The best ‘self help’ book you’ve ever read…

[TrifledOut]

I’m not really into self help books, to be honest. I’ve got ADHD and usually get bored and demotivated and stop reading them halfway through. BUT… I’m really feeling the need for some ideas / guidance going into 2023, and maybe a bit of motivation, energy, creativity…something!

I’ve just left a hideously stressful job (and long career) in education. I start a 6-month corporate training contract next week, which is not something I want to do long term, but needed a short term, paid way out of education. I’m already stressed and bored thinking about it, if I’m honest.l, but it’s got to be better than the teaching / SLT madness.

I’m 45, knackered, perimenopausal, Mum to older teenagers, feeling really down on myself lately and I need to pretty much rethink my whole direction in life.

What book do I need to read to change my life? (Trying not to feel like a complete twat for typing that sentence).

The art of happiness by the Dalia Lama. Simple readable accessible Buddhist philosophy. I’m going to plug in my Kindle when I get home tomo and get reading!!

I agree that The Road Less Travelled was also really instrumental in changing how I lived. I used to be trapped in that need to feel 'in love' and got very restless as soon as the honymoon period of a relationship was over. After reading his chapter on the difference between Love and In love I totally changed not just how I approached relationships but the kind of man I valued and wanted. And then met DH and could see a long term future for us.

My pleasure. It's such a kind, wise book.

Very Welcome!

Thank you from me too, I read that book in my thirties and it was so helpful, but I'd forgotten its message, thanks for reminding me!

Place marking. Excellent thread

I watched the Stutz doc on Netflix this evening, so thank you to the poster who recommended that upthread. His philosophy seems quite grounded in Buddhism, which has appealed to me for a while, so we’re definitely things that resonated.

I’ve read The Power of Now (years ago) so going to dust that off and re-read it. I don’t think I was in the right frame of mind when I read it. It was recommended by a friend at a time in my life when I thought all self help and anything with even a sniff of the ‘spiritual’ about it was bullshit, but I’ve changed my outlook quite a lot since then.

Looking forward to my Amazon haul arriving over the next few days! New year, new me and all that jazz .

Excuse typos

There was a book called Be Your Own Life Coach which I read just before I left home, well over 20years ago, which was really good to help me be a bit more strategic with my decisions and confident about following them. I think it may have been a bit more right place, right time than it being a great masterpiece in the world of Self Help though.

Learned Optimism by Martin Seligman is a really good, convincing book. I've just got it off the shelf again after a poster mentioned it the other day and it's excellent.

The Chimp Paradox has been hugely useful to me in understanding stress, anxiety and emotional reactions.

I also loved Untamed by Glennon Doyle, Happy Days by Gabrielle Bernstein quite honestly changed my life by helping me understand my reactions to things.

You could also try a podcast. I like On Purpose with Jay Shetty, The Mindset Mentor and Impact Theory for starters.

Good luck on your journey!

Thanks for starting this thread, OP, and to everyone for their suggestions. Fellow ADHD here, but this has given me lots to load up the Kindle with. Thanks again, everyone.

Yes, they really helped me.

Following
So much of my life is a mess and needs improving but no idea where to start

Richard Carlson: stop thinking start living.
Game changer for me - I had never really figured out that my own thoughts could sometimes be the sole reason I felt miserable. I thought they were a reflection of reality, but he points out that they rarely are, but have the power to drag us down independently of what's really going on.
Not sure I've explained that very well 🤔

Another vote for 'He's just not that into you'. Read it around 18 yrs ago and it helped me enormously at the time. And my absolute favourite quote from the book... 'you already have one asshole, you don't need another one' 😆

@Accyd - thank you, that’s the one.
I really like her holistic approach and will give it a try in the new year

Another ADHDer here and I wanted to add a vote for Atomic Habits. I can’t think of big overwhelming changes (autistic too) and it is refreshing to hear the honesty about the fact it’s not realistic to expect things to change overnight with some magic schedule etc. The power of small changes consistently is inspiring especially when he used it to build himself back up after an awful injury.

I might give it another listen in the new year actually, life has thrown many changes at me in the last few months and I could do with renewed inspiration. Also, I love his accent. 😁

I’ve bought Atomic Habits, so thank you to all who have recommended that. Will start reading tonight.

I also bought Best Year Yet, read the first two parts last night, and have set aside a few hours today to do the ‘work’ bit. I’m quite looking forward to it, as I have a very scattered mind (understatement!) and I find it really hard to see my life - achievements, things I need to work on - with any clarity. Hoping it will at least give me a bit of that!

Will report back!

James Clear is on the latest Rangan Chatterjee podcast (a re-release)

Breaking the chain of low self esteem by Marilyn sorensen - an absolute game changer

Power of a positive no by William ury

Scattered mind says it all @TrifledOut !

My friends think I'm clever but really my brain 🧠 is like a giant cobweb into which falls all sorts of useless disconnected rubbish. Was even thinking of hypnotherapy to help with concentration.

5 hours later I’ve emerged from doing the Best Year Yet ‘workshop’. It was really enjoyable and I found it hugely helpful in getting a bit of clarity around things and setting some goals for myself for the year ahead. Can’t thank you enough for that recommendation (to those who recommended!).

If anyone else wants to use this thread to note down or talk about any self-help type stuff they’re reading or listening to and tracking their progress, go ahead!
I don’t want a thread all about me and my boring problems .

What's the Best Year Yet book @TrifledOut? I'm not sure I'm looking at the right one.

I picked up Susan Jeffers' Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway in a bookshop the year it was published.

I read the summary but didn't buy it. But over the next decade, whenever I was really nervous anticipating something, those words alone really, really helped me!