Please share your MIL and her sheer audacity stories!

[whyismymilsuchadick]

My MIL is getting on my last nerve. She’s incredibly rude, thinks she has some sort of ownership over my son and has verbally abused me through a pregnancy loss. There’s honestly a special place in hell for her.

So I ask you, Mumsnet, to make me feel better and share your MIL stories with me.

It's not derailing to disagree with a thread.

You are a living saint!

As a mum of boys I feel this! I'm already dreading walking on egg shells in the future with threads like this.

Don't worry about it.

Just be a normal, sensible kind person with manners. I'm sure you already are.

This.

Then start one!

🥱 We all have mothers/ mother in laws/ aunties/sisters/ daughter in laws/ daughters that always get it wrong.

Can we have a father/father in law/ brother/uncle/son thread for a change?

I needed to go to work today. I took my dc round to the in laws, as planned. MIL was in bed, ill. so I left the kids with FIL and went to work. When I arrived to pick them up 7 hours later, DD 6 was in a right state. Her clothes were all muddy as FIL had her help dig his vegetable patch and plant flowers. The baby had a sore bum. Obviously her nappy hadn’t been changed for over an hour. She had spaghetti sauce all over her mouth from lunchtime. I don’t think either of them had been fed at dinner time.

To cap it all both girls gave an outstanding performance asking if they could stay at grandads a bit longer, making me late for my yoga class! 😡 I just know FIL put them up to it!

AIBU to be outraged that FIL made them go outside in the cold to dig mud and neither of the girls had their lunchtime nap! I’m fumming! I’ve a good mind to pay for a nanny and go no contact. See how FIL likes that!

For the ones claiming they'll never be a bad MIL as they're a good person, you don't know how your future DIL will perceive you! What you think is being kind and helpful will probably result in a thread on how interfering you are etc. 🙄

Mum of boys here so I try to be sympathetic but mine has funny ways! Heart of gold but very set in her ways. Boxing Day we went to someone’s house for dinner. There was a breakfast bar with snacks and some people (inc MIL) stood in front of a bowl of crisps chatting. 10 mins or so later as I passed I grabbed some crisps, MIL wasn’t there. The people standing there asked me a question so I stopped to chat. Next thing I know MIL is barging me out the way, as I had inadvertently stood in ‘her’ place!! We’d been there maybe 20 mins tops! Never mind that I was holding my baby too 😂😂

For the ones claiming they'll never be a bad MIL as they're a good person, you don't know how your future DIL will perceive you! What you think is being kind and helpful will probably result in a thread on how interfering you are etc. 🙄

You do you. I get along fine with people.

My mother in law was brilliant, she's long gone and much missed.

That's what they say to your face 😂😂

That's what they say to your face 😂😂

You sound nice.

@TheYummyPatler Yep, my mother is the epitome of the terrible MIL ... she disliked my SIL from the minute she knew of her existence...God alone knows why, she wasn't particularly close to my brother beforehand.

Any decision they make which my mother doesn't like (which is about 99.9% of them), she automatically blames my SIL for. I've had so many arguments with her over it... is she honestly saying that she raised her eldest son to be so spineless that he's a complete doormat to his wife? Of course that's not the case.

My SIL was offered a very good job in my mother's city, they even flew her out (other side of the world) for the final 'interview' - it was really for SIL to be certain she wanted the job - and my mother was so horrible to her the 2 weeks she was there that my SIL turned down the job. My mother could have had her son living in the same city as her again, but no, being a complete bitch to my SIL was more important...

Like this thread then.

@Marsbardelight

why so defensive?

To the people complaining about this topic, it's not exactly a new issue. There's a reason Freud identified Oedipal complex. Some mothers and sons have a dynamic that makes life difficult for the DIL. It's just one of those things.

I'm allowed my opinion as you say I'll do me.

@FinnysTail
Your FIL sounds as if he did his best to keep two young children entertained.
I think you should pay for a nanny

@Marsbardelight of course.

just curious.

I made a huge effort with my Mil in the beginning even though she was very cold towards me. We got on well eventually and when she had an accident we took her in to nurse her back to health. It was supposed to be for a few weeks while her own house underwent a small renovation but her daughter who lived at home dragged it out for 9 months. Both of them were very happy to leave all her care to me even though I was self employed, had a small child and was studying for my degree part time. My husband was worse than useless and she thought it was unfair that a man should be expected to do anything in the house. ( He wasn't even working at the time) I became chronically ill because of the strain of it all and when I was ill with pneumonia said she would have to move back home as the house was nearly ready and I couldn't keep caring for her while her daughter did nothing to help. Her reply was " No I don't think so". It took weeks more to actually get her home. She didn't even thank me or give me a token present when she left. She realised afterwards when I didn't bother much with her that her and her daughters behaviour had affected my health and ruined what was an ok relationship.

My MIL was ok when me and OH ( used to be a tradesman so very handy) were dating but as soon as we got our house she would invent jobs around her house to get him there.
When I got pregnant she became possive.Phoning every morning before he left for work and the phone would be ringing again the minute he got home,we started ignoring it.

She spoiled her 2 other kids and grandchildren but our kids got nothing.

My husband became very ill,after a couple of weeks I let her know that there was something wrong and it would be long term. Told her OH only left his bed once a day to have a meal with me and our kids.

A couple of weeks later the phone rings on a Friday night.
I didnt answer.
She left a message saying OH phone me back I need some jobs doing this weekend.I was furious.
I turned the ringer off the phone.Over the weekend she had left more messages saying its your mother phone me back.

Monday morning I turned ringer back on and straight away phone rings.
She says have you been away for the weekend because I have been calling and he hasnt replied.
I had steam coming out my ears by this point....I said of course we havent been away,what bloody bit about your son being very ill do you not get.
He isnt doing any jobs for you or anyone else and what about you or your family coming here to visit your sick son and offering to help here.

She made some excuse and she nor anyone else from my husbands family never did visit while he was poorly.

From all the MIL posts I see, I've come to the conclusion it's the men getting splinters on the fence causing a lot of the issues.

If you think your wife is out of line, speak up. If you think your mum is, also speak up. But instead they seem to hover in the middle people pleasing both sides and not helping what could be a lot of miscommunication.

I am sure a lot of people are arseholes. It wouldn't surprise me if my MIL thought I cut DH off from them. In reality, since having children we've done the 'you do your family and I'll do mine' thing. DH is pretty crap and doesn't seem that bothered about his family, so contact has dwindled, presents are late etc.

@sianiboo my mother only has daughters. She’s a pretty terrible MIL though in so many ways.

It does boil down to her being overbearing and controlling. And utterly refusing to accept that her grown up children have their own lives and simply don’t do things the ways she thinks they should.

Having grown up with her as a mother, it can be easy to not see the problems and just see that as how family life is. Except I do. My sister doesn’t.

either way, she’s bloody hard work for her sons in law. I fully appreciate this and recognise it is my job to sort out my mother and not let her take over everything.

I notice that, for the most part, my BIL manages to avoid his MIL as much as possible. My sister goes to stay with our mum; he is busy with work. Or house-related projects. My mum goes to
visit them and he has loads on at work.

My mum in no way recognises that she’s a nightmare MIL. But she is.

Oh my god, this one is awful

So mean!! The poor guy was playing with them how he knew best, they had been fed if sauce on face and his wife upstairs ill in bed. He could have just said no and not watched them for you. b