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Original poster

Breastfeeding in front of my parents

107 replies

Squiff70 · 18/12/2022 08:04

Tell me I'm being stupid.

My son is 4 months old and breast fed. My parents will be with us for Christnas and I really don't want to have to leave the comfort of my own living room and family every time he's hungry.

I've never had a problem breastfeeding in public but manage to do it discreetly. I'm still at the stage though that at times I need to see what in doing to get him to have a good latch.

I feel awkward breastfeeding in front of my parents. Well, my dad. They haven't met their grandson yet so never seen me breastfeed. I realise this is entirely my issue but how can I get over this hurdle?

OP posts:

RunningFromInsanity · 18/12/2022 08:06

I wouldn’t breastfeed in front of my Dad personally.

TofuonToast · 18/12/2022 08:07

Oh I had this. I get it! I think I just left the room tbh. In hindsight I wish I hadn’t. Can you turn your back whilst baby latches? Have a muslin for a quick cover if needed?

BCxx · 18/12/2022 08:07

I felt the exact same, I know plenty of people do and I’m sure your dad will feel more awkward than you and make a big point not to look. I just know the way I am, I could never do it and I’d need to go and sit upstairs

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00100001 · 18/12/2022 08:08

I just cracked on, if they didn't like it, they would have to leave.

Dad never said a word tbf.

BeastOfBODMAS · 18/12/2022 08:08

The first time, you say “I’m about to feed the baby. Anyone who is uncomfortable is welcome to go and put the kettle on”
Done hide out of the way in our own home!

blebbleb · 18/12/2022 08:08

You could just leave the room to latch and come back, then use a cape or muslin if you're uncomfortable.

RemindMeAgain · 18/12/2022 08:09

I did it once, they couldn’t see anything but I think everyone found it a bit uncomfortable so I never did it anymore.

MassiveSalad22 · 18/12/2022 08:09

Yeah I felt the same. Even in front of my mum, she isnt very close/touchy feely sadly. I just did it anyway but was awks. Leave if you want to!

Lightmarebeforechristmas · 18/12/2022 08:09

I breastfed in front of my dad and FIL. I made sure I was covered up, have you got a nursing cover?

Once you have done it once it will be fine, what would you do if you went out for a meal with them? Leave the table and go to the toilets?

Maybe it and if it’s not working / you hate it then you can move else where but I would try it first

Cwcwbird · 18/12/2022 08:09

I just did it, my mum had breast fed so it wasn't as if he hadn't seen anyone breast feeding before. I assume he would have made an excuse to leave the room if he felt awkward.

Could you drape a muslin over you while you latch?

MintJulia · 18/12/2022 08:10

Just make sure your bedroom is warm and has a screen and a drink/snacks.

KangarooKenny · 18/12/2022 08:11

I used to put a blanket/sheet around us so no one could see.

OutofControl3 · 18/12/2022 08:11

Just feed infront of people no one will bat a eyelid and its just nature surely they know ur breastfeeding just carry on conversation. Iv done infront of any family member, in a school hall and yeah basically in public.

OutofControl3 · 18/12/2022 08:13

Do not go in other rooms people may think their just gettin in the way and how many times a little baba feeds youl be bath n forth the whole time.

RudsyFarmer · 18/12/2022 08:13

Yeah I never did that. I’d position myself in such a way that no one could see. To be fair he REALLY didn’t want to see either so probably disappeared off himself.

AliMonkey · 18/12/2022 08:13

Perhaps remind yourself that he’s almost certainly seen you naked eg changed your nappy or in the bath so it’s nothing he’s not seen before!

Personally I was happy feeding (discreetly) anywhere and in front of anyone, including on a park bench, in church, at a funeral …

weinerdog · 18/12/2022 08:14

Literally just leave the room. Just say 'checking the oven' and come back with the baby patched. That is all you have to do. Wear a dressing gown or something to wrap up in.

ABrotherWhoLooksLikeHellMugYou · 18/12/2022 08:15

I agree with asking your dad to go pop the kettle on while you get set up, then crack on. The more you do it the less weird it'll get. Before you know it you'll be comfortable feeding without issues.

You can always ask DP/DH to engage your dad in conversation while you get settled too. When it comes down to it babies need to be fed and you shouldn't have to make yourself invisible to do it. Good luck.

Hopefully soon you'll be able to get him latched without so much input which will also help.

MachineBee · 18/12/2022 08:18

Could you speak to your DM and see if she can help? Things like making your DDad aware you are nervous about BF in front of him.

They may surprise you and be very encouraging. My DDad was a medic and used to tell anyone who would listen how well I was doing as BF was good for baby.

BuffaloCauliflower · 18/12/2022 08:18

You get to choose where it’s best for you to feed, and you definitely shouldn’t feel like you have to leave the room to feed (though sometimes it’s a great excuse to sneak off for some quiet time if you need it)
I think this is one of those things where once you’ve done it a few times l it’ll seem much easier, you’re not doing anything wrong or bad you’re just feeding your baby in a normal, natural way. I felt a bit like this with my FIL but he was actually really supportive when it came to it, and I didn’t feel uncomfortable at all. Some good breastfeeding clothes can make it easier, like these tops, really nothing shows. Maybe an option while you adjust?

Smallshow Women's Viscose Nursing Tops Maternity Long Sleeve Breastfeeding Shirts amzn.eu/d/5jTtvnr

CCIH · 18/12/2022 08:19

I had/ have the exact same problem! I use a blanket so no one can see anything but is it a bit awkward, but I think it's better than missing out on everything by having to constantly leave the room. I think once you've done it a few times the awkwardness will go

CharlotteCollinsneeLucas · 18/12/2022 08:20

If your DS is 4mo, is he at the stage of wanting to turn round and see what's going on during feeding? If he is, that's awkward. Otherwise, cover up (or don't) and on you go. It's really not obvious unless you're looking from above (or have an unbuttoned shirt) anyway.

Baconand · 18/12/2022 08:20

I just got on with it. I fed anywhere and everywhere.

Lullabies2Paralyze · 18/12/2022 08:20

I know your feeling and I’m wondering the same for when mine come over for tea at Christmas, I might end up going upstairs under pretence of changing nappy or something (he’s 9 month so won’t need it as often as yours anyway).

my FIL always politely leaves the room or looks away until I’m done, my dad I’ve not had to do much in front of but it’s actually my mam I feel awkward in front of as I get the impression from things she’s said that she’d rather I used a cover while doing it and I don’t, and I’m not about to start using one considering I want to stop BF (at least day time) once he turns 1.

quietnightmare · 18/12/2022 08:22

Tie a Muslin around your neck with a bobble and out baby in the boob underneath. Leave a gap big enough around your neck so you can look through the gap

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