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Original poster

WWYD in this situation? Leaving children home alone.

98 replies

roogo · 30/12/2022 21:12

Name changed for this as it could be outing.
DH has an operation tomorrow. Dsis in law was supposed to be looking after our children. She has text me tonight saying she can no longer have them as her son has a cold. She has form for this sort of thing.

The problem is I don't actually have anyone else to look after them. DM is away for NYE, Mother and farther in law have passed away, I am an only. Children are 12 and 9. Hospital is 15 minute walk. DH needs someone with him afterwards due to the nature of the operation. I am likely to be there around 3 hours. Children are very sensible and I can text them whilst I am at the hospital. Do you think it would be okay to leave them?

Feel very stuck and rubbish right now. DH has waited over a year for the operation.

OP posts:
Newlifefortyplus · 30/12/2022 21:13

Why don't you meet husband afterwards, you don't need to be away 3 hours for a 15 min walk

matthancockslovechild · 30/12/2022 21:13

Take them with you? They can sit in waiting room, surely?

Fullofpudding · 30/12/2022 21:14

I would leave them if you think they are sensible. It depends if you think they will
argue with each other. Could a neighbour keep a listen out?

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Jollywren · 30/12/2022 21:14

Definitely fine. Mine are 11 and 13 and I would totally leave them in these circumstances. Your DH must get his op.

ModeWeasel · 30/12/2022 21:15

I would either take them or leave with a neighbour I trusted.

ModeWeasel · 30/12/2022 21:15

11 and 13 might be different

MrsSkylerWhite · 30/12/2022 21:15

The only person that your husband needs with him after an operation are medical staff.

SpideyCraw · 30/12/2022 21:15

If the 12 year old is sensible and trustworthy and it’s only 3 hours then it’s probably just about ok, if they can be in contact by phone. Will you be able to have your phone on at all times at the hospital?

OchonAgusOchonOh · 30/12/2022 21:16

Why do you have to stay at the hospital? Surely you just go and collect him when it's time for him to go home?

I would bring the dc with me to drop him off (or he could walk there) and bring them again to collect him.

Original poster
roogo · 30/12/2022 21:16

DH needs someone to take him there- don't want to be too outing. It may not be 3 hours, it says up to 3 hours, I don't want to get home to then have to rush all the way back there again.

Unfortunately they are not allowed to come with us, strictly one carer/parent only.

I don't trust any of the neighbours, I wouldn't want them to know the children were home alone.

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 30/12/2022 21:16

Meet your DH after and bring him home
when I had an op I was on my own and collected afterwards

do you need to physically be away for three hours?

RoseslnTheHospital · 30/12/2022 21:17

Are there any school friends that they could go to for the day?

Supernormative · 30/12/2022 21:17

They'll be fine. I genuinely don't get the angst on MN about leaving children for a few hours. The eldest is 12 ffs. I hope things go well with your DH.

BendingSpoons · 30/12/2022 21:17

I think it would be OK to leave them in the circumstances. I'd give them some rules e.g. have a sandwich for lunch, don't cook!

Ukholidaysaregreat · 30/12/2022 21:17

9 and 12 with a phone - fine. Or walk home and back. 15mins is not far.

rubyslippers · 30/12/2022 21:17

If it’s only a 15 min walk, you’ll get a call that he’s ready to be collected etc
it won’t be a huge rush
am not sure what else you could do

Original poster
roogo · 30/12/2022 21:19

Both children are very sensible, I didn't really consider dropping DH off and then collecting him, perhaps this is the best option.

I was thinking of giving them lunch beforehand, making sure oldest has their phone and telling them under no circumstances to open the door. We have a ring doorbell so don't have too much of a worry about that.

I have left them before, but only 30 mins at the most, never this long.

OP posts:
walnutmarzipan · 30/12/2022 21:20

If this was me I would at least take the younger one with me to drop him and then again to go and collect. You don't need to be there the whole time he's in theatre. Surely the hospital can call you when he's ready to be discharged.

OchonAgusOchonOh · 30/12/2022 21:20

roogo · 30/12/2022 21:16

DH needs someone to take him there- don't want to be too outing. It may not be 3 hours, it says up to 3 hours, I don't want to get home to then have to rush all the way back there again.

Unfortunately they are not allowed to come with us, strictly one carer/parent only.

I don't trust any of the neighbours, I wouldn't want them to know the children were home alone.

If it's only a 15 minute walk, it's hardly a massively long drive.

Your dh could get a taxi home but to be honest, I really don't see the big deal in bringing the dc to drop him off and then driving back to collect him. I think your children's safety should trump the minor hassle of doing the journey twice.

MichelleScarn · 30/12/2022 21:20

I don't want to get home to then have to rush all the way back there again.

It can't be far though, is that not better than leaving the kids unattended? Take them with you and go for a walk or do something? Are you going to be present for the operation? Is it GA or local?

Passportpondery · 30/12/2022 21:20

I would be fine leaving a 12 and 9 year old.

From 11 I was collecting my sibling who was 3 years younger from school and supervising from 3:30-6:30pm 5 nights a week.

However I also don’t see why you need to be at the hospital. I would drop off and collect as soon as discharged .

SkylightSkylight · 30/12/2022 21:23

at their ages we came home from school & were on our own for 3-5 hours. Every night.

kids these days are more Molly coddled though & this is a one off. My main concern would be them arguing & fighting, so it would largely depend on that.

you could get a paid sitter easily in the day if NYE., so that's an option, or see if school friends could gave them for a few hours if you're worried.

is there not one single neighbour you'd trust?

Suedomin · 30/12/2022 21:23

Do you have any friends you can leave them with? If not I would take them with me. Make sure they have books, pens games etc with them . Most hospitals have cafes it waiting areas

JuneWind · 30/12/2022 21:24

Echoing pps, drop husband off and go home. Await call to say he’s awake and go back to the hospital to collect. Then children aren’t left for a long time, I’d feel much more comfortable leaving them for 2 short periods than 1 long one.

bellac11 · 30/12/2022 21:25

He can get a taxi there, then you can collect later when he is ready to. Its that they wont let him go home unless there is someone to take him or be with him I assume (having an GA?), so you dont need to be there for 3 hours. Just wait for the phone call to go and collect and then leave the kids with instructions to phone if theres a problem