Heating wars...anyone else?

[Snowontheholly]

I'm at a loss here!
Partner and I rent together (have a child), not married. I work part time.
He is from a wealthy family.with savings of hundreds of thousands.
I just about pay the bills.

He pays the rent and I pay all the bills. The rent is higher but he earns substantially more. I've been telling him we need to be careful with heating due to the increased cost of living but he's delusional. He thinks if we have the heating on all day it'll be an extra £20 a month! The heating comes on at 6am for a few hours so the kids are warm getting up bit it's supposed to go off. He switched it back on. I switch it off and he puts it on. It's on from 6am-11pm and he said yesterday it's cold.in.the night so he wants it on all night (so basically 24hrs).

He says we can afford it as we are a 2 earning household but I work part time and have no savings and he has a high wage and lots of savings.

I've just looked online (I was putting it off) and my direct debit was short by £160 last month.
This month my gas and electric is going from £200 a month to £480!!

I can't afford it. I only work part time around our son (which he wants).
I'm so stressed.

This is an awful attitude your partner has OP

I really don't understand. If he is a medical professional, he is inteligent enough to notice what is happening in the world, surely?
Show him the bill and ask him to supplement it since he is the one wanting the heating on all the time?
Anyway, I wouldn't put up with the person like that. I would get rid of him and rent a smaller place.

He is not old fashioned. If he was old fashioned he would pay for everything and prefer you to not work at all.

He is very selfish and part of his awful behaviour is likely in part due to his divorce history - you should not be punished because he lost wealth in a divorce.

It’s clear that you are not really a couple; if you were a couple all money would go into a single joint account to pay for everything. You are two single people pretending to be a couple. You would probably be better off financially and emotionally if you split.

Maybe you can stop working all together for several months - to see how he reacts when he has to pay for everything. Or at least maybe you can just tell him you think you are going to be sacked and see how he responds.

That's not particularly fair. I'm not with him for money and we don't have an extravagant lifestyle

By lost I also meant thousands lost in solicitor fees

Bollocks. He won’t marry you because a divorce would cost him a lot of money.

Working part time, losing your earning power to a financially abusive man who has had an affair. @Snowontheholly why are you still with him?

In the meantime...you could fit one of these 😂

How long have you been together - did you plan a family together & discuss finances etc then?

That sounds like he wasted a lot of money pointlessly contesting his ex's claims. People who approach the division of assets sensibly and constructively tend not to have that problem.

@SnowlayRoundabout i believe they fought and fought and wasted thousands and were told to settle by family but he refused.

OP he tell you and others that you are mentally unstable. He says that's why he won't marry you. He lived with his daddy before you. He has hundreds of thousands in savings but hasn't bought a house. He works less than he could because he is lazy. He is financially abusive. What part of this man is appealing to you? He sounds like a loser.

Tell him your agreement needs renegotiating in light of the increased costs of gas and electric. Tell him you cannot afford to pay the bills. Tell him he needs to pay the energy bills from now on.