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Original poster

Is friend a CF?

132 replies

Christmascarolina · 19/12/2022 23:19

I have a DM friend who has little disposable money (although lives in a big house, private school etc). I help as much as I can - always pass on my DD’s clothes for her younger child, pay when we have coffee and also support her business by buying things every so often.

Every school holiday we always agree that we’ll help each other out by taking each other’s DD for the day. Her DD duly comes over and stays for a sleepover, but then my friend “forgets” and says let’s go together to X, Y or Z for return visit. So we go out together (usually with me paying).

I have no GPs who can help, so a day to sort stuff in the holidays would be so so helpful. But she’s always vague or can’t commit when I remind her.

Plus I’ve just found out she charges me more than the usual rate when I buy from her business, so I feel a bit used.

This holiday I deliberately didn’t commit to a day for her DD coming over, and she’s just text begging me to have her for the day on Christmas Eve. I want to say no, but am I being mean, the girls are friends and get on well.

OP posts:
uncomfortablydumb53 · 20/12/2022 17:24

She's using you I'm glad you've seen that now
She is no friend

SippingSangriaInMyHead · 20/12/2022 17:31

I wouldn’t even call that person a friend, she’s a user.

Yesthatismychildsigh · 20/12/2022 18:00

Bloody hell. Grow a spine, of course she’s a CF. She’s not your friend, she’s using you in many ways. And you’re letting her.

Dello · 20/12/2022 21:52

At this point I think you should only have her child over to play
. if you /your child wants a play date
. at a time that suits you
so no to providing all day childcare on Christmas Eve!

Figgygal · 20/12/2022 22:12

Maaaaaasive cf
And to ask you to have her dd on xmas eve is a total liberty

Welshmonster · 20/12/2022 22:19

You don’t even need to say no as such. Just say I already have plans that day. And byeeeeee

pippinsleftleg · 20/12/2022 22:21

Shinyandnew1 · 19/12/2022 23:21

Why would you feel the need to ‘help out wherever you can’ someone who lives in a big house and sends their child to private school?

This!

Allsnotwell · 20/12/2022 22:21

The thing with ‘plans’ (I mean who doesn’t have plans with their own children Christmas Eve ffs!) is she’ll take it as not now rather than a return the favour’

I’d just say ‘no can’t do that this time’.

GhostBridezilla · 20/12/2022 22:22

You also need to confront on why she charges you extra

Welshmonster · 20/12/2022 22:24

I need to know what the business is!!! Let her go in front of you at coffee shop and pay for herself or just say it’s your shout as I paid the last 100 times.

maybe she has no money as the partner controls it all but then I would not rely on my mates to help me out like that. I wouldn’t go for coffee or because I am poor I go to the pub and get a glass of tap water as I can’t afford rounds.

billy1966 · 20/12/2022 22:28

BMW6 · 19/12/2022 23:52

Oh OP how can you not have realised that you are absolutely being taken for a total mug??

Why the fuck are you paying for her when she
is obviously bloody loaded! Or if they are cash poor they are not spending wisely and you are subsidising their financial mismanagement?

Be Kind does not mean Be Stupid.

Op,

Could she possibly rip you off in many more ways?

She uses you for childcare.

Blags your childs old cloths.

You pay for outings.

She rips you off when you support her business.

Now you know why she lives in a big house and privately educates her children.

She rips off friends

Utterly vile.

I would rather be utterly friendless than have scum like that in my life.

Have a good hard think about your boundaries and self respect.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 20/12/2022 22:28

Big house and private school? She is totally taking the piss.

Really glad you have seen the light.

Eddielizzard · 20/12/2022 22:28

Yes she is royally taking you for a ride. Invite her DD over on your terms, if your DD asks for a playdate. But otherwise, she is absolutely taking advantage.

LovelyRachel · 20/12/2022 22:28

This is so blatantly CF - it sounds like Motherland!

Christmas Eve is quite special to me so I'd tell her you've already made plans and sorry you cannot help this year 😊

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 20/12/2022 22:29

She probably flogs your second-hand kids clothes on eBay too. Have you ever see her younger child wearing them?

BatshitBanshee · 20/12/2022 22:47

Jesus Op, can you be my friend?!

Seriously though, I don't know how many other ways your friend can be a CF. How did you come to know she charges you more? Stop spending anything on her; time and money.

And who the fuck is trying to pawn off their kid on Christmas Eve?!

Wrongsideofpennines · 20/12/2022 22:47

Regardless of anything else, she charges you more than usual for her business which is totally taking advantage.

Say no to having her daughter and ask her why she charges you more than the going rate.

Winter2019 · 20/12/2022 22:49

Op, you sound lovely even though a bit of a mug, sorry... she's not your friend!!! And what's with charging you more 🙈

KAYMACK · 20/12/2022 22:55

Christmascarolina · 19/12/2022 23:19

I have a DM friend who has little disposable money (although lives in a big house, private school etc). I help as much as I can - always pass on my DD’s clothes for her younger child, pay when we have coffee and also support her business by buying things every so often.

Every school holiday we always agree that we’ll help each other out by taking each other’s DD for the day. Her DD duly comes over and stays for a sleepover, but then my friend “forgets” and says let’s go together to X, Y or Z for return visit. So we go out together (usually with me paying).

I have no GPs who can help, so a day to sort stuff in the holidays would be so so helpful. But she’s always vague or can’t commit when I remind her.

Plus I’ve just found out she charges me more than the usual rate when I buy from her business, so I feel a bit used.

This holiday I deliberately didn’t commit to a day for her DD coming over, and she’s just text begging me to have her for the day on Christmas Eve. I want to say no, but am I being mean, the girls are friends and get on well.

I honestly have to say I do not understand this post.

What on earth is a CF?

GPs usually mean doctors. Is the poster unaware of this?

LeopardPrintHo · 20/12/2022 22:59

CF is a cheeky fucker

GP's - grandparents

Allsnotwell · 20/12/2022 23:01

KAYMACK

Any need to post the whole OP? Opening post - if you are unaware.

skilpadde · 20/12/2022 23:02

*I honestly have to say I do not understand this post.

What on earth is a CF?

GPs usually mean doctors. Is the poster unaware of this?*

I'm guessing you're new here. Most forums will have their own lingo /abbreviations, and most people will either loiter to figure out the lingo or politely ask what these terms mean, rather than suggest a poster doesn't know what she's talking about.

CF means cheeky fucker.

GP, in this context, means grandparents.

HTH.

Letthesunshineonin · 20/12/2022 23:02

Jesus Christ OP. Come on. She is massively taking the piss. She’s nasty, very nasty and no friend to you. Bloody user.

aloris · 20/12/2022 23:09

Say no. Why should your Christmas Eve be made more difficult? This is someone who charges you MORE than usual and pretends that you funding her and her daughter for a day out somehow counts as her doing a return favor for you having her daughter over for a sleepover. Wha?

pleasehelpwi3 · 20/12/2022 23:17

I'd have 'little disposable income' if I spent all my money on buying a racehorse, vintage Chanel bags and Swiss finishing school for my child. It would be my own fault.

Your so called friend is a user and you are enabling her to live beyond her means by providing free childcare. Put yourself first. This isn't a quid pro quo, it's a pisstake. The fact your children get on is neither here nor there.