Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Do I give away all DCs Christmas Presents?

228 replies

OpenedPresents · 21/12/2022 14:16

I won’t but it’s so tempting as punishment

All presents where wrapped and put in my wardrobe apart from Santa presents which are in the shed. I don’t put any presents under the tree until Christmas Eve apart from the ones that DC is given by school/activities.

DC is 7. I do it because they can’t be trusted to not open them.

I went for a shower and DC went into my room, as in opened my closed bedroom door, and has opened 2 presents. I thought they were on their tablet in the living room.

I’ve taken the stuff away and they won’t be getting it as punishment but I hadn’t got them much this year due to money being tight and they opened their main present from me.

I don’t want to have to get a lock for my door, DC never normally comes into my room, even at night if they wake up/are ill, they knock and I take them back to their room and deal with them there (they have a pull out bed so I can still be nearby if they need me) - it's always been the way.

Santa only buys 1 present and the stocking here, the stocking is done by my parents and delivered after DC is in bed on Christmas Eve (they do this for all 3 of their grandchildren and my own grandparents used to do mine, even when I no longer believed they still delivered them once I was asleep on CE)

So what do I do now? I can’t afford anymore presents for them as I don’t get paid again until 27th December. They’ll now have about 3 things under the tree from me on Christmas Eve and it feels pathetic or is that the consequence? They won’t care as ExH spends loads on them at Christmas so it’s even worse.

OP posts:
endlesswinter · 21/12/2022 15:21

I have never gone to great lengths to hide presents.
If dc want to look they can, but then don't have a surprise.
Their choice.

Currently teen dc's presents are under a blanket in my bedroom, I've no idea if they looked.

BasiliskStare · 21/12/2022 15:22

To be fair I think @OpenedPresents specifically said she would not not give the DC's present - just felt like it.

One more point OP I once hid Ds's present so cleverly I was up until 3 am on Christmas Eve / Day trying to find it. I would have gladly got him out of bed with his present finding skills to help me if it had gone on any longer. 😊

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 21/12/2022 15:22

I'm with you but with everyone else as well!

As mum's we just want it perfect and when the kid ruins it...well, it's hard to not find that upsetting.

I would just have a stern word that he's ruined his own Christmas surprise now, hopefully he won't do it next year.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Christmas Events & celebrations General shopping
SummerHouse · 21/12/2022 15:22

Don't compare with ex. There is no joy in that. Comparison is the thief of joy. Forgot present opening gate and work on remembering you are a good mum, you are doing your best with what you have, DC will have a lovely Christmas. Because Christmas, just maybe, means a little bit more than piles of gifts. I am misquoting the Grinch now but you get the idea.

This is not about what DC did but your fear that they won't get enough on Christmas day. They absolutely will.

FadedRed · 21/12/2022 15:25

You need to hide them away, somewhere much safer than you have been doing.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 21/12/2022 15:27

I wouldn't re-wrap them. Just put them under the tree. Your child still gets their present and will learn that they ruin the surprise for themselves when they do this.

My brother used to unwrap mine, not his. Little toad! Grin

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 21/12/2022 15:27

FadedRed · 21/12/2022 15:25

You need to hide them away, somewhere much safer than you have been doing.

Easy to say when you have no idea what her home is like? I'm sure she hid them as well as was possible.

Newnamenewname109870 · 21/12/2022 15:28

She’s a young child, seriously. Don’t do this. Why expect a kid to have better skills than lots of adults at resisting temptation.

anyolddinosaur · 21/12/2022 15:28

wrap up a lump of coal and tell them that was from Santa. They still get your presents but nothing from Santa except the stocking. And dont rewrap the presents, make it clear that he's been naughty.

thelobsterquadrille · 21/12/2022 15:29

I don't think there are many children alive who have never peeked into the Christmas presents! I remember doing it several times Grin

It's fine - the consequence is there are less surprises under the tree.

fancyacuppatea · 21/12/2022 15:29

Hmm...difficult for me to be judgemental.
I found a Muppets annual under my parents bed - that's when the penny dropped that He wasn't real. Xmas Grin
Thing is, I was allowed in their room as mine was really tiny and my clothes were in a chest of drawers in their room.

A few years later, I realised that the keys to my Grans china cabinet (which my Dad now had) also opened the wardrobe in (my old box room) the spare room...which is where my presents were hidden.
I managed to sneak a look a few years times, before my Mum sussed it and took all the bloody keys and hid them. 🤦‍♀️
In my defence - I have never, and will never, like surprises. I cannot pretend if I don't like something - my face is very uncooperative. 😒

OP, I'd just give DC what's left. Don't buy anything else - sounds like their Disney Dad will overcompensate anyway.

TheLadyOfHay · 21/12/2022 15:29

i found, opened and played the David Cassidy LP my mum was giving me for Christmas when I was about 11 or 12. I didn’t get caught and didn’t tell her for years. She was still cross with me even many years later

Hugasauras · 21/12/2022 15:29

Yeah I understand the immediate reaction but really it's understandable and I think it is a lot of impulse control for a young child not to peek. DD keeps having to be reminded and we've had a couple of 'incidents' where a bit of paper has 'come loose' on gifts under the tree Grin Just rewrap and put them under the tree again and don't stress about it.

diddl · 21/12/2022 15:36

thelobsterquadrille · 21/12/2022 15:29

I don't think there are many children alive who have never peeked into the Christmas presents! I remember doing it several times Grin

It's fine - the consequence is there are less surprises under the tree.

Ikr!

Once you know that FC doesn't magically deliver them whilst you're asleep...

Natural consequences here-no need to do anything!

aSofaNearYou · 21/12/2022 15:38

Definitely don't buy them anymore, and I probably wouldn't wrap them again as the point of wrapping is that they don't know what's in it. Let them feel that it's more boring now that they've spoiled their surprise

PatchworkElmer · 21/12/2022 15:38

I’d still give him the gifts but unwrapped- he’s already unwrapped them, so that’s a natural consequence

Andsoforth · 21/12/2022 15:43

They’re over excited and impulsive because…Christmas.

You’re over reacting because …. well, bloody Christmas.

Read the riot act, then let it go and pour yourself a nice big Baileys. 🎄

Tinselpipes · 21/12/2022 15:43

This seems quite straightforward - you rewrap the presents and they go under the tree as planned. Child will miss out on the surprise element, great natural consequence. Obviously explain to them now that we don't unwrap presents until they've been given. He's only 7, no need for dramatics or punishments.

FourTeaFallOut · 21/12/2022 15:45

PatchworkElmer · 21/12/2022 15:38

I’d still give him the gifts but unwrapped- he’s already unwrapped them, so that’s a natural consequence

Sometimes these gentle parenting techniques come across as passive aggressive.

There's really no need to drive the point home like this.

DannydeVitooo · 21/12/2022 15:48

This is really strange to me because I never ever had this and I can’t even be helpful and tell you why I thought I didn’t, but none of my children ever opened a Christmas present and we put them out quite early.

I wonder if it’s down to the certain Childs impulsivity or how much Christmas is hyped up in the family? Sorry I can’t be more helpful but it’s quite interesting

WonderingWanda · 21/12/2022 15:49

Go easy on them, a 7 year old excited about Christmas unwrapped a present. Hardly the crime of the century. I'm a keen follower of rules now and never go hunting for my presents, I don't steal etc but did some questionable things as a young child including pinching sweets, eating party food before the guests had arrived that had been laid out, running away and so on. Kids don't always get it right.

Ideasideas · 21/12/2022 15:50

I can still remember my brother pulling the loft ladder down as soon as my parents were out and then hollering down what gifts they had bought me for Christmas. We were 9 and 11. It's a happy memory of mine.

Tinselpipes · 21/12/2022 15:51

DannydeVitooo · 21/12/2022 15:48

This is really strange to me because I never ever had this and I can’t even be helpful and tell you why I thought I didn’t, but none of my children ever opened a Christmas present and we put them out quite early.

I wonder if it’s down to the certain Childs impulsivity or how much Christmas is hyped up in the family? Sorry I can’t be more helpful but it’s quite interesting

If you put presents out early I can guarantee paper will have been carefully peeled back when you're not in the room

itsgettingweird · 21/12/2022 15:52

I'm actually quite appalled that a number of people think this is normal 7yo behaviour.

Snooping to find them hidden is normal.

Waiting until mum is in a bath and opening is not.

But I do think he'll be punished naturally if you take them away and just give him what's left.

Don't mention the ones you've removed. And if his birthday is in the next few months wrap them up for him and give them to him then.

And don't worry about what's at dads house. Kids learn soon enough what truly matters in life. And none of it is materialistic.

Goldpaw · 21/12/2022 15:54

I'd put the unwrapped pressies out with the others.

They still get them, but can see how boring it is when they're just there and have already been unwrapped.