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Original poster

Breastfeeding in front of my parents

107 replies

Squiff70 · 18/12/2022 08:04

Tell me I'm being stupid.

My son is 4 months old and breast fed. My parents will be with us for Christnas and I really don't want to have to leave the comfort of my own living room and family every time he's hungry.

I've never had a problem breastfeeding in public but manage to do it discreetly. I'm still at the stage though that at times I need to see what in doing to get him to have a good latch.

I feel awkward breastfeeding in front of my parents. Well, my dad. They haven't met their grandson yet so never seen me breastfeed. I realise this is entirely my issue but how can I get over this hurdle?

OP posts:
Maxifly · 18/12/2022 08:58

I always went into the bedroom to feed at first, then my dad said it's only natural, don't be embarrassed and from then on I was OK with it

Jellyjam36 · 18/12/2022 09:00

I felt embarrassed the first time as my mum is very eccentric and OTT and made a huge fuss, she's a personal space invader as well and came over peering until I just said "wtf are you doing?". She eventually chilled out. I think it's because she struggled to BF.
On the other hand, BF in front of partners dad was awkward but had to get on with it.

jackstini · 18/12/2022 09:04

Do they know you're breastfeeding?
If so just say 'time to feed the baby'

Neither of my parents batted an eyelid (& my mum didn't bf us in case relevant) nor did in-laws or any other family

I had nursing vests with a top over so lifted top, undid cups and very little is visible. Just kind of turned away and bent forward until latched on

Anyone who's uncomfortable gets to pop out and do drink making, meal prep or dishes Wink

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Ackity · 18/12/2022 09:08

I used a bf apron infront of my dad.

Lovebeingamummy2 · 18/12/2022 09:35

00100001 · 18/12/2022 08:08

I just cracked on, if they didn't like it, they would have to leave.

Dad never said a word tbf.

This

gogohmm · 18/12/2022 09:37

Just get over it, honestly after the first time you won't even be cross your mind. At that point the latch should be pretty good but how about styling your outfits with a scarf for being discreet if needed?

pointythings · 18/12/2022 09:46

I just wore baggy tops and fed in front of whoever was there - my parents, FIL and MIL, people in parks. Babies need to eat. DD1 was 10 days old when my parents came over so in the middle of a growth spurt. The only thing my dad did was to comment on my jelly belly, at which point I told him that 1) I was wearing pre preg jeans and 2) that I'd had a baby literally 10 days ago so maybe not make comments like that. All was well after that.

PumpkinLumpkin · 18/12/2022 09:52

I couldn't have cared less. My dad awkwardly left the room the first time to busy himself but he quickly realised that he wouldn't get to see much of me if he kept doing that. It was the height of cluster feeding. He got over himself after that.

Whowhatwherewhenwhynow · 18/12/2022 09:56

I remember it feeling awkward at first when I BF in front of my dad. But after a few times it became normal and clearly we both just adjusted to it.

like someone else said I’d just announced youre going to feed (“ oh you look hungry are you ready for some milk.). Then if your dad wants to make himself scars he can. if initially latching is an issue could you pop to another room, latch baby on and then walk back in to sit with everyone?

Just go with it and see what works for you at the time. I agree though that I wouldn’t want to be off elsewhere all the time over Christmas, I’d want to remain with everyone else.

piedbeauty · 18/12/2022 10:04

I just cracked on. Maybe ask your dad to make you a drink when you start feeding, so he can be out of the room? But it wasn't an issue at all.

ScarlettOHaraHamiltonKennedyButler · 18/12/2022 10:18

At first I used a nursing cover but eventually I got used to it. It's a totally natural act and there is nothing to be embarrased about.

weinerdog · 18/12/2022 10:19

BuffaloCauliflower · 18/12/2022 08:26

@weinerdog why should she have to leave the room? It’s a baby eating

Hmm

Because she is the one who's uncomfortable! Use your head bevfore you get outraged.

I am also the type who feeds everywhere but if you are awkward about it then find an excuse to leave and come back when baby is latched.

JenniferBarkley · 18/12/2022 10:31

I breastfed loads in front of both my dad and FIL. At first they both offered to leave but I said no need and we all quickly got used to it. I think it's one of those things where if you grit your teeth and pretend everything's fiiiine, then it quickly will be.

Perhaps it helped that both my mum and MIL had breastfed their babies so there was nothing new in it. My dad actually said it brought back lovely memories of my mum feeding us, which I thought was quite sweet. (If also a case of rose tinted glasses, pretty sure they both hated the baby years as we were both horrors, and I know my mum didn't enjoy breastfeeding.)

Pollywoddles · 18/12/2022 10:37

Just do it. I fed in front of my late father and he was so supportive, it’s a lovely memory I have of him.

I had to feed at his funeral and it’s a funny memory that my family have because my baby was making yummy noises as she was feeding in the front pew, it broke the tension. He’d have laughed too.

acronsew · 18/12/2022 10:41

Don't make a big deal about it and just feed as you usually would.

Anyone who is uncomfortable can go make you a cup of tea!

TheFormidableMrsC · 18/12/2022 10:44

I wouldn't have fed in front of my Dad admittedly. However, it's perfectly possible to do discreetly if you do wish.

Fifthtimelucky · 18/12/2022 10:44

At 4 months it is much easier than at 4 days, even if sometimes you have to check to see what you're doing.

I wouldn't cover up with a muslin or special cover, but perhaps just think about seating arrangements so that you are not sitting directly opposite to your father. Much easier to be discreet if you're sitting next to each other.

I definitely breastfed in front of my father. It wasn't awkward and he just thought it was a natural thing to do. I must also have breastfed in front of my father in law and I don't remember that being awkward either. It was a long time ago but suspect he would have been far too embarrassed to look in my direction while I was feeding.

Mammyloveswine · 18/12/2022 10:45

I just cracked on! No one ever had an issue or if they did they never told me!

123woop · 18/12/2022 10:46

I just carried on as usual mostly, but to be honest I did also quite like the excuse to go upstairs for half an hour and have some peaceful time watching the tv 😂😂

ouch321 · 18/12/2022 10:49

No kids but theoretically no I wouldn't.

Just for reasons of common decency and I don't think it's nice to do something that would make people uncomfortable especially if they're your guests.

cosmiccosmos · 18/12/2022 10:52

I still feel bitter towards DP that he asked me to breastfeed away because he Dad was staying. I wish I had stood my ground and told him that if his Dad was uncomfortable then he should go into the kitchen.

My own mother was always ridiculous about breast feeding and not supportive mainly because she couldn't. So I didn't have anyone supporting me abs just sent abs did it quietly away from everyone.

I think you just need to do what you feel comfortable with

SallyWD · 18/12/2022 10:58

I was shy about this too! I just used a huge blanket to cover up and it was impossible for anyone to see anything.

GlitteryGreen · 18/12/2022 11:04

I am breastfeeding my 3 month old and I felt the same at first. But then the first time everyone came to meet the baby I was spending so much time sitting alone in another room that I just got sick of it and ended up coming back through, and it truly was fine and now I never leave the room to feed.

I always wear a vest and a t-shirt over the top so I can pull the t-shirt up and pull the vest down, so I'm covered up.

I think we forget that many of our dads were partners of breastfeeding mums so it's not as alien and awkward for them as we feel it is.

LemonsAndCherries · 18/12/2022 11:05

Use a Muslin. I had a friend over breastfeeding recently, never saw even a glimpse of breast! My husband was chatting to her for ten minutes before he realised she was breastfeeding as it looked like she was holding her baby. When he realised, he offered teas but only because he didn't want to make her uncomfortable (bit late by then though).

Don't constantly hide away in your own house.

JenniferBarkley · 18/12/2022 11:07

ouch321 · 18/12/2022 10:49

No kids but theoretically no I wouldn't.

Just for reasons of common decency and I don't think it's nice to do something that would make people uncomfortable especially if they're your guests.

Nothing indecent about feeding a baby Hmm