador for weeks after and he could calm her when nothing else could

is she still eating?

Original poster
Bepis · 10/01/2023 21:43

365names · 10/01/2023 21:38

Will she suck a lolly? Like a frozen one the plastic ones the long ones?

what about a straw and little sips - cold might help or warm? Neutral flavours or sharp or sweet - all worth trying

the lack of fluid is worrying very worrying - what does the gp say?

She literally won't have anything. She started to improve after going on her medication and she was like her old self again. She's gone backwards again though and now she won't eat or drink again.

Last time when she wouldn't drink, doctors and mental health team didn't seem that concerned which was worrying.

OP posts:
Luckymummytoone · 10/01/2023 21:44

Have you referred her into camhs OP? Sorry I’ve not read all the replies. But she really does need a full MH assessment - you can normally self-refer.
hope she improves soon ❤️

picklemewalnuts · 10/01/2023 21:45

While it's healthier to eat and drink regularly, the occasional period without won't do her much harm. Obviously it's not something that can go on indefinitely, but it's the least of her worries at the moment.

Keep offering fruit, ice cubes, ice lollies, yogurt, milk shakes- whatever she'll take. Don't worry about healthy and balanced, just whatever she'll take.

Hang in the OP.

Luckymummytoone · 10/01/2023 21:47

Oh sorry just realised she is 18!
Call the GP and ask for a referral to your local mental health community team xx

Fluffyhoglets · 10/01/2023 21:58

I've taken my child to A and E when having a mental health crisis where they won't eat or drink. They were very underweight though but it did get us help. They were under 18 at the time though.

Original poster
Bepis · 10/01/2023 21:59

Fluffyhoglets · 10/01/2023 21:58

I've taken my child to A and E when having a mental health crisis where they won't eat or drink. They were very underweight though but it did get us help. They were under 18 at the time though.

Did they end up having to stay in or did you get sent back home?

OP posts:
Fluffyhoglets · 10/01/2023 22:18

They stayed in until they were able to eat and drink again and hospital were satisfied heart rate ok etc. Also seen by on call camhs. Then seen in community after discharge.
Going to A and E might get you the early psychosis assessment others have said you might need. They can also check your DDs physical health.

Fluffyhoglets · 10/01/2023 22:19

This wasnt recent though and things are obviously very difficult in the NHS now.

Original poster
Bepis · 10/01/2023 22:20

Fluffyhoglets · 10/01/2023 22:18

They stayed in until they were able to eat and drink again and hospital were satisfied heart rate ok etc. Also seen by on call camhs. Then seen in community after discharge.
Going to A and E might get you the early psychosis assessment others have said you might need. They can also check your DDs physical health.

I'm going to take her tomorrow if she still hasn't had anything to drink. She's had a sandwich today but she wouldn't eat tea. I try talking to her and she blanks me. I can't even get her to go to her bedroom.

OP posts:
Atethehalloweenchocs · 10/01/2023 22:46

Just a quick thought OP - and so sorry this is happening, it must be so scary for you and for your DD. Are you sure she is taking the medication? I used to work in hospitals and people who are having a psychotic break can get very good at seeming to take their meds but not? Or maybe she needs an anti psychotic. Best of luck to you, I hope the hospital is helpful.

Silkierabbit · 10/01/2023 22:51

So sorry for your daughter. My son is 16 and asd and he has had a bit similar (though not hearing things) and he has had to be hospitalised by cahms and current diagnosis is autistic catatonia. That affects eating, movement, speaking. First course of treatment is lorazepram for that. Needs to see a psychiatrist.

MyBabyLaura · 10/01/2023 22:53

Bepis · 31/12/2022 21:49

Also she's barely eating now.

Get Fortisip or Ensure from pharmacy or health food shop. It's liquid food. Give her real food too but she needs a little help right now.

Dim the lights, put meditation music on softly, don't have people slamming doors or running up the stairs with their shoes on etc.

Get her into nature with a short walk through the park daily if possible.

Any chance you can go away for a week or even just the weekend, just you and her, somewhere quiet by the sea? If she doesn't feel safe at home it could help and the sea air plus walks along the beach is fantastic for making you sleepy.

The Mind website has lots of information about all things MH related.

scarecrow22 · 10/01/2023 23:05

I'm so sorry this is happening to your DD.

I hesitate to support this line or action, as it's not what A&E should be for, but when I was having an (adult) breakdown I felt cast adrift on swells and waves, and no kind but inevitably under-trained GP was helping. Only when it became almost literally unbearable one evening did my DH take me to A&E and within a week I saw a psychiatrist.

To be honest, I am a great supporter of the NHS and GPs, but I am shocked by your treatment.

Wishing you well on the journey.

PS and I, too, got better!

scarecrow22 · 10/01/2023 23:07

Also do anything to get her to do a walk or even swim. Failing that, try to visit water.

Nephthys21 · 10/01/2023 23:23

@Bepis if she has a moderate learning disability then she should have access to LD services in your area. At that level, any therapy or psychiatric input would need to be adapted and is usually provided by LD specialists rather than general adult mental health. Is she known to LD social care? They might be able to suggest other support options adapted to her level of understanding/ability.

Yellowcakestand · 10/01/2023 23:40

I work in community mh services. You can self refer to a community primary care liaison team. Look up your local MH trust and ring them first thing tomorrow morning. Don't wait it out on the tablets any longer.

Nephthys21 · 11/01/2023 00:31

@Yellowcakestand I'm in scotland so it might be different, but is it not a community learning disability team she needs? Or would the liaison team be the gatekeeper to that?

Spaghetti201 · 11/01/2023 00:43

Just a query - could she be taking something? Has she got access to any medicines, or anything poisonous? For example could she be drinking mouthwash or eating something she shouldn’t be? Washing capsules? Is she supervised all the time?

kateandme · 11/01/2023 03:33

I was on the cautious side when you suddenly said she got well.people don't just snap out of mental distress like that.the healing doesn't come from tablets without the emotional healing alongside medical healing.thats why therapy is essential when Drs prescribe medication.they must go alongside each other.one without the other is simply a Sticking plaster.
Whatever's going on needs proper investigation and treatment not pill packet and on your way.this isn't a virus or broken leg.a cast or tablet won't remedy what needs sorting here.she needs proper help from someone who can listen and understand what's going on here.
I don't no how you push for that butbyiu must.
mental health is never given the support it needs until the parents keep pushing.be annoying.be in there faces constantly umtil they act.noone does fuck all otherwise.
And make sure it's someone with who actually knows what they are doing.
Current nhs guides of treating patient is often not fit for bloody purpose. It's actually laughable if it wasn't devastating for the sufferers.
If you can look into privaye? Or look on the online therapist site.

Original poster
Bepis · 11/01/2023 08:33

Thank you for all your lovely messages, I am reading them, im just finding it hard to reply at the moment.

Does anyone have any experience with this uncontrollable laughter? I don't understand it. She will literally just start laughing with her fingers in her ears for no reason at all. Seems to have started after having no sleep. She's been up 48 hours now. Managed to get her to drink a little bit.

OP posts: