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Original poster

Yummy mummy or scummy mummy?

96 replies

SweetRascal · 20/12/2022 00:18

I look at other mums who look so well turned out, neat, tidy and manicured. I feel more like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards! It's not that I yearn to be a yummy mummy but I do wonder how and where they find the time. Or is that self care just a priority for them.

I definitely am more scummy mummy. I have a 1 and 4 year old. The 4 year old has sen. I work part time in education and have other family responsibilities.

I wash my hair twice a week. Give it a quick brush in the morning and that's it. I don't wear make up and wouldn't have the time tbh. The one year old likes to spread her food around so often I end up wearing it. I never wear matching socks. My clothes are years and years old. My skin is not great. Dry hands, ache rosacea.

It's not that I massively care about all these things. My children, dh, family, home, work, etc are my priorities and that's where my time goes. I'm just intrigued I guess how the yummy mummy's out there do it?

OP posts:
dontgobaconmyheart · 20/12/2022 02:40

Those terms are so awful, both of them.

Presumably the answer lies in the fact that people's lives vary hugely in terms of support (financial and practical), how involved the men they choose to be with actually are, how much energy they have for whatever reason, how healthy a person happens to be and the limitations a lack of good health or mobility (mental or physical) puts on a person. Not everyone is interested in beauty or fashion, but others are and that's therefore going to be a first priority once childcare needs are met. There's nothing wrong with wanting to wear makeup or dress well when you're a mother, and there's nothing wrong with feeling comfortable and not wanting to either. Neither way around affects how good of a parent you are or who you are as a person.

lennolin · 20/12/2022 02:46

There's time if you want to look good like other mums might. I'm like you not really into fashion and cba with making much of an effort, but time is how you make it. Doesn't mean a Mum who puts it effort with looks doesn't put effort in other areas. Everyone's different x

MrsTerryPratchett · 20/12/2022 02:50

Those terms are so awful, both of them.

This.

Are there awful terms for 'daddies'? No? Shock

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VintageVest · 20/12/2022 02:54

I have two young kids and my look is very low maintenance at present. If I found it really important to look groomed I suppose I could get out of bed a bit earlier and spend more time on my appearance. There are always other more pressing or interesting things to do. Some people do find it more important though, so will make time in their day for it.

Fireandflight · 20/12/2022 02:55

I don't think they are awful terms. Yummy mummy has been around for years and the OP has just used her creativity and come up with a rhyming term, to describe what she sees as an opposite.

Danikm151 · 20/12/2022 02:58

I went to a Christmas party at work and a few people didn’t recognise me… genuinely walked up and introduced themselves 😂
I scrub up very well apparently

As long as I’m clean, I don’t care about makeup and looking fancy. The time it takes to get ready is just too much effort unless it’s a special occasion

Beezknees · 20/12/2022 06:16

Just depends on your priorities. I've been a single parent ever since DS was born and I always liked to wear makeup and look decent. I used to get up at 5am to get ready. There is no magic formula, you just make time if it really is important to you, if it's not then don't worry.

Original poster
SweetRascal · 20/12/2022 07:24

Fireandflight · 20/12/2022 02:55

I don't think they are awful terms. Yummy mummy has been around for years and the OP has just used her creativity and come up with a rhyming term, to describe what she sees as an opposite.

Yep, that's it. I just went for a catchy title.

OP posts:
Original poster
SweetRascal · 20/12/2022 07:26

VintageVest · 20/12/2022 02:54

I have two young kids and my look is very low maintenance at present. If I found it really important to look groomed I suppose I could get out of bed a bit earlier and spend more time on my appearance. There are always other more pressing or interesting things to do. Some people do find it more important though, so will make time in their day for it.

@VintageVest yes, that's true. I would prefer to sleep than get up earlier to do a bit of grooming.

OP posts:
IhearyouClemFandango · 20/12/2022 07:29

Depends on your stage of life I guess. I mean, all of your priorities are the same as mine, but I slot in 5 minutes of make up and a wash every day as well.

SockGoddess · 20/12/2022 07:39

Well there’s Disney dad, which is kind of worse although it’s not about appearance.

I have no idea how any mum with small kids can be super glossy and well turned out - but I can only guess that they have some help or it’s just very important to them so they prioritise it. I’ve always been on the scruffier end of the scale but both are fine. Things like this can help you gravitate towards people you’ll get on with. No one should feel bad about where they fall on this scale.

PrincePrecious · 20/12/2022 07:41

Why wear odd socks? Buy some hand cream, some new clothes and pair your socks.

Stayingstrongish · 20/12/2022 07:55

I co-parent with two small kids (2 and 6). Not super glossy, but the days I have them I manage to have a shower and do make up, inbetween running about trying to get them ready. Make up takes me about 3 mins - concealer, blusher, mascara, eyeliner.

I think having some easy outfits and a good coat you can throw over the top helps.

LucyAnn35 · 20/12/2022 07:56

I wouldn't say I'm a yummy mummy but being clean and looking good is something I always make time for, pre kids and with kids. I feel better about myself and more confident and it doesn't take a lot of time.

Stayingstrongish · 20/12/2022 07:57

Dry hands gets me down so I keep cream by my bed I can quickly squirt on. I buy this with the weekly food shop. Same for basics like socks and tights.

MintJulia · 20/12/2022 07:57

I'm more single working mummy than yummy mummy (horrible phrase) but keeping it simple is the key. And prepping clothes the night before.

It take 30 seconds to wash my hair in the shower and another 30 to dry it. I have short straight hair so low maintenance. Cleanse, tone & moisturise skin, apply eyes, brows and a quick bit of lip gloss takes another 5.

So morning routine/shower takes no more than 10 minutes but does my self esteem no end of good.

Some of my clothes are old but good quality (pre-dcs). I sew on missing buttons, sort out pulled threads or repair hems at the weekend while I sort ds's clothes. Get shoes reheeled on Saturday food run, polish shoes on Sunday nights.

Routines and making lists of things that need doing help me. And a bit of attention to detail.

roarfeckingroarr · 20/12/2022 08:01

A lot is luck and genes.

If you're slim with thick hair and good skin, you don't need much more than a shower and a hairbrush to look groomed.

Fancylike · 20/12/2022 08:06

Maybe they are better with time management or have higher energy levels than you, have good skin/hair so don’t need a lot of help to look polished, know what clothing styles look good on them so stick to buying pieces in those cuts every season, has a partner who does their fair share or more of child care.

Doesn’t mean they prioritize their children or family any less than you, just that you judge them as looking more put together than you and assume that takes them extra time.

felixthefox · 20/12/2022 08:13

I do think it can depend on family circumstances (DH wfh starting at 9am vs DH working out of the house starting at 6am for example. Also sahm vs having to leave for work looking presentable). However priorities are also a factor, 15mo is currently occupied with some toys and I could probably have a quick shower or straighten my hair but I am choosing to finish my coffee while it’s still hot.

I don’t look awful, but my look is pretty low maintenance during the week. I can spend a bit more time on weekends as DH is around in the mornings.

stevalnamechanger · 20/12/2022 08:16

Dermatica for the skin ! Google it

MrsJBaptiste · 20/12/2022 08:20

It depends on priorities. You've said you'd prefer to stay in bed than look groomed - I used to get up half an hour earlier than the kids to have a shower, do my hair and make up.

The same as those of us who get up at 6am to go to the gym - others say they'd rather stay in bed.

Each to their own as long as you then don't moan about looking scruffy or being unfit when you don't want to put in the effort.

Not saying YOU specifically and it also depends on circumstances and how old your kids are, etc.

SquishyGloopyBum · 20/12/2022 08:29

You have a H, does he not help you? I bet he manages to wash his hair every day.

LondonJax · 20/12/2022 08:45

I wouldn't say I've ever been a yummy mummy (more like a yum yum, pass the cake mummy which makes everything I wear look like a sack!)

But, I never went out without a slick of eyeshadow and my hair is always clean. I got into the habit of having a shower when DH got home as he'd take control of DS then. So I'd wash my hair, blow dry and be down within 15 minutes or so.

I used to moisturise my face at night after brushing my teeth so that, if I had an early start with DS, at least my skin had a bit of TLC once a day (I had rosacea too - Soolantra got rid of it. It's very sore so I sympathise OP).

I'd sort out clothes just before I got into bed so I had something clean.

Basically I just turned my normal day on its head and did everything in the evening for five years. Once DS was at school it was easier. He got so used to me popping him in front of the TV whilst I quickly put my eye shadow on that he used to pass me the brush and colour I'd decided on - I always told him he'd be a make up artist when he got older!

So it is doable - just not always at the time that you used to do it.

Snoken · 20/12/2022 08:50

I have always made it a priority to look well groomed. I have also always (up until quite recently) worked in professional environments where I have to look well put together and I couldn't come into work with unwashed hair and stained clothes. My kids are older now, but they are a year and a half apart, but even in the baby/toddler years I got up, had a shower, blow dried my hair and put makeup on, every day. This was before I woke the kids up at around 6.30/7 to get to nursery/breakfast club.

I have had periods of not working too when we have relocated and it's taken me some months to find work again, but even then I had the same routine.

QueenofLouisiana · 20/12/2022 08:54

Look, one thing at a time. Is the rosacea being treated? (I have acne rosacea so this stood out to be.) If not, get done soolantra from the GP or it can be got through a private prescription. Put it on clean skin every night. By February your skin will look (and feel) much better. Seriously, I’ve found it changed the way I feel about myself.
Now my skin is clear, my make up takes 5 minutes, not 25. I shower at night, keep hand and foot cream by the bed.
Im not exactly groomed, but look professional every day.

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