The best ‘self help’ book you’ve ever read…

[TrifledOut]

I’m not really into self help books, to be honest. I’ve got ADHD and usually get bored and demotivated and stop reading them halfway through. BUT… I’m really feeling the need for some ideas / guidance going into 2023, and maybe a bit of motivation, energy, creativity…something!

I’ve just left a hideously stressful job (and long career) in education. I start a 6-month corporate training contract next week, which is not something I want to do long term, but needed a short term, paid way out of education. I’m already stressed and bored thinking about it, if I’m honest.l, but it’s got to be better than the teaching / SLT madness.

I’m 45, knackered, perimenopausal, Mum to older teenagers, feeling really down on myself lately and I need to pretty much rethink my whole direction in life.

What book do I need to read to change my life? (Trying not to feel like a complete twat for typing that sentence).

Not a self help book, but it kind of had that effect, straight jacket by matthew todd, there were so many moments when it felt like I was reading about myself.

Your Best Year Yet is v good, and the New Year is a good time to read it!

Meditations by Marc Aurelius.

The Road Less Travelled by M.Scott Peck is the one that had the biggest impact on the way I was living my life.

Find Your Own North Star by Elizabeth Gilbert is a good one for working out what to do with your life.

I May Be Wrong by Bjørn Natthiko Lindeblad is good for soothing an anxious mind.

YY to Marcus Aurelius, and I keep The Daily Stoic by my bed, too.

We read Essentialism recently and found it helpful, too.

And Happy, by Derren Brown (Stoicism).

Thank you @NewToWoo - such a good summary - so helpful.

I love this book

Pema Chodron -
When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times

Pema is a Buddhist nun ... her writing is deeply compassionate yet firm.

I've had a difficult decade with a LOT of troubles, it's helping me get over a divorce, rape and a learning difficulty diagnosis

Yes, me too.

Also Mean Mothers by Peg Stroop and Will I Ever Be Good Enough by Karyl McBride.

Those are great books for anyone dealing with cptsd and narcissistic mothers, specifically.

But a more general book I found brilliantly helpful was Jordan Peterson's 12 Rules for Life. It helped me make a lot of changes and stop feeling sorry for myself.

Stop Thinking, Start Living by Richard Carlson

High Energy Habits by Bill Ford helped me a lot. It's about paying attention to what drains and what replenishes your energy levels, and it's very practical. It's the only SH book I've ever persuaded a man to read!

@beastlyslumber thank you for the mother suggestions ... I struggle massively with my mum and always feel on edge around her.

It's exhausting

I recommended Four Thousand Weeks upthread, and have just seen it’s 99p on Kindle today.

Mel Robbins The 5 second rule, there is a TED talk so you can watch that to see if she strikes a cord before getting the book.
I listen rather than read because I can't keep focused long enough on non fiction books to read them.
It hasn't changed my life, I'm still a massive procrastinator but it has improved it.

A blast from the past but hell yes! I've used quotes from that with friends for years. I remember 'if someone wants to be with you they will move heaven and earth to do so..'

Another vote for Mel Robbins - started listening to her podcast 8 weeks ago and have already made so much progress in changing my career and working out what makes me happy.

Excellent! Thanks for the tip-off.

Jordan Peterson's book "12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos" has helped alot of people... he seems like a cr3edible and caring person... here is a summary of the book:

Stand up straight with your shoulders back: This means taking responsibility for your own life and not allowing external circumstances to dictate your actions.
Treat yourself like you would someone you are responsible for helping: This means being kind and compassionate towards yourself and taking care of your physical and mental health.
Make at least one thing you do better every single day: This means setting goals and working towards improvement, rather than remaining stagnant.
Do not allow yourself to become arrogant or resentful: This means being humble and not letting success go to your head, and also not holding grudges or allowing negative emotions to consume you.
Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient): This means prioritizing your values and long-term goals, rather than focusing solely on short-term gain.
Tell the truth, or at least, don't lie: This means being honest and transparent, both with yourself and others.
Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don't: This means being open to other perspectives and seeking to learn from others.
Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street: This means taking small pleasures in life and finding joy in simple things.
Do not transform your wife into a maid: This means respecting and valuing the contributions of those close to you, rather than taking them for granted.
Care about what other people think, and you will be hated: This means not trying to please others at the expense of your own authenticity and integrity.
Pursue what you want cautiously, considerately, and strategically: This means being mindful and thoughtful in your actions and decisions.
Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street: This rule is repeated for emphasis on the importance of finding joy in small things.

@NewToWoo that is such a kind thing to do, thank.you so much for taking the time to do it. I'll find the book. I like anything in multiples of three so the nine box thing really appeals. My internet has been flakey (massive probs with Virgin) so haven't been able to reply and thank you til now . Merry Christmas and a happy new year.

Thank you everyone who has taken time to suggest something .

In my typical scattergun fashion I may have ordered several (quite a few!) of the books mentioned 🤪

I’ve also downloaded the tapping app, and am going to look into some of the podcasts mentioned this evening.

Currently watching ET in my pyjamas, eating chocolate and feeling a bit blue, so there is plenty of work to do to get my mojo back and my arse into gear for next year…

@Advysa I've found that really helpful, thank you for taking the time to write that summary.

Another good app is Blinkist. It contains a synopsis of many different books and has signposted me to some really interesting reads.
Admittedly, the spoken versions can be annoying but you can always read them too. Lots of different categories of books available.

Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance.