Page 12 | What just happened?! I don't know what to make of this.

Believers · 2022-12-14T00:52:15+00:00

I've had the strangest experience tonight and I don't know how to explain it. I volunteer with a charity, and tonight myself and 3 others from there went out to a pub I've never been to before for a pre-Christmas drink. At one point I went to the toilet and as I was on my way out a woman was on her way in. We exchanged pleasantries and went on our separate ways. About 5 minutes after I'd joined my friends, this same woman came up to us, and sat next to me on the banquette thing. She took my hand and said she had to tell me something. It was all a bit odd, but I figured she'd maybe had a drink, and I had no objection to her joining us. But then she said to me that she had xxx with her and he wanted me to know that he was happy, that he loved me and that it was time I moved on. She was crying as she said this and I started crying too because xxx was the name of my late dh. I have no idea how she could've known any of this. None of us knew her, I'd never been to that pub before, dh's name isn't wildly unusual but not that common either, why did she come and find me after our brief encounter in the toilet etc. I can't get my head around it! Any ideas?!

frogface69 · 14/12/2022 15:27

When my mother was in a coma and having palliative care I asked her to leave me a distinctive message that could be passed on to me, should there be an afterlife. As kind of proof. I was alone with her in the room and she died that evening. I didn't tell a soul about this. For fear of being called daft or morbid I suppose.
a few years later I went to a charity psychic evening. It was ok, a bit wishy washy. Nothing remarkable at all, usual guff that could apply to anyone etc.
at the very end, one of the mediums ran back onto the stage and she looked confused, rather pale and not like she did before. She said I've got someone here..She loves you very much..Old Rugged Cross...and walked off really unsteadily.
old rugged cross was what I asked mum to communicate.
I can't explain that.

SnowlayRoundabout · 14/12/2022 15:27

The odds of a lucky guess with a reasonably common name must be astronomical.

Not really, if you aren't too specific about who the person is. When you're dealing with an adult, you are likely to be dealing with a pretty large pool of friends, relatives, schoolmates, college mates, university mates, work colleagues, people you know through mother and baby groups, hobbies, clubs etc, school gate acquaintances, hairdressers, the milkman/postie, dog walking etc etc - stop say nothing of the partners, brothers, children etc of those people. So there's actually a decent chance of at least one of them having the reasonably common name or something sufficiently similar to it to be passed off by the medium as mishearing/poor spirit connection/people on the Other Side use a slightly different version, or whatever.

Dreamsoffreedomjoyandpeace · 14/12/2022 15:36

Dotellhimpike · 14/12/2022 15:25

But (for example) dogs sense things that ‘aren’t there’ so it surely isn’t too much of a leap to think that some humans might sense things that you can’t.

A dog has a sense of smell greater than mine, meaning it could know something or someone was in the vicinity that I was unaware of biut all of this is well within human knowledge, dogs have never, to my knowledge been aware of something outside human understanding.

It is worth remembering that even we humans have senses beyond the five tradtional ones we all know about, senses such as proprioception which give us an understanding of our physical sense of place is easy to understand once you learn about it but consider one's sense of interoception which is the person's sense of what is going on within their own body. Many people think that vague feeling of unease that leads them to seek medical advice, and it turns out they may indeed have some seious illness, it can and is often said that it was a supernatural sense which led them to seek medical advice but we do in fact know it is a bodily function or ability that exists though most people have never heard of it.

Well I know that but I just meant that some of our senses might still be outside of human knowledge.

I don’t think we know how some dogs seem to know that their owners have decided to come home even if it isn’t at the usual time. I don’t know if mine do….it’s just what I’ve heard….I mean I may be clutching at straws here😆.

There’s a lot we don’t know….the multiverse for example….some people believe that ‘ghosts’ etc are some sort of glitch between universes.

SnowlayRoundabout · 14/12/2022 15:36

Silvercatowner · 14/12/2022 11:19

If you are going to bring scientific examples into it, it would be more appropriate to wonder how a science so sophisticated that it can split the atom, produce wifi, produce cures for hundreds of hitherto incurable conditions, "see" into people's bodies, send people deep in to space ... has never found any basis for mediums' claimed powers, or communicating with the dead in any other way?

Perhaps we don't know as much about the universe as we think we do?

There's a very easy answer to that one. Science has found a basis for mediums' claimed powers, namely that they don't exist; the techniques they use are well known. Derren Brown, for instance, has done some excellent work in publicising them.

As for science not finding a way for communicating with the dead, that is because communication is a two way process. The dead can't communicate with us, and have no means of receiving communication; therefore we can't communicate with them. You might as well say science is inadequate because it hasn't found a way of communicating with lumps of rock.

2bazookas · 14/12/2022 15:39

First contact.

Now she knows you're a widow, your name, your husband's name, and you no doubt spliied more details (when/where /why he died). She can use the new info to track DH death certificate , obituary, funeral details, and from there home in on your location and address. From DH's death cert she can track his birth and marriage records, and from that, yours.

Then she'll contact you offering to reveal more messages from DH, could meet you to talk only you will need to pay her travel expenses (cue hard luck story). Cheque will be fine.

Now she has your bank and account number plus all your official ID info , all set up to steal your ID for fraud use.

Please don't fall for this scammer's bait.

SnowlayRoundabout · 14/12/2022 15:40

pigsducksandchickens · 14/12/2022 11:38

Believe. I do. We cannot know everything- and poo-pooing something because you don't understand is naive.

I hope she gave you comfort.

I don't think anyone doubts this because they don't understand it. It is precisely because they understand it very fully.

EmmaAgain22 · 14/12/2022 15:40

OP sorry to ask again

have you lived in the same area for a while?

frogface69 · 14/12/2022 15:41

Just to add. I think the medium concerned was shocked to get a proper message. I thought she was just winging it before.

EmmaAgain22 · 14/12/2022 15:42

2bazookas · 14/12/2022 15:39

First contact.

Now she knows you're a widow, your name, your husband's name, and you no doubt spliied more details (when/where /why he died). She can use the new info to track DH death certificate , obituary, funeral details, and from there home in on your location and address. From DH's death cert she can track his birth and marriage records, and from that, yours.

Then she'll contact you offering to reveal more messages from DH, could meet you to talk only you will need to pay her travel expenses (cue hard luck story). Cheque will be fine.

Now she has your bank and account number plus all your official ID info , all set up to steal your ID for fraud use.

Please don't fall for this scammer's bait.

Oh blimey

hopefully OP didn't give her name but that's quite a stretch isn't it?

Dotellhimpike · 14/12/2022 15:47

Well I know that but I just meant that some of our senses might still be outside of human knowledge.

But this conversation isn't about that, it's about some people claiming human senses within their own knowledge but outside others' Saying there are things as yet undiscovered isn't catch all proof that any outlandish claims someone makes is likely to be true. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof.

Original poster

Believers · 14/12/2022 15:48

@EmmaAgain22 sorry I missed your question - yes I have lived here a long time.

OP posts:

Original poster

Believers · 14/12/2022 15:51

2bazookas · 14/12/2022 15:39

First contact.

Now she knows you're a widow, your name, your husband's name, and you no doubt spliied more details (when/where /why he died). She can use the new info to track DH death certificate , obituary, funeral details, and from there home in on your location and address. From DH's death cert she can track his birth and marriage records, and from that, yours.

Then she'll contact you offering to reveal more messages from DH, could meet you to talk only you will need to pay her travel expenses (cue hard luck story). Cheque will be fine.

Now she has your bank and account number plus all your official ID info , all set up to steal your ID for fraud use.

Please don't fall for this scammer's bait.

I didn't give her my surname, only my first name, and I didn't tell her when dh died. I won't go back to the pub in the hopes of seeing her again, and if she does somehow contact me I won't engage in any way.

OP posts:

EmmaAgain22 · 14/12/2022 15:53

Believers · 14/12/2022 15:48

@EmmaAgain22 sorry I missed your question - yes I have lived here a long time.

That's probably the answer.

but I definitely think there's stuff we don't know.

Chuntypops · 14/12/2022 15:53

CavalierApproach · 14/12/2022 08:51

I would absolutely hate to think my dead relatives were standing around watching me do undignified things when I think I’m alone 😖

This is known as a “wank seance”.

Applecottagetree · 14/12/2022 16:01

I can understand people being cynical. I used to be. But the argument of no "scientific evidence" is weak. Do people honestly think that in 2022 the science is settled on absolutely everything that ever existed, that science cannot progress any further and that right now, we as humans know absolutely everything there is to know about the universe? Scientific evidence evolves and progresses, thats the beauty of it. Who's to say that in 200 years there won't be evidence of afterlife or spiritual energy?

Also, a lot of 'evidence' is based on human accounts and experiences, which is what these interactions are. And doctors and scientists all have differing views on what the evidence means for outcome.

SirCharlesRainier · 14/12/2022 16:08

Applecottagetree · 14/12/2022 16:01

I can understand people being cynical. I used to be. But the argument of no "scientific evidence" is weak. Do people honestly think that in 2022 the science is settled on absolutely everything that ever existed, that science cannot progress any further and that right now, we as humans know absolutely everything there is to know about the universe? Scientific evidence evolves and progresses, thats the beauty of it. Who's to say that in 200 years there won't be evidence of afterlife or spiritual energy?

Also, a lot of 'evidence' is based on human accounts and experiences, which is what these interactions are. And doctors and scientists all have differing views on what the evidence means for outcome.

No, we don't think that. Science thrives on things that were previously thought to be true being disproved - any scientist worth their salt would be delighted at evidence coming to light that proves mediumship.
But there never is any evidence.

Dotellhimpike · 14/12/2022 16:10

Who's to say that in 200 years there won't be evidence of afterlife or spiritual energy?

Me, I'm saying it.

2bazookas · 14/12/2022 16:12

At one point I went to the toilet and as I was on my way out a woman was on her way in. We exchanged pleasantries and went on our separate ways.

She marked you. She established a beginner contact/ pleasant vibe , so you would not instantly reject her next move to get closer

About 5 minutes after I'd joined my friends, this same woman came up to us, and sat next to me on the banquette thing. She took my hand and said she had to tell me something.

Adults hold hands with innocent people, those we trust and like .Taking your hand is a typical con play; reinforcing and extending the earlier (fantasy) vibe of familiarity and goodwill.

millymog11 · 14/12/2022 16:15

"are any of your family/children/relatives on social media - Yes"

So all that needs to have happened is for someone in your wider family/social circle who are in any way on social media to have put their settings as even slightly "public" (a lot of people do this unwittingly whether it is just the one photo or their entire profile catalogue of photos - essentially the public can see them should they go looking or stumble across them, you don't need to be "friends" with them).
In this age of social media, please don't underestimate the amount of time some people out there have to literally "cruise" the internet and specifically social media for gossip or tidbits even about people they don't even know or more likely people who are friends with people they know but whom they have never been introduced to. Why? Because it is like gossip used to be and they are lonely/bored/living life vicariously through others.
The other explanation is there is a very tenuous link somehow between you and this woman via friends / family members / friends of friends albeit no introduction. As you went to this venue through your work/the charity you volunteer with then that charity or someone else who works / volunteers there might be the common denominator (a friend of a friend of a friend through that charity, which friend or connection also has a connection with the pub you were in).
Some people are just wildly interested in the lives of complete strangers and also retain names/bits of information they pick up and remember those random bits of information for reasons unique only to them till they die.

It can be completely benign for them to come up and say this to you, most especially if they do not give you their own name and you never see/hear from them again. They get an internal rush/sense of validation for having connected with you.

I would take it in the spirit in which it was meant. (but as others have said about, in the event she does try to get in touch with you again I would politely resist it on the basis that if your dear husband really wants you to know something and you believe in the the supernatural, your husband will let you know without the need for a random stranger telling you).

SnowlayRoundabout · 14/12/2022 16:15

Applecottagetree · 14/12/2022 16:01

I can understand people being cynical. I used to be. But the argument of no "scientific evidence" is weak. Do people honestly think that in 2022 the science is settled on absolutely everything that ever existed, that science cannot progress any further and that right now, we as humans know absolutely everything there is to know about the universe? Scientific evidence evolves and progresses, thats the beauty of it. Who's to say that in 200 years there won't be evidence of afterlife or spiritual energy?

Also, a lot of 'evidence' is based on human accounts and experiences, which is what these interactions are. And doctors and scientists all have differing views on what the evidence means for outcome.

This is not a case of something that hasn't been discovered because science hasn't got that far, like cures for incurable diseases.

This is a case of a lot of people claiming absolutely that the phenomenon has been discovered but never, over a course of decades, even centuries, being able to produce any evidence that stands up to scientific testing despite hefty prizes and incentives being offered to them to do so. Every time someone claims to have been told something by a medium that no-one could know other than by communicating with the dead, it's been demonstrated that they could know or guess perfectly well.

To repeat an analogy, I could claim that there are purple-spotted pink elephants floating around in the sky, and that the fact that I can't produce evidence for their existence in any shape or form is because it's science's fault that it hasn't advanced far enough to prove it for me. None of that will make my claim true.

Hobbi · 14/12/2022 16:15

There's any number of ways this particular liar could have got hold of information about you - did you have your work ID on you? If not, did you mention work to anyone in the pub? Does your work have a website? She could be a friend of a friend - some scammers attend funerals or peruse the websites of undertakers. A good con artist always appears genuine.

MiddleParking · 14/12/2022 16:17

Applecottagetree · 14/12/2022 16:01

I can understand people being cynical. I used to be. But the argument of no "scientific evidence" is weak. Do people honestly think that in 2022 the science is settled on absolutely everything that ever existed, that science cannot progress any further and that right now, we as humans know absolutely everything there is to know about the universe? Scientific evidence evolves and progresses, thats the beauty of it. Who's to say that in 200 years there won't be evidence of afterlife or spiritual energy?

Also, a lot of 'evidence' is based on human accounts and experiences, which is what these interactions are. And doctors and scientists all have differing views on what the evidence means for outcome.

Do you not think if there was some kind of actual hypothesis to go at that we could communicate with dead people it might be quite well-resourced and talked about a bit more in the news and that?

IncompleteSenten · 14/12/2022 16:17

In hundreds of years absolutely nobody has been able to demonstrate their supernatural talents under controlled conditions.

I would suggest that if a medium can only talk to auntie Doris when nobody has her under controlled conditions then it's a pretty safe bet that she's not talking to auntie Doris.

Applecottagetree · 14/12/2022 16:23

@MiddleParking no, not necessarily. And you've missed the point. We are not the be all and end all, here and now. Who knows what the future will hold and what science could bring to light. It's a very limited way of thinking, that what we know now is everything and nothing else could ever be discovered.

Hobbi · 14/12/2022 16:25

SeveruslyFrazzled · 14/12/2022 13:01

I’d be inclined to believe it because you didn’t pay

Con artists, drug dealers and other professional liars seldom charge for the first hit.