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Original poster

WWYD in this situation? Leaving children home alone.

98 replies

roogo · 30/12/2022 21:12

Name changed for this as it could be outing.
DH has an operation tomorrow. Dsis in law was supposed to be looking after our children. She has text me tonight saying she can no longer have them as her son has a cold. She has form for this sort of thing.

The problem is I don't actually have anyone else to look after them. DM is away for NYE, Mother and farther in law have passed away, I am an only. Children are 12 and 9. Hospital is 15 minute walk. DH needs someone with him afterwards due to the nature of the operation. I am likely to be there around 3 hours. Children are very sensible and I can text them whilst I am at the hospital. Do you think it would be okay to leave them?

Feel very stuck and rubbish right now. DH has waited over a year for the operation.

OP posts:
Original poster
roogo · 30/12/2022 21:26

We don't have a car at the moment. My plan was to get a taxi home with DH.

Obviously I won't be in surgery with him, but he will need some help when he gets there (with booking in etc) and then will need help and someone to take him home once he is out of surgery.

I think I will have to drop him there and sort him out then go home and then back again to collect him. I know it sounds silly but I didn't really think about someone ringing me to collect him. I'm just stressed about the whole thing.

OP posts:
LIZS · 30/12/2022 21:27

Any cafes, library etc near the hospital? You could drop him off and wait there?

Haveagentlechristmas · 30/12/2022 21:27

I would take them with you. If they are anything like mine they can argue. It's only a 15 minute walks, leave him there then come back for him after the operation. No point staying there for 3 hrs.

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Original poster
roogo · 30/12/2022 21:27

He is having a GA but there are also other reasons (which are too outing) as to why he will not be discharged unless there is someone there. They also need to show me how to administer medication as he will not be able to do it himself.

OP posts:
fUNNYfACE36 · 30/12/2022 21:28

You have gone very wrong somewhere if children that age can't be left 3 hours

bellac11 · 30/12/2022 21:28

Why does he need help booking in?

You can just get a taxi back there once he is ready for discharge then. If hes had a GA he will be woozy and not quite with it, even though he might think he is so, they dont (in my experience) let you get a taxi back on your own so you could go in the taxi to collect

Original poster
roogo · 30/12/2022 21:28

I think I will either take them with me and go to the hospital cafe or drop DH and then go home and go back to collect DH.

OP posts:
confusedofengland · 30/12/2022 21:29

Does the hospital have a cafe, or even shops with food/drink/takeaway machines? I would all go, drop DH off on your own, then all have a nice drink in the cafe, read a paper/go on devices etc. 3 hours just seems a bit too long.

LidlCinnamonBun · 30/12/2022 21:30

roogo · 30/12/2022 21:19

Both children are very sensible, I didn't really consider dropping DH off and then collecting him, perhaps this is the best option.

I was thinking of giving them lunch beforehand, making sure oldest has their phone and telling them under no circumstances to open the door. We have a ring doorbell so don't have too much of a worry about that.

I have left them before, but only 30 mins at the most, never this long.

I would tell them to do all that and maybe the have to stay near each other and put a film on to watch, if the 12 year old has a phone make sure it’s charged up and right next to them.

leftitabitlate22 · 30/12/2022 21:31

Why does he need help booking in? I'd just ask them to call you when he needs collecting.they'd be fine for a short amount of time I'm sure.

bellac11 · 30/12/2022 21:31

Yes they will ring when hes ready dont worry. My OH did this recently for me, but it was too far to go home and come back so he sat in the cold car in the car park for 7 hours!!!! They rang him to come inside and collect me, then there was a massive delay so he was in and out of the little waiting room (not allowed to sit in there) for hours in the end.

Carrie76 · 30/12/2022 21:32

My children are that age and I would leave them. If they put a movie on they probably won’t move for the time you’re gone. You can ring them and they you if there’s a problem. It’s not like it’s late at night you’ll be leaving them

XanaduKira · 30/12/2022 21:34

If they're sensible, then I wouldn't hesitate to leave them, however only you know your DCs and whether they're sensible enough to be left home alone.

HavfrueDenizKisi · 30/12/2022 21:34

Personally I'd send him in and then be there to bring him home if I were worried about leaving them that long.

(Although I fail to see how an adult needs help booking in so not sure why you need to do that part).

Bit shit of your DSIL though. I hope you told her how difficult that makes things for you.

FawnFrenchieMum · 30/12/2022 21:35

I would leave my children that age. My DD10 stays home alone now. Chances are they won’t even move if they have eaten and have some form of electrical device!

Choconuttolata · 30/12/2022 21:36

My DH has had both a procedure and daycase surgery recently under local not GA. Most people were on their own and were collected once they had come through recovery. I would drop him off and then get them to phone you once he is close to being able to be collected that way if you do leave them it won't be for long.

eatdrinkandbemerry · 30/12/2022 21:37

I'd leave them without hesitating 🤷‍♀️
You know your kids and they will probably love being able to play on their iPads or gaming without being told to turn it off 🤣

Jellycatspyjamas · 30/12/2022 21:40

My two would fight with each other and I don’t think it’s fair for the older to be responsible for the younger. If you need to take him in I’d take the younger one with you. The hospital really can’t complain that you’ve brought a young child in rather than leaving them with no childcare.

AnyRandomName · 30/12/2022 21:40

I'd leave them without hesitation

I was looking after siblings at that age without any issues, and babysitting late into evenings at 14.

Original poster
roogo · 30/12/2022 21:41

To be fair my gut tells me they would be fine. They get on very well- rarely squabble or fight.

I don't want to say why DH needs help booking in but he definitely does.

I'm just torn as to what to do for the best.

OP posts:
allboysherebutme · 30/12/2022 21:43

You will hardly be rushing back it's 15 minutes away he can stay there with a nurse while you get back.
Go home to your children and take them in the car or taxi to collect him.

Meem321 · 30/12/2022 21:44

Fucking hell. Why do all these posters need to know why her DH needs help checking in? Maybe he's deaf. Blind. Neuro divergent. Mute. High anxiety. PTSD. A whole host of reasons-mind your own bloody business.

Sorry your SIL has let you down, OP. Sounds like you had it all well planned.

Hope it goes smoothly.

Spectre8 · 30/12/2022 21:45

Its 3hrs, 15 min walk, probably 10mins i you had to run home. Ensure the phone is fully charged, give them snacks and movie and they will be fine.

You've left them for 30 mins and it's been fine. Some independence might be character building.

Goldbar · 30/12/2022 21:45

I'd take them and sit in the hospital cafe with them.

JustKeepSlimming · 30/12/2022 21:46

Do you need to be there to take him home as soon as he's ready, or could he wait in the hospital for half an hour while you got there? I'd be inclined to take the younger child at least with you to the booking in - they can wait in the café while you go in with DH. Then the two of you walk back home.

For pickup I'd probably leave them both at home if they're sensible, but stick on a movie or something so they've no chance to annoy each other. If possible, wait until your DH is definitely ready to leave, so you only have 15 mins each way with no waiting time. Otherwise, get a taxi one way at least.

In this situation I'd be inclined to call om school friends, though, if possible. Even if it was a child from DC's class who I didn't really know, I'd happily have them for an hour in those circumstances.