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Original poster

Breastfeeding in front of my parents

107 replies

Squiff70 · 18/12/2022 08:04

Tell me I'm being stupid.

My son is 4 months old and breast fed. My parents will be with us for Christnas and I really don't want to have to leave the comfort of my own living room and family every time he's hungry.

I've never had a problem breastfeeding in public but manage to do it discreetly. I'm still at the stage though that at times I need to see what in doing to get him to have a good latch.

I feel awkward breastfeeding in front of my parents. Well, my dad. They haven't met their grandson yet so never seen me breastfeed. I realise this is entirely my issue but how can I get over this hurdle?

OP posts:
RunLolaRun102 · 18/12/2022 11:11

I used to hold a Muslin over DS but he hated it as he has always liked to see the other boob and my face during feeds. Best thing is to just turn your chair around when feeding - that’s what I had to do lol.

Gruffling · 18/12/2022 11:13

It's okay to want some privacy to breastfeed, especially in the early months where it still feels strange to be getting your tits out in public.

I bf DC till age 3, but never in front of male family members.

My one piece of advice is that you get them to leave the room, not the other way round! I would just say, DC wants a feed, do you guys want to go make a coffee for 15 mins and everyone was perfectly happy with that.

Blixem · 18/12/2022 11:19

I fed in front of my parents, Dad would just look the other way while she was latching on. My SIL had a baby at the same time and would just get her boob out and not care who saw, so I was discreet by comparison. My mum breastfed me and my siblings and all my nieces were breastfed too so no-one really thought anything of it really.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3-6 months old Babies & sleep Breast & bottle feeding Families
Luredbyapomegranate · 18/12/2022 11:22

Are there seats you can claim as yours as his so he doesn’t get a direct view? In which case just do that and jokingly explain why. Then he can just fix his eyes somewhere else - which he will anyway

and the loose Muslin

littlejo67 · 18/12/2022 11:23

I would cover up myself and baby with a large towel as that is quite practical as well. I wouldn't leave the room or announce it.

TrudyProud · 18/12/2022 11:25

It's your choice- breast feed wherever you want . If your dad isn't comfortable he'll leave.

I'm currently at my in-laws I breast feed my 9 month old wherever I happen to be when she's hungry. My FIL will stay or leave. DH and MIL will usually stay. DM will usually stay.

Don't worry.

SomethingNastyInTheBallPool · 18/12/2022 11:26

I just whapped them out and told my dad to get over it.

Original poster
Squiff70 · 18/12/2022 11:27

Thanks so much for all the replies. I've laughed at some of your stories and got a few tips too.

To the person who said I should show common decency in front of guests and leave the room, are you okay? Seriously? I'm feeding my own baby in my own home. Why should I hide away to feed him? Are you the type of person who thinks babies should be fed in public toilets to save others having to see? Would you like to eat your meals in public toilets?

Many years ago I saw a Facebook group called "If you have a problem with seeing me breastfeeding then put a blanket over YOUR head".

I'll just use a muslin and experiment a bit. My parents are fully aware I'm breastfeeding so they will be expecting it. It will not come as a shock to them.

Also, to the person who wrote an entire post advising me to get the hang of breastfeeding in public first, please read my OP. With respect, I've never had an issue breastfeeding in public. I just crack on with it because I care more about my baby being hungry than what some random strangers who I'll likely never see again might think. The whole point of my OP was that I'm shy about feeding in front of my parents, specifically my dad. If you read all the comments on this thread you'll see I'm not alone in feeling like this. Not by a long shot.

OP posts:
speakout · 18/12/2022 11:27

I had no issue breastfeeding in public, but I wouldn't in front of my mother.

Luredbyapomegranate · 18/12/2022 11:28

ouch321 · 18/12/2022 10:49

No kids but theoretically no I wouldn't.

Just for reasons of common decency and I don't think it's nice to do something that would make people uncomfortable especially if they're your guests.

Oh my lord

Breast feeding has nothing to do with common decency

No one decent gets offended by breastfeeding

Babies need to eat. Should the OP be holed up in the bedroom of her own home on Christmas Day?

BuffaloCauliflower · 18/12/2022 11:39

@weinerdog yes but she’s asking for help to NOT feel uncomfortable, not reinforce it

JenniferBarkley · 18/12/2022 11:42

If you haven't tried using a muslin before, try it in advance OP. I found it very fiddly and hard to get a latch, and DD hated it too. I found all went more smoothly without, and just used breastfeeding tops or one up one down.

Nordix · 18/12/2022 11:48

Some of these responses are quite sad.

OP, it’s really awkward at first in front of people you know, especially dad/FIL/brothers/BILs. But my advice would be to just go for it, with covers handy, or a vest under jumper so you can do one up/one down method and a minimal amount of skin showing. Before long, family members will get used to it and it won’t be awkward anymore. It’ll be second nature. But if you start off stepping out the room you’ll end up doing that the whole time you’re breastfeeding, and the next child too, which isn’t fair on you.

As always, it’s their responsibility not to look if they don’t want to see a flash of boob.

speakout · 18/12/2022 11:50

I have never breastfed in front of my mother.

That's for my comfort- not hers.

Oranges555 · 18/12/2022 11:58

Absolutely just go for it, your baby’s just eating , and they feed that much at that age still don’t keep leaving room. I tended to find it wasn’t awkward if I didn’t make it awkward, I fed my kids in front of literally anyone, and carried on my conversations like normal!

On a side note big cardigans and jumpers are a great way of covering up more, I’d have a vest on under a jumper and just pull the vest down and my jumper up so literally everything was covered

Blanketpolicy · 18/12/2022 12:06

I would have told my parents that I was still getting the hang of feeding discreetly so could they try to busy themselves whenever I start feeding so I dont feel awkward when I am trying to latch on, but once feeding has started there is no problem.

Most parents would respect that.

ronaldthefeline · 18/12/2022 12:09

I breastfed in front of everyone, with the exception of my lovely 82yo FIL who genuinely wouldn't have minded at all, but I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable.

My dad is 60 and I've no idea what his feelings are on it but he had 3 years combined of it with my 2 and never left the room or voiced his opinion.

My mum was a bit horrified the first time I did it in public with DS around 6 days old but then got a grip of herself and never mentioned it once.

People are strange beings.

pointythings · 18/12/2022 12:37

I think experimenting with different forms of cover is fine. It's all about you feeling comfortable and your baby getting fed. You'll make it work. And if they're having one of those feeds where they keep pulling off to have a nosy then so be it - you will all cope. Babies can be uncooperative little buggers.

Shayisgreat · 18/12/2022 13:48

I felt awkward at the start as well. Then I just thought fuck it, I need to feed my child and my dad is going to have to accept it. In fairness to him, he used to just look away.

wishing3 · 18/12/2022 13:52

Hard to predict but for what it’s worth I felt the same but then wasn’t bothered in the end when it came to it. I think people look away anyway.

Boshi · 18/12/2022 13:56

Why do you have to get over it if it makes you/your dad uncomfortable?

Just use a muslin it’s not the end of the world. My dc is quite the kicker when she feeds so I just find a seat or chair and turn it away from the crowd, throw over a scarf and it’s fine

Shayisgreat · 18/12/2022 13:58

ouch321 · 18/12/2022 10:49

No kids but theoretically no I wouldn't.

Just for reasons of common decency and I don't think it's nice to do something that would make people uncomfortable especially if they're your guests.

I've seen other posters including the op responding to this post but just to hammer the point home - there is nothing indecent about feeding a baby. Breastfeeding should be normalised and mothers supported to do it, rather than shamed and told that it makes others uncomfortable.

Ikeameatballs · 18/12/2022 14:02

I breastfed 4 day old ds during Xmas dinner with my parents, aunt, uncle and cousins all gathered round the table! Everyone just concentrated on their roast potatoes!

Honestly OP, you’ll be fine. Enjoy your family time.

ditherydotty · 18/12/2022 14:06

The drama of feeding a baby 🙄 it's no big thing unless people make it so, personally I'd leave the room so my baby could concentrate on being fed without an audience but your making a big deal over nothing

britneyisfree · 18/12/2022 14:39

I have massive tits so it's impossible to be discreet. I just whip them out anywhere anytime. Fuck it, your baby needs feeding!!