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Original poster

Is friend a CF?

132 replies

Christmascarolina · 19/12/2022 23:19

I have a DM friend who has little disposable money (although lives in a big house, private school etc). I help as much as I can - always pass on my DD’s clothes for her younger child, pay when we have coffee and also support her business by buying things every so often.

Every school holiday we always agree that we’ll help each other out by taking each other’s DD for the day. Her DD duly comes over and stays for a sleepover, but then my friend “forgets” and says let’s go together to X, Y or Z for return visit. So we go out together (usually with me paying).

I have no GPs who can help, so a day to sort stuff in the holidays would be so so helpful. But she’s always vague or can’t commit when I remind her.

Plus I’ve just found out she charges me more than the usual rate when I buy from her business, so I feel a bit used.

This holiday I deliberately didn’t commit to a day for her DD coming over, and she’s just text begging me to have her for the day on Christmas Eve. I want to say no, but am I being mean, the girls are friends and get on well.

OP posts:
Pterrydactyl · 20/12/2022 23:26

She does sound like she’s using you, OP.
Glad you’ve said no to Christmas Eve.

I know that having a big house and educating children privately does reduce the disposable income available for days out, children’s clothes, etc, but surely if she’s able to keep her children in private school she can’t be doing that badly?

As an aside, even if she was reciprocating the days out and giving you mates rates for her business, it’d still be ok to say no to having her DD on Christmas Eve at such short notice. Any reasonable person would know it’s likely that people will already have plans for that day.

Schnooze · 21/12/2022 00:10

She is indeed a CF.

MysteryBelle · 21/12/2022 00:45

She charges you more than her regular prices? That alone should tell you to drop her. She’s not your friend. She uses you to babysit her child and she uses you for pay her way and for food and drink etc and she uses you to overcharge you. And nothing in return. She is vile. Seek out genuine friendships.

Yfory · 21/12/2022 00:51

Im intrigued at what her business is - she sounds a lot like an MLMer.
Total cf of a person op. Definitely not a friend of yours.

AppleandSpice · 21/12/2022 00:59

shes one of those people who are out for all they can get and offer nothing in return. I’ll bet my bottom dollar on the fact that she’s probably not short of money but in fact is just tight and thinks the world owes her a living.

Ive come across many of those types in the past.

Stop Helping her out, keep saying no and see if she’s still around in six months when she realises that you are of no value to her. They don’t tend to hang around for long and will move onto the next victim they see as an easy target!

LikeTearsInRain · 21/12/2022 01:06

Im glad you’ve now realised it’s time to grab the bar of soap and start scrubbing off the word MUG thats on your forehead

Hope the situation improves for you. Or at the very least if contact dries up, you don’t have to worry about it anymore

Sceptre86 · 21/12/2022 05:40

I find it hard to believe this post. Not sure anyone could really be this naiive. She isn't a friend. Stop paying for a person that has more money than you. The kids are friends, doesn't mean you need to be. Be frank with her , you've got no support so can't have her dd every holidays when she won't reciprocate Learn to be firm because she will pushback as she's been using you for ages.

Amyyyyyyyy · 21/12/2022 07:49

What's a CF?? Sorry if that's a stupid question!

strawberry2017 · 21/12/2022 07:58

I'm sorry OP it must be awful to realise your thoughts are valid and that someone you thought was a friend really is taking the piss.

StClare101 · 21/12/2022 08:19

This can’t possibly be real. No one is this much of a mug.

Norma27 · 21/12/2022 08:19

Amyyyyyyyy · 21/12/2022 07:49

What's a CF?? Sorry if that's a stupid question!

CF is cheeky fucker

LolaMoon · 21/12/2022 08:22

Shinyandnew1 · 19/12/2022 23:21

Why would you feel the need to ‘help out wherever you can’ someone who lives in a big house and sends their child to private school?

This. For goodness sake, someone who lives in a big house and send their kid to private school is not struggling. Why on earth would you think that or believe it? You are being taken for a mug here- wake up and smell the coffee before she convinces you to start a gofundme. Blimey.

Amyyyyyyyy · 21/12/2022 08:30

Ah I see. Well she's definitely a CF then!

Pterrydactyl · 21/12/2022 08:32

LolaMoon · 21/12/2022 08:22

This. For goodness sake, someone who lives in a big house and send their kid to private school is not struggling. Why on earth would you think that or believe it? You are being taken for a mug here- wake up and smell the coffee before she convinces you to start a gofundme. Blimey.

Show quote history

Well, it’s possible for someone to have overextended themselves financially with a big house and private schooling, and to be struggling to keep up with it.

But there’s an obvious solution to that problem. And that obvious solution is not sponging off generous friends.

Onebelow · 21/12/2022 11:07

She lives in a big house and sends her kids to private schools? She’s not skint. Wake up. She’s absolutely not skint. Tell her no, you can’t have her, sorry you’re busy that day, it’s Christmas Eve. Charging you more than she charges the public?! This is messed up. Sounds like she’s totally taking the p*ss out of you tbh.

BryanAdamsLeftAnkle · 21/12/2022 12:43

Op isn't coming back. She's likely going to take the child for the day and drop her off and pick her up.

gamerchick · 21/12/2022 12:59

BryanAdamsLeftAnkle · 21/12/2022 12:43

Op isn't coming back. She's likely going to take the child for the day and drop her off and pick her up.

Eh, did you miss the update.

BryanAdamsLeftAnkle · 21/12/2022 13:05

Oh bugger. I must have. Off to find it. My app isn't highlighting names. So I haven't seen.

Bonheurdupasse · 21/12/2022 13:06

gamerchick · 21/12/2022 12:59

Eh, did you miss the update.

Show quote history

Unfortunately it's still possible that she was guilt tripped / reeled back in...those people have a knack for that.

OP - if you feel being pushed, please come back to this thread, you will have a lot of moral support to help strengthen your resolve!

gamerchick · 21/12/2022 13:06

It's on the first page. All is well Grin

Michellelovesizzy · 21/12/2022 17:54

Not ur friend op

Scarriff · 21/12/2022 18:11

Can I just add I had a similar friend who saw me as a free childminder. I saw what she did, but our children were friends and I didn't really mind. Everyone was more comfortable at my house anyway. I was kind of surprised to realise I expected her to be grateful and she wasn't. My advice would be to have her child over if it suits you and your daughter, and to expect nothing in return. Do not buy anything from her and definitely do not pay for her days out.

NannaKaren · 21/12/2022 18:11

Yea she IS!

IncompleteSenten · 21/12/2022 18:16

Yes she is.

People take the piss for as long as you let them.

FairFuming · 21/12/2022 18:26

Definitely a CF! I think you need to try distance yourself from her. How did you find out she over charges you?