The best ‘self help’ book you’ve ever read…

[TrifledOut]

I’m not really into self help books, to be honest. I’ve got ADHD and usually get bored and demotivated and stop reading them halfway through. BUT… I’m really feeling the need for some ideas / guidance going into 2023, and maybe a bit of motivation, energy, creativity…something!

I’ve just left a hideously stressful job (and long career) in education. I start a 6-month corporate training contract next week, which is not something I want to do long term, but needed a short term, paid way out of education. I’m already stressed and bored thinking about it, if I’m honest.l, but it’s got to be better than the teaching / SLT madness.

I’m 45, knackered, perimenopausal, Mum to older teenagers, feeling really down on myself lately and I need to pretty much rethink my whole direction in life.

What book do I need to read to change my life? (Trying not to feel like a complete twat for typing that sentence).

How to do everything and be happy by Peter Jones. Was recommended on MN 10 years ago and changed my life. Have been recommending it on here since.

Feel the Fear

life changing. I credit it with giving me the courage to leave my marriage. Thank fuck I did!

Feel the Fear in my 20s was life-changing.
Ekhart Tolle's The Power of Now in my 40s was hugely helpful.
I recommend Stoicism as a philosophy for facing life's day to day crap.

There are books on Ikigai for career stuff. Or Youtube clips.

The book that completely changed my life was happy by derren brown. He says it isn't really a self help book but for me it 100% is.

I have tried lots of different self help books over the years but never stuck to it, got bored etc. This one just completely spoke to me. He goes into a lot of detail about different philosophers, especially stoics, and how they lived and gives you ideas with how to apply any of these ideas to your own life. He is also quite critical of the self help industry and how actually a lot of it doesn't work and puts pressure on the individual which then eventually leads to failure and the whole cycle begins again.

It's a really interesting read and I learnt so much from. Such a clever, kind and compassionate man.

'I am enough' by Marisa Peer sorted me right out. I have adhd also but this book is quite straight forward (it might be easy for me to read because psychology is my hyper focus).
It is available on Amazon.

Also remeber with adhd; kicking yourself into gear doesn't work.
For the most part neurotypicals don't understand that.
I can kick myself a little into gear sometimes but I'd like to learn a better way.

I don't know if It's self help as such, but The Gift of Fear have stayed with me for ages.

Another vote for Rangan Chattergee. I also find his podcast really good too, if you like to listen rather than read.

Susan Jeffers wrote Feel The Fear.
Some of her later books are fab too.
Particularly End The Struggle and Dance with Life.

Agreed

How to solve our human problems by Geshe Kelsang Gyatso. Buddhist psychology.

and

How not to hate your husband after kids by Jancee Duncan. Evidence based chat that speaks to many womens experiences!

James Smith - not a life coach

Your life is like mine. Except I’m still in my stressful education job! I do have ADHD (treated with methylphenidate) and am on HRT.

anything by Brene Browne. I particularly like the audiobooks as reading is a struggle for me now.

Atomic Habits

'How to Keep House While Drowning' by KC Davis. Best self help book I've ever read in the sense that's it's a rare combination of insight with genuinely helpful practical tips.

How to do the Work by Nicole Lepera really helped me shift my mindset last year and cut out negative energy (people and situations) from my life.

Feel The Fear is a good one but I don’t actually apply the advice to my real life so it hasn’t helped me that much 😫

May not be for you depending on your personality - but for me Quiet by Susan Cain was honestly life-changing.

I learned that it was OK to be an introvert and that I wasn't weird.

There's a book called 50 Self-Help Classics: 50 Inspirational Books to Transform Your Life from Timeless Sages to Contemporary Gurus
Book by Tom Butler-Bowdon. It summarises the most popular self help books and as someone with ADHD also this made it easy to read and digest. You can then pick out the ones that resonate with you and read the whole books.

Rich Dad Poor Dad - not exactly a self help book, but my husband and I read it three years ago and we’ve halved our mortgage in that time and it also totally changes your mindset about owning “things” to look rich.
Second one is “Mindsets” by Dr Carol Dweck, all about growth mindset. So fascinating.

Oh, thank you everyone! I went to my Mum’s for dinner and am now home and in a food coma, but will look at all your suggestions tomorrow. Thank you so much .

Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman. Very much not in the ‘guru tells you how to live your life’ model, more giving you permission to make the choices which are right for you.

Atomic Habits by James Clear.

I didn't read it, I listened to it on audible.

The emotional work? Could you say more about this?

Definitely. An absolute gem of a book. It helped me through a severe MH crisis