Please share your MIL and her sheer audacity stories!

[whyismymilsuchadick]

My MIL is getting on my last nerve. She’s incredibly rude, thinks she has some sort of ownership over my son and has verbally abused me through a pregnancy loss. There’s honestly a special place in hell for her.

So I ask you, Mumsnet, to make me feel better and share your MIL stories with me.

Dear God! You poor women!

No man on earth would be worth putting up with MILs like this for. I’d rather be single any day!

Mine’s lovely, speaks a language I’m only partially proficient in so loves me through food.

I’ve had three Mil’s.

First one amazing although her son was a turd.

Second was a bit of a turd at times but I like her a lot and neither her nor DH took any shit from each other so there was never an issue!

This one, she’s the meekest of them all but actually the worst. she came on holiday with no money, asked for the best room and for us to pay for everything. Sides with her son no matter what crap he pulls and basically is completely entitled, lazy, selfish and plays the victim. DH and I are divorcing by the way.

Mine sulked when told she couldn't invite her friends to our wedding (6 of them) there wasn't space (we paid for our wedding) so she invited them anyway and they came. Then told me I was being rude and embarrassing her when I said after welcome drinks there wasn't space for them (they had attended the church and drinks by this point) they came back later for the evening reception!
She told me the next day the least i could have done was find tables for them given "all she had done with planning and setting up our wedding" - she had done nothing we deliberately didn't ask her due to her unreasonable demands!

*Horrible thread. I've had 2 MILs and they were both amazing, generous women. They both had daughters of their own but treated me like their own daughter. My first MIL in particular was kinder to me than my own mother ever was. I miss them both but they brought up their sons to be wonderful men.

One day some of you who are criticising will be the MIL.*

God alive. why are you taking it so personally?

I dislike MY MiL not ALL MiLs. And I dislike her for totally sound reasons.

And I have 4 sons. And I'm not the least worried. Because I would NEVER do the things she does.

But having a problem with a mil trying to walk all over you, and being a mum of sons and future mil are different things. If you're a lovely, non competitive, boundary accepting mil I doubt there'll be any issue.

My ex-MIL is a wonderful woman and the perfect MIL.

my current MIL is… a truly toxic person. I’ve come to realise that many of the problems I have with my H can be traced to the ways she screwed him up. He hid the dysfunction well for quite a while, but actually his absolutely weird ideas about family and relationships come directly from having been raised by a nasty, bitter misanthrope, determined to alienate her children from their father and ensure that none of them will ever be happy. Because why should anyone be allowed happiness when she’s incapable of it?

It’s not a MIL thing. It’s a specifically my MIL is a terrible person thing.

You know you can scroll on by right?

it’s not compulsory to be here or to read all threads

It’s not a MIL thing. It’s a specifically my MIL is a terrible person thing.

Exactly.

Didn't attend our wedding abroad- despite it being where MIL has other family and visits often. Sent us a card with a cheque, but asked us NOT to cash it, as they couldn't afford it! 🤔

A week later she took DH's sister and her brood of 4 children and husband to disneyworld for 2 weeks!!! Did I mention that DH's sister had a massive wedding entirely paid for by PIL's.

It's not compulsory to agree with every thread either.

I’m up for that

Well exactly.

There’s no need to worry that a future DIL will feel the same way about you as you do about a horrible individual who causes harm in your life.

I’ll aim to emulate my lovely first MIL’s approach, who I like more than my own mother! She’s not some kind of saint; she’s just a sensible woman who isn’t difficult or overbearing or controlling (or any of the things problem MILs are).

Tbh, my mother is hard work and in the problem MIL category. The fact she’s my mother doesn’t prevent me recognising this.

I don't see what's wrong with this.

I’m up for that

We'll go for it champ. Who is stopping you?

OMG! I hope that was the last time you ever had the misfortune of being in her presence?

This

God mine is awful. DH is her favourite child, he can do no wrong. She has never told him off ever, let him behave however he wants, told him he's special and consequently he's been diagnosed with a personality disorder because of her dysfunctional relationship with him.
When she split up with her DH she told my DH that he was now her soul mate. So weird. She's also made comments about my engagement ring "that she should wear it". Seems to direct alot of jealousy towards me.
She makes lots of racist remarks too, using really offensive language even though I'm mixed race. She once told me she'd had a good taxi journey because the driver was white.
She repeatedly says that our 3 year old is "just exactly like his daddy", "doesn't need his mummy and doesn't miss me" "just loves his daddy"etc.
She thinks breast feeding is "wrong" and once told me off for taking DH to a play group where a mum was breastfeeding because "DH shouldn't have to see that" She doesn't believe in the modern man, thinks women are just here to be slaves to their men, sacrificing their own happiness and well being in favour of what the husband wants. Oh and "men shouldn't change Nappies". If I'm wfh and DS nappy needs changing she won't ask my DH to do it, she will bang on my office door and ask me to.
She's a complete tw*t.

Unpleasant thread. I think a lot of problems arise because of Dil and Mil competing for control of husband/son. Both are generally jealous of the other’s status. I’m not a Mil yet, but hope my son chooses wisely, and doesn’t end up with someone who is confrontational and petty. But I’ve raised him well, so hopefully whoever he picks to settle down with will be lovely natured and kind…….🤞

It’s pretty manipulative. Her son told her he did not want to have Christmas dinner with her. But was guilted into agreeing to visit on Christmas Eve. So she decided to force him to have Christmas dinner with her.

I wouldn’t have been impressed if my mum had done something like that.

Unpleasant thread. I think a lot of problems arise because of Dil and Mil competing for control of husband/son.

No. I don't "compete for control of my husband ".

You're entirely wrong.

If you think posts are offensive then report them, but don’t derail existing threads because you’ve decided you’re the thread police.

you aren’t in charge of policing other people’s discussion topics. If you don’t like the topic, don’t read it 🤷‍♀️

@Weepachu unfortunately not. I keep contact minimal though. Im polite for DH’s and children’s sake.

As a mum of boys I feel this! I'm already dreading walking on egg shells in the future with threads like this.

I know many MiLs and some of them are wonderful and many are lovely and most at the very least have the basic decency to get along in family situations and have ordinary good manners.

Mine sadly is vile. I'm a full grown up and I see it very clearly.

I don't need anybody coming on here and explaining to me I'm misogynistic or "will find out" when I'm a MiL or that I'm competing for my DH or any other nonsense.