Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

What just happened?! I don't know what to make of this.

484 replies

Believers · 14/12/2022 00:52

I've had the strangest experience tonight and I don't know how to explain it.

I volunteer with a charity, and tonight myself and 3 others from there went out to a pub I've never been to before for a pre-Christmas drink.

At one point I went to the toilet and as I was on my way out a woman was on her way in. We exchanged pleasantries and went on our separate ways.

About 5 minutes after I'd joined my friends, this same woman came up to us, and sat next to me on the banquette thing. She took my hand and said she had to tell me something.

It was all a bit odd, but I figured she'd maybe had a drink, and I had no objection to her joining us. But then she said to me that she had xxx with her and he wanted me to know that he was happy, that he loved me and that it was time I moved on. She was crying as she said this and I started crying too because xxx was the name of my late dh.

I have no idea how she could've known any of this. None of us knew her, I'd never been to that pub before, dh's name isn't wildly unusual but not that common either, why did she come and find me after our brief encounter in the toilet etc.

I can't get my head around it! Any ideas?!

OP posts:
CharlottePerrens · 14/12/2022 09:58

I teach student nurses and several of the classrooms are in the basement of a very old red brick building(Victorian era I think). I finished class yesterday and locked up, - couldn't get the projector to switch off, so ages after the last student had gone. I got to the heavy fire door to go upstairs and the door opened and then slammed shut just as I put my hand towards the handle. There's probably a reasonable explanation- just like with the above posts and OP but it definitely freaked me out!

LadyOfTheCanyon · 14/12/2022 09:59

I dunno. I'm not particularly woo but I have had some experiences I can't explain over the years, ghosts and the like. I saw a medium many years ago before the internet, on the other side of the world to where I live as she was spot on about experiences I'd had, along with dates and names.

I do think we have an unconscious hive mind, if you like. Occasionally (it actually happened the other day, hasn't for a couple of years) some knowledge just gets dumped in my brain when I'm looking at someone. It's not like I'm given the information from a 'spirit', I just suddenly have an unshakeable thought about a person.

I've not always had the opportunity to check the details ( because sometimes its literally someone in the queue for the bus and tapping them on the shoulder would be odd), but the times when I've been in conversation with someone and it's happened, I've always been right. And it's always something very specific.

Dotellhimpike · 14/12/2022 10:00

"it was a commonly held belief that we couldn't fly until we did"

Err, we can't fly.

Moranguinho · 14/12/2022 10:00

knittingaddict · 14/12/2022 09:57

Who are you asking?

Show quote history

I meant to quote @TheShellBeach who claims that every single one of them are a scam.

NHSmummy84 · 14/12/2022 10:02

I'm a believer. Telling someone they shouldn't believe is like telling them they are wrong to believe in god. It just shouldn't happen. We should respect other people's beliefs, especially when we can't prove otherwise.
That being said, I have a couple of my own experiences.
There was a staff member at the hospital where I work that had abilities. When my grandad died, someone stole something valuable. This person was in his life but not ours, we didn't know where they lived etc. The woman at the hospital was able to describe the location and part of an address where the item would be found. A police officer relative, was able to use the information (off duty) and go to this place. The thief was there, the item was returned.

Palmfrond · 14/12/2022 10:02

I haven’t read the full thread, but OP I hope you are okay, and I also hope you also checked your purse and/or phone we’re still there. I’ve had run ins with eerie people before and on at least one occasion they made off with my phone, which they must have taken out of my bag RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY EYES. Very Dickensian, I have to applaud them, really.

knittingaddict · 14/12/2022 10:04

Pilgit · 14/12/2022 09:56

We don't really know if this is possible or not. Shutting it down as impossible seems short sighted - it was a commonly held belief that we couldn't fly until we did. So dismissing it as a possibility seems short sighted when we don't know what science will discover next. There are though lots of horrid people who play on people's emotions and exploit them. I'd like to think there is something further after death.

Well people still can't fly.

The belief that people couldn't design a vehicle capable of flying was due to a lack of technical knowhow. Not the same thing at all.

It is perfectly possible to test psychic ability and yet it always turns out to be fake, clever reading of people's body language and chance.

My mum died in spring this year. If anyone tried this on me they would get an earful. It would be incredibly upsetting and I wouldn't believe a word of it. Bloody grief vultures.

Ashard20 · 14/12/2022 10:05

@Chocolateandcherries
Thank you.
I totally agree with you.
I think it goes with the understanding that our soul has a body, not, our body has a soul.

ancientgran · 14/12/2022 10:05

TheShellBeach · 14/12/2022 03:18

I do think there are a (very limited) few people who aren't charlatans.

Well, I don't. There is no way people can genuinely know anything about anyone else. It is all luck and skilled cold reading.

I've always felt it is rubbish, I sort of still do but I did have a strange experience. Girls at work were having a night out with a psychic, they had to book a certain number and someone dropped out. I was sort of guilt tripped into going. I wasn't interested but wasn't scared or anything as I knew it was rubbish.

She told me the sort of things you hear about with cold readings but one thing is hard to explain. She told me my sister was getting married, true it was all booked and I had my bridesmaid dress. She said he was from X country, again true and a bit surprising, I wondered if one of the others had said something. She said my sister would be going to his country as he wouldn't be able to leave and the wedding would be there and they would marry with no family there. I told her that wasn't true it was all booked it was happening here. She said to wait and see and it wouldn't happen here.

A few days later civil unrest, pretty well civil war, broke out in his country. He was called up as a man of military service age and couldn't leave. The wedding had to be postponed. Things calmed down but he still couldn't leave as he was on standby. My sister was always going to go and live in his country after the wedding, she'd given in her notice at work and everything was set up at his end for her to go. So she went, she married in his country. We couldn't go, his family lived deep in the country and they didn't go, don't know if they could have.

It is hard to work out how all that could be a coincidence. So I'm not sure what I believe.

knittingaddict · 14/12/2022 10:06

I agree with TheShellBeach.

Wishimaywishimight · 14/12/2022 10:08

Judgyjudgy · 14/12/2022 09:09

I hope it gave you some comfort OP.

Gosh some of these responses are depressing. I feel sorry for some of you people, talk about glass half full if not empty 😕

I feel the same as you @Judgyjudgy . It is much easier to take something at face value, take the positive from it and perhaps derive some comfort rather than expending dismissive / angry energy in deriding it as a scam, rubbish, impossible, fake etc etc. Just let the message wash over you without putting too much energy into it. If it gives you comfort (it would me for sure) then relax into that, otherwise let it go as just one of those 'oddities' that cross your path now and then.

Mirabai · 14/12/2022 10:08

Any ideas?!

Well your late husband got in touch and told you it’s time for you to move on.

worstusernameeverx2 · 14/12/2022 10:08

TheShellBeach · 14/12/2022 01:13

But how would she have known the name?

OP has said that her DH's name wasn't wildly unusual. It was a lucky guess, that's all.

Seems a bit of a stretch, she could have known OP's name and looked on her fb or something though maybe

Maidsmum · 14/12/2022 10:10

Something similar happened to me about 20 years ago. Random guy in a pub; took me a few minutes to understand what he was saying (I thought he'd been speaking to my then partner, 5 deep at the mobbed bar and taking forever!). It threw me, upset me and completely confused me, especially as im very sceptical about these things. But now I see it as a comfort and a bit of a turning point in terms of how I was feeling

BilliousBob · 14/12/2022 10:13

Hi there. I know a medium who has worked for the police in murder investigations. She said things like this happen to her often and usually in the aisles of Marks and Spencer! She said if youre a medium and are compelled to approach people this way she 'youd better make it good' and make sure you have absolutely clear and qualifying information for the person. The loved ones on the other side communicate telepathically. Some mediums see them but this is rare. The people who tell you this is a scam and not to trust it are people who struggle with the idea that the physical life we see is all there is. It's not. Its extrordinary what goes on around us all the time that we cant see. Many of our thoughts arent even our own either...!!! Who knew!! There are obviously scammers out there and fake mediums but this is genuine. Bless you OP. I hope you can move on to happiness and know that your DH isnt far away. You cant talk to him you know... :)

Piscesmumma1978 · 14/12/2022 10:14

My parents used to go to spiritualist churches and some people really had a gift. The things my parents were told were just amazing and spot on.

I think this is really lovely but then I believe that the passed can communicate xx

AnnPerkins · 14/12/2022 10:15

SnowlayRoundabout · 14/12/2022 08:44

Think about this sensibly. Realistically, would your husband suddenly have chosen, six years after his death, to attach himself to some random stranger in a pub to tell you something really pretty anodyne? And is that much more likely than someone using cold reading techniques and making a lucky guess that the name she chose might be someone you knew?

This. I suspect your friends probably mentioned your DH when you left for the toilet.

I'm sorry for your loss OP. I hope what happened last night and this thread haven't upset you Flowers

ReindeerMcReindeer · 14/12/2022 10:16

I want to believe but don’t.
If your husband was truly communicating with you wouldn’t he say something personal that only the two of you would know so that you would be sure it was him. You know something like “remember when we were getting ready to go to see show blah in blah and I accidentally dropped my champagne on your silver shoes” type thing. Not “he wants you to move on and be happy”.
sorry. Hope you are ok xx

lightisnotwhite · 14/12/2022 10:16

SnowlayRoundabout · 14/12/2022 08:48

I think it's a bit arrogant to assume we know everything about life and the universe

The thiing is, though, that people have been trying to find scientific proof that this sort of thing is genuine for an incredibly long time, with large rewards being offered to the person who comes up with proof. And no-one ever has. Don't you think that if people coming back from the dead to pass on fairly pointless messages was a thing there would be at least some testable evidence by now?

But to be scientifically provable it has to be reliable (can be repeated) and valid (answer the set question). Maybe we’re testing the wrong thing.Lots of things are real now but if you took them back in time people wouldn’t be able to explain them.
Take something like magnets. Basically discovered thousands of years ago but weren’t fully understood, utilised or manufactured because at that point we didn’t know about electricity.
Maybe to explain clairvoyants we need another bit of knowledge?

knittingaddict · 14/12/2022 10:17

Many of our thoughts arent even our own either...!!! Who knew!!

That's half way to psychosis, if you believe that. Criminally irresponsible if someone told you that BilliousBob.

PollyPeeves · 14/12/2022 10:19

Did anyone tag you in a social media post or anything to say you were in that pub/location?

Dotellhimpike · 14/12/2022 10:19

"The people who tell you this is a scam and not to trust it are people who struggle with the idea that the physical life we see is all there is."

I don't struggle at all, it's the most natural thing in the world for me to believe this is all there, since I've yet to see evidence that would convince me other wise.

"It's not. Its extrordinary what goes on around us all the time that we cant see."

It's extraordinary to me that we are expected to believe people who tell us they have this special vision that allows them to see things that aren't there.

I don't say any of this to have a go, I am happy for people to hold a different view but it does rankle when my disbelief is framed as a failing on my part.

CheesenCrackersmm · 14/12/2022 10:21

What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large.

MrsOnyx · 14/12/2022 10:23

Similar experience here too, so I do believe these people have some sort of gift or "sight" - but don't ask me to define it.

My father passed away. I was with him in ICU and held his hand as he passed. He had been unconscious for hours and passed quietly.

The next day I was in Sainsbury's car park on my way to do some food shopping. As I walked across the car park towards the store, a woman came across the car park towards me. I did not know her. She looked at me kindly, touched my arm gently and asked "Was it your dad?". I was surprised, of course, but she then said "He's with you now. I can see him. When he passed yesterday, he was happy to know you were there and held his hand. It was a great comfort to him. He wants you to know he will always be looked over you now". Then she walked away.

How could she have known?

Northernparent68 · 14/12/2022 10:27

She may know of you, via work, social media, the gym etc and know your husband died.