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Original poster

What just happened?! I don't know what to make of this.

484 replies

Believers · 14/12/2022 00:52

I've had the strangest experience tonight and I don't know how to explain it.

I volunteer with a charity, and tonight myself and 3 others from there went out to a pub I've never been to before for a pre-Christmas drink.

At one point I went to the toilet and as I was on my way out a woman was on her way in. We exchanged pleasantries and went on our separate ways.

About 5 minutes after I'd joined my friends, this same woman came up to us, and sat next to me on the banquette thing. She took my hand and said she had to tell me something.

It was all a bit odd, but I figured she'd maybe had a drink, and I had no objection to her joining us. But then she said to me that she had xxx with her and he wanted me to know that he was happy, that he loved me and that it was time I moved on. She was crying as she said this and I started crying too because xxx was the name of my late dh.

I have no idea how she could've known any of this. None of us knew her, I'd never been to that pub before, dh's name isn't wildly unusual but not that common either, why did she come and find me after our brief encounter in the toilet etc.

I can't get my head around it! Any ideas?!

OP posts:
Dotellhimpike · 14/12/2022 16:27

It's a very limited way of thinking, that what we know now is everything and nothing else could ever be discovered.

Literally no one here has said anything to this effect.

MiddleParking · 14/12/2022 16:28

Yes, necessarily, and no I haven’t “missed the point”. You could propose that anything might be true, but that doesn’t make it so. Do you not believe in any science? And if you do, why?

Applecottagetree · 14/12/2022 16:29

@Dotellhimpike I was referencing those who had said that it simply can't be true "because there's no scientific evidence". I'm saying that there may be, we just haven't discovered it yet. I made that clear in my initial post.

ReluctantCourier · 14/12/2022 16:31

Maybe your friends talked about you dating/not dating as you hit up to go to the loo. She’s overheard and seen her in. It’s plausible your friends wouldn’t want to share this with you

BloodAndFire · 14/12/2022 16:36

EmmaAgain22 · 14/12/2022 15:07

This seems very real to me.

I don't think a common name can be a lucky guess, but if OP has lived in the area a while, I think that's the answer.

Show quote history

That message would also work for me. I have a male relative called Barry who has cats which are currently worrying him. FWIW. I would imagine it's true of many, many people.

Dotellhimpike · 14/12/2022 16:36

I was referencing those who had said that it simply can't be true "because there's no scientific evidence".

But it's a perfectly logical and reasonable thing to believe there being no scientific evidence after hundreds of years of people claiming something exists, is good reason to say it doesn't exist. It's up to the people saying it exists to offer a reasonable explanation as to why we can't find hard proof it exists, or even have a working paper on what kind of proof one might hope to find in the future.Keep in mind when people like Darwin posit things like the theory of evolution, they accept there isn't full proof at the time but siggest what sort of evidence may turn up in the future, an d are proven correct in time. All we have right now, is there's no proof, we can't explain it but hundreds of years from now there may be proof and an explanation.

BloodAndFire · 14/12/2022 16:37

Applecottagetree · 14/12/2022 16:29

@Dotellhimpike I was referencing those who had said that it simply can't be true "because there's no scientific evidence". I'm saying that there may be, we just haven't discovered it yet. I made that clear in my initial post.

The One Million Dollar Paranormal Challenge was an offer by the James Randi Educational Foundation (JREF) to pay out one million U.S. dollars to anyone who could demonstrate a supernatural or paranormal ability under agreed-upon scientific testing criteria. A version of the challenge was first issued in 1964. Over a thousand people applied to take it, but none were successful. The challenge was terminated in 2015.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One_Million_Dollar_Paranormal_Challenge

Applecottagetree · 14/12/2022 16:37

@MiddleParking of course I believe in science, but I don't believe that all science is settled, closed, job done. In 200 years science will have developed and moved on to discover many things we don't know now.

As for claiming anything could be true, I'm not. I know what I've experienced within the context of this thread to be true, as do many other people. And I don't believe that because they aren't talking about it on the news then it can't happen.

BloodAndFire · 14/12/2022 16:39

frogface69 · 14/12/2022 15:41

Just to add. I think the medium concerned was shocked to get a proper message. I thought she was just winging it before.

This is a very old trope, as used for example in the film 'Ghost'. The idea that there are mediums who think they're fake, but woah! It turns out that they really CAN - unbeknownst even to themselves - receive messages from The Other Side.

SleepingStandingUp · 14/12/2022 16:49

SnowlayRoundabout · 14/12/2022 15:27

The odds of a lucky guess with a reasonably common name must be astronomical.

Not really, if you aren't too specific about who the person is. When you're dealing with an adult, you are likely to be dealing with a pretty large pool of friends, relatives, schoolmates, college mates, university mates, work colleagues, people you know through mother and baby groups, hobbies, clubs etc, school gate acquaintances, hairdressers, the milkman/postie, dog walking etc etc - stop say nothing of the partners, brothers, children etc of those people. So there's actually a decent chance of at least one of them having the reasonably common name or something sufficiently similar to it to be passed off by the medium as mishearing/poor spirit connection/people on the Other Side use a slightly different version, or whatever.

If its a message for.... Possibly. I have a message for Steve. What, Aunt Mary's ex husbands son Steve? Yes, that one. But if it's someone who's dead that's generally a much smaller pool of people. Grandparents on both sides, an aunt, couple of people through work, an old neighbour, a few friends parents, a friend of my sibling. I'm 40, I can't imagine my numbers are crazily low.

If course the "I see a J, or an I or a T or maybe it sounds like J, so A. Yes you're nodding. It's an A to usay? But his middle name? Yes in sure that it's!!" happens a lot too

Hobbi · 14/12/2022 16:51

To those who say 'science doesn't know everything', there's only two sensible answers to that:

  1. that doesn't mean it doesn't know anything;
  2. it doesn't mean we should fill in the gaps with superstitions and guff.
frogface69 · 14/12/2022 17:00

I've been thinking for the last hour. Maybe spirit don't communicate too specifically, like obviously. Appearing and giving exact details that would give good proof because if we knew there was proof of an afterlife then we might not make the best of this one ? Some might not care for themselves properly or be inclined to cut their lives short because there is a spirit world to go to.
Just enough information could be given to give people hope. Something to cling onto.
My mind is whirling.

EmmaAgain22 · 14/12/2022 17:19

"She could be a friend of a friend - some scammers attend funerals or peruse the websites of undertakers."

what useful info would you get from an undertaker website?

My interest in the paranormal isn't connected to mediums, but there was a girl at school whose father turned out to do a bit of that. He didn't charge and he kept it quiet because it would have reflected badly on the family. She only told me after he died.

it's funny how in the 70s, he was hiding it - but would now have been a career option for him.

i definitely think if a spirit wants to communicate with me, they'll do it direct. No agency fees!

HootyMcboob76 · 14/12/2022 17:26

frogface69 · 14/12/2022 17:00

I've been thinking for the last hour. Maybe spirit don't communicate too specifically, like obviously. Appearing and giving exact details that would give good proof because if we knew there was proof of an afterlife then we might not make the best of this one ? Some might not care for themselves properly or be inclined to cut their lives short because there is a spirit world to go to.
Just enough information could be given to give people hope. Something to cling onto.
My mind is whirling.

That's really the essence of faith itself.
I mean, if God is real, why doesn't He just appear in the sky, point at us all and say " you better get your acts together or you're going to the burny place" or whatever.
The point is that we (some) have FAITH that God exists despite there being no tangible proof. Faith is believing in something without evidence for that thing.

I suppose if He did appear and we were able to see Him, it would open up a whole new can of worms!

Dreamsoffreedomjoyandpeace · 14/12/2022 17:33

Dotellhimpike · 14/12/2022 15:47

Well I know that but I just meant that some of our senses might still be outside of human knowledge.

But this conversation isn't about that, it's about some people claiming human senses within their own knowledge but outside others' Saying there are things as yet undiscovered isn't catch all proof that any outlandish claims someone makes is likely to be true. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof.

Crikey your replies are bamboozling! Even to extraordinary humans🙂.

I don’t think I’ve missed the point of the conversation at all…a lot of people are saying the same thing that you’ve quoted. It’s true that some people are more sensitive than others….I’m not claiming to have any psychic powers though. I wish I did but I don’t. There’s arrogance on both sides….absolute certainty in any belief is arrogant.

I never said that saying there are undiscovered things was catch all proof. I don’t think that there’s proof either way. I think that most mediums are charlatans. I also think that directing people to proof of this is silly. It’s irrelevant to provide proof that most mediums are charlatans when most people are saying that only a few people claiming to have psychic powers actually do.

Someone gave a long and clear explanation about why it’s impossible to scientifically prove psychic powers and yet people haven’t read the thread and are banging on about how they haven’t been scientifically proven. Anyway there are things that even the most intelligent humans will never understand. Just as a less intelligent animal will never understand the things we do.

EmmaAgain22 · 14/12/2022 17:37

BloodAndFire · 14/12/2022 16:36

That message would also work for me. I have a male relative called Barry who has cats which are currently worrying him. FWIW. I would imagine it's true of many, many people.

Show quote history

now I'm wondering what % of the population are called Barry and have cats.

also, I hope the cats are okay!

Hobbi · 14/12/2022 17:38

EmmaAgain22 · 14/12/2022 17:19

"She could be a friend of a friend - some scammers attend funerals or peruse the websites of undertakers."

what useful info would you get from an undertaker website?

My interest in the paranormal isn't connected to mediums, but there was a girl at school whose father turned out to do a bit of that. He didn't charge and he kept it quiet because it would have reflected badly on the family. She only told me after he died.

it's funny how in the 70s, he was hiding it - but would now have been a career option for him.

i definitely think if a spirit wants to communicate with me, they'll do it direct. No agency fees!

Undertakers, Chapels of Rest, Crematoria etc can all have websites with message boards for tributes from friends and family, with details of the deceased. I know of one absent father that was traced via a message he'd put on his brother's tribute board. That enough for you? I'm sure your local fraudulent medium could inform you further.

Dotellhimpike · 14/12/2022 17:38

Someone gave a long and clear explanation about why it’s impossible to scientifically prove psychic powers

I saw the eplanations and was wholly unconvinced. As for my replies being bamboozling, that's totally on me, and I will try to be more clear in future.

EmmaAgain22 · 14/12/2022 17:43

Hobbi "That enough for you?"

Thank you for the information.

I am a very private person and just didn't immediately put two and two together about people putting all that info on an undertaker website - I sort of know, I'm just being slow. I won't apologise for my slowness as you seem quite snarky yourself so I cba.

Hobbi · 14/12/2022 17:43

EmmaAgain22 · 14/12/2022 17:43

Hobbi "That enough for you?"

Thank you for the information.

I am a very private person and just didn't immediately put two and two together about people putting all that info on an undertaker website - I sort of know, I'm just being slow. I won't apologise for my slowness as you seem quite snarky yourself so I cba.

Snark begets snark.

EmmaAgain22 · 14/12/2022 17:46

Hobbi · 14/12/2022 17:43

Snark begets snark.

Show quote history

apologies, I really didn't know I'd been snarky to anyone, I am sorry.

Is this about Palmfrond, I did apologise for that.

Fremdschämen · 14/12/2022 18:00

"what useful info would you get from an undertaker website?"

Some undertakers' websites have pages for obituaries, messages uploaded by relatives and friends, lists of donations etc.

Hobbi · 14/12/2022 18:35

@EmmaAgain22 no, that was funny. Your question appeared to be expressing sarcastic disbelief that undertakers might have details about the deceased. All good. I'm just fiercely defending rationality as 'wooey' women exploiting vulnerable women isn't a good look. And it happens a lot.

IncompleteSenten · 14/12/2022 18:39

"Someone gave a long and clear explanation about why it’s impossible to scientifically prove psychic powers"

Did they? I've read through and can't see one. Who was it?

MediumsRus · 14/12/2022 18:42

This isn't a beyond the grave one but when I was getting married my mum said wanted my God mum to be there, but they had sadly lost touch 20 years ago. Mum was like "just find her darling her surnames Smith and she lives in London".

Obv no way I could do that.
But next time I was at my dm's, a few months later, the phone rang and a voice i sort of recognised asked to speak to mum.
It was my God mum who'd had a dream Mum wanted to get in touch with her!
She came to the wedding