Entitled CFs at Christmas - stories please!

[BarbaraVineFan]

I always love the CF threads on MN and thought I'd start one with a Christmas twist..not much to add myself but csn offer the story of my uncle, who never used to lift a finger at Christmas (Or any time) and expected all the women of the house to scurry round fetching him drinks and snacks, then would complain about whatever he was given, 'these mince pies have way too.much pastry' or similar. Even as a child I remember getting frustrated on my aunt's behalf!

Anyone got any stories to share?

That's made me well up thank you so much. This thread is actually really lovely xx

@icanwearwhatiwant I sure there would have been bread and cheese.
But I wasn't going to start looking for it..
She sulked when I said an hour later that I was leaving....but I have all these games planned....I said sorry but I am hungry.

Total Narc.

Invited someone for Xmas day. She accepted, and then shortly after told us she would be bringing someone with her because she did not want them to be on their own that day. We said OK - no problem with one extra. Then shortly after that it became obvious that she was planning on dropping her relative with us and then heading off to see other family for the day.
The invitation was politely withdrawn shortly after.

We were invited around on Christmas Day for dinner to my PILS which I thought was lovely.. they told us to come around at 3 for dinner.
We arrived on time ( early) and they had already eaten as they had gotten hungry, then served us a cold dinner.... they then gave my two Children gifts.. my oldest ( and favoured) had a toy worth approx £50 and my youngest has a tree ornament... from b&m.
After this they went up to bed from about 6 till close to watch the soaps ( they didn't have a tv downstairs but they had sky plus so could have recorded them) we didn't see them the rest of the night.
My and my husband wanted to go but I couldn't drive at the time and he had had too much to drink over our cold dinners... we never went back for Xmas day again.

Another ILs one. When he was 17 DS2 had to have major facial surgery to correct a development abnormality a week before Christmas. The surgery involved cutting and moving bones with plates attached. He was back home a couple of days before Christmas but we had an outpatient appointment including x-rays on Christmas Eve to check everything was going OK which exhausted him. He had his jaw wired and was on a very soft diet for 4 weeks. He was really bruised, swollen, sore and tired. We said we wouldn't be hosting but if people wanted to call in for an hour to say hello etc they would be welcome but DS really wasn't up to much and would be sleeping most of the day. ILs spent Christmas Day with BIL and said they would call in on their way home on Boxing Day. They turned up just as we sat down to lunch, luckily we had enough to go round an extra 2. Then they wanted to stay overnight so FIL could drink. We ended up having to insist they leave after 5 hours.

@ForeverWeBlend she was dropping a relative off at yours - complete strangers - to go spend time with other relatives?

How did you find out? What did you say to her? That's a brass neck!

DM has CF form. One year she gave us (DH and I) a joint present of some biscuits. The top layer of a box of biscuits. Not the box, just the top layer pulled out. She tossed it across a table at DH, unwrapped. She gives DS £10 every year. We had given her 3-4 thoughtful gifts, wrapped, and spent around £100 in total that year. They were nice gifts. We also always make sure her dog had gifts too. It's just DM and her dog.

Since then, I've reduced it to 1-2 thoughtful gifts + dog presents. She sends me a link to the things she wants for Christmas and always gets what's she's asked for plus something else.

This year we went to her for a few days before Christmas. As always, I bought and cooked dinner. All I asked her to do was wash her roasting tin, it was dirty with breadcrumbs from whatever she last cooked in it. She tipped them out and passed the tin back to me as clean. I fucking lost it. All I wanted was a clean tin.

We'd already 'swapped' gifts this year. DS got his £10 and she collected all the gifts she'd requested and didn't even throw a biscuit my way. I had to beg and I mean literally beg her for a cup of tea when I arrived. 2hr drive took 5hrs due to road closures and I was in a lot of pain (I'm disabled). I needed a brew and pain killers and said that but she still wouldn't make me one until DS started asking her where everything was to do it instead.

Christmas Day, I phoned her. DS told her he got a new iPad and a bike. 4 mins after hanging up the phone, she text asking for his old iPad. It's broken, that's why he got a new one. FFS. She is the most grabby and ungrateful person I know.

One year we arranged a pre Christmas meal with friends at a local restaurant we all liked. A couple of days before friend messages to say they can’t afford to go out and needed to cancel. So I offered to have them over and I would cook instead, friend said that would be lovely, but they were both on diets and they didn’t want much. No problem. I messaged them the day before with a few options and they chose the healthiest, which DH ended up cooking.

On the night DH served the meal which they looked at a said “we’re not rabbits where’s the rest” I thought they were joking and said I thought you were both on diets? Friend replied not anymore (they were the day before though). They proceeded to poke and eat the food complaining the whole time. I then offered some dessert which I was saving as it was quite expensive. Once they polished that off they then complained further that they were still hungry, so I cooked a load of the buffet food I had in the freezer. When they were leaving I heard them say I can’t believe we got a babysitter for that, shall we go and get a takeaway.

I haven’t invited them back since.

I’d like to add when you are invited to their house you don’t get offered a drink and have to take you own food. They once invited us and DC for lunch, they proceeded to cook a big lunch, dish up there’s but not us. Then said we we’re welcome to order ourselves a takeaway if we wanted (they were not offering to buy it, they just didn’t mind if we ordered ourselves something)!

They are quite wealthy and holiday at least 5 times a year. So I think they could of stretched to sandwich.

They once invited us and DC for lunch, they proceeded to cook a big lunch, dish up there’s but not us.

I'd have left and blanked them, after that.

The payment was worth it just to have the story to tell

Truly awful

Unbelievable! Where do such extreme CFs exist? And what did you say to their lunch offer?

Had some extended family visit in the weeks before Christmas. They seemed to mistake the house for a free hotel, so walked in the door, dumped their bags and didn't move from the sofa for the next 3 days unless called to the table for meals.

We ran out of alcohol so I popped to the shop to pick up some extra and one of the relatives offers to drive me. In the shop, he added 3 bottles to my basket and then just as I got to the checkout mysteriously disappeared.

Following morning I couldn't be bothered being a waitress any more so I just told them to help themselves to breakfast. We deliberately had a lie in and left them to it. When we came downstairs just after 9, they actually complained that I'd not cooked them a full English as I had done on the other mornings and actually said 'you shouldn't let your standards slip'.

Think it was meant to be a 'joke'.
They did try to arrange a date to come again in the summer. No.

A lot of years ago MIL came for Christmas Dinner.
Had to be arranged around the times she walked her daughters dogs who had been dumped on her the night before.Every year.

After dinner we are all playing a board game with my young son....MIl says need a lift home,dogs to walk.
I say to DH who was giving her a lift home dont be long we will finsh game when you get back.

Husband is a tradesman.
MIL says oh no he will have to come in I need a couple of jobs doing.
I say no sorry think he deserves a day off on Christmas Day.

So he drops her outside her house,she says come in a minute I have a cake for you to take back.
DH goes in and she says oh silly me I have already taken it to yours....whilst you are here you may as well do these jobs.DH said no and came home.

That was the last time she was invited,I was pregnant and the year after the timings were going to revolve around my baby and us....and not SIL dogs or a MIL who thinks her son doesnt deserve a day off

That is so funny 'the standards slip' comment.

We have a house in a tourist area and have several festivals here a year. We have CFuckers galore. This was not at Christmas, but once we had friends of some of DH's friends (so not people we actually knew ) come to stay with us which we agreed to as a favour for said friends. They were staying for 8 days. They came with nothing, not even a bottle. I did two copoked meals a day (breakfast and dinner- they went out for lunch).

Second to last day the husband of the 'guests' told me it was pissing him off that we had leaves all over our terrace. he actually handed me a broom and said 'Don;t be so fucking lazy and just sweep it up'.

Reader - I did.

Because I am an idiot.

@cleanasawhistle not a Christmas CF I don't even think my MIL would stoop that low. But fairly regularly we'd get a Sunday dinner invite at the start of the week. Cool great. Then the phone call on the Sunday morning, "can you bring your tools x has just broken".
None of it was ever a 10min job, eventually DH made a point he wasn't doing it any more. Don't think we've had a dinner invite since.

@Sugarfree23 .lol least you got fed.
I never ever had even a cuppa in my MIL house.
If we turned up she would say to him why arent you at work....erm because its Sunday.
Right come with me I need jobs done....and I would be left sitting there.
After my OH having a long illness and our kids not getting treted same as other grandkids we stopped going.
No fall out but never went near....dint stop her phoning now and again trying to get him round but always said no ask brother or sister.

Is it really that cheeky for a mother to ask her son to fix something and then cook him a meal in return?

@snatchabook it's mild compared to other posts on here but if you want jobs done be up front - Can you put up shelves in the shed, when you have time!
Don't create the time in someone's weekend then ask them to work.

In-laws asked if we could host Christmas for the whole family, BIL and SIL and their partners and children when our youngest was 6 weeks. In-laws paid for the Turkey and we asked BIL and SIL to bring things like cheese and biscuits.
BIL made no effort to help and complained about being asked to bring snacks. We missed our children opening presents while we served all of them. Pil only paid attention to SIL and BIL children.
SIL and her partner had a row and locked themselves in our only bathroom and their youngest fell over and wanted his parents who didn't come out of the bathroom so we had to comfort him as well as cook for 12.
When they left I said never again and have been true to my word for 25 years.

@cocktailclub I can't even get over the cheak of them asking you to host when you had a 6 week old baby.
I'm guessing it was sold to you as it will be easier than you dragging the baby to us and we'll help!

It's one thing if it is stated up front - "I need some jobs doing but I'll cook you a lovely meal in return"

But it's another if you bait and switch by inviting people to your home for a meal and then producing a list of jobs you want doing - my MIL produced a list of DIY jobs once on Christmas Day - after we shopped and cooked the meal - I wasn't impressed

That's awful Lunde especially at Christmas which is meant to be a relaxing day (even if you are hosting) but not doing DIY

@Hoplesscynic I can't remember what was said we just left. I assumed at first maybe we had it wrong and we were not invited for lunch, but after checking the texts they definitely said why don't you come over for lunch. We don't bother with them much anymore, they can be lovely but we've had to many CF moments with them that have made us back off. We maybe see them once or twice a year now, usually at a place they have arranged and will still find something to complain about.

Re the godparents I’d just send a calm text back saying ‘oh I assumed you’d rather we didn’t exchange gifts and just spent some quality time together instead as you haven’t sent x anything’. Not sure why you put up with these CFs OP.

I have not responded at all so far. And tbh I don;t want to suggest we spend any quality time together!!

I am going to ignore it for now. I tend to need to sit on things for a bit and consider. But in times gone past I would have twisted myself into knots making excuses for them and I can[t be arsed now which respresents a fairly major development for myself!!