The best ‘self help’ book you’ve ever read…

[TrifledOut]

I’m not really into self help books, to be honest. I’ve got ADHD and usually get bored and demotivated and stop reading them halfway through. BUT… I’m really feeling the need for some ideas / guidance going into 2023, and maybe a bit of motivation, energy, creativity…something!

I’ve just left a hideously stressful job (and long career) in education. I start a 6-month corporate training contract next week, which is not something I want to do long term, but needed a short term, paid way out of education. I’m already stressed and bored thinking about it, if I’m honest.l, but it’s got to be better than the teaching / SLT madness.

I’m 45, knackered, perimenopausal, Mum to older teenagers, feeling really down on myself lately and I need to pretty much rethink my whole direction in life.

What book do I need to read to change my life? (Trying not to feel like a complete twat for typing that sentence).

Another vote for Power of Now. It helped me through a severe MH crisis

Sorry for going slightly off track - a few months ago there was a thread on here about a fitness and empowerment writer called Louise someone or other and her “ inner circle.” Philosophy. It seemed to be all about resilience. I meant to look into it when I had some downtime between Christmas and New Year but now I cannot remember her surname or find it on Amazon. Does anyone please have any suggestions?

A mindful year by Dr Aria

Years ago my son was seen at a local CAMHS clinic. We hadn’t had much luck with therapy in the past but we gave it another go not really expecting much to help and he saw Dr Aria. He was so so calm and reassuring and instantly connected with my son who was about 9 at the time - he explained things so well and I was taken aback at how ds responded. He is really a very very highly skilled professional so when i saw he had a book recently i got it as I knew it would be helpful and insightful. I thoroughly recommend it

@happiestChristmas i love Dr Aria!

Thank you op! This is such a needed thread! I started reading "I'm a badass at making money" bc I have a terrible relationship with money

He honestly changed our lives my son saw him for a few months and the strategies he learnt in that time changed him . Even now years later he still talks about him and uses the coping skills he worked on with him. I sat in on just a couple of the sessions and those I didn’t I would go in at the end and he would recap over what work they’d done together. It was amazing as up to that point my son had been resistant almost to therapy. A lot of it even helped me as he explained things so well i would sometimes think ‘oh goodness that explains why I feel that way sometimes !’ . He was so calm as well he had such a presence and seemed to be very kind, he helped us so much we feel very lucky we got to see him on the nhs

Atomic habits by James clear is fantastic, it's really easy to read and makes so much sense. It's all about how the actions we stake today are creating the version of you in the future, and more importantly the actions we take consistently and repetitively. Ever action we take is either moving forwards towards the person we want to be or spiralling us further away. So we have to begin building the right habits that will over time transform us. Little things like 10 mins of daily exercise will compound over time and lead to a fitter body and motivate us to be more and more active.

It's not a quick fix but I highly recommend.

I’ve bought a few on procrastination but not managed to read any yet (and no, I’m not being witty).

The subtle art of not giving a f*ck changed my life.

How?

Has to be the Louise Parker Method?

Shamelessly bookmarking as interested in this thread.

Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fck: How to Stop Spending Time You Don't Have with People You Don't Like Doing Things You Don't Want to Do (A No Fcks Given Guide Book 1) By Sarah Knight,

her YouTube video is brilliant, I was going through a bit of a tough time and it guided me away from a few things I really didn’t want to do but couldn’t say no to.

Also placemarking. Thank you.

Finding this thread really interesting and @HappyHolidai your post is very touching ❤️.

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Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving: A GUIDE AND MAP FOR RECOVERING FROM CHILDHOOD TRAUMA by Pete Walker

Was the perfect book just when I needed it

Placemarking too!

Getting Things Done by David Allen - it looks like a businessy productivity method, but it's actually a very effective way to keep a handle on everything you have on your plate in life.

I don't do it perfectly, but it has changed my stress levels massively as I'm not constantly doing things last minute or forgetting them

So good they can’t ignore you
your life plan
switch

Not a self help book as such, but Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig.

The Chimp Paradox...think its by Steve Peters

I was going to say this one. It's brilliant.

Also Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents is very good. If you've grown up with neglectful or abusive parents, both books help you to understand why you feel the way you do and forgive yourself if you blame yourself for not being enough for them.

Also the Chimp Paradox helps you to understand how feelings can be incredibly powerful and we have to acknowledge and process them, before we can challenge our unhelpful thought/behavioural patterns.

Emma McAdam on YouTube is brilliant at explaining a lot of psychological theories and particularly how to process our emotions.

Totally changed my perspective on a relationship and how I was living my life. Left partner of 10 years at 30, went travelling, moved house, met someone else, now I've just had a baby. A totally, totally different life and countless relationships have changed for the better.

Anything by Brene Brown