Is anyone awake? I’m expecting bad news and I can’t sleep

[MyCake]

My dh is unwell and we have no idea what is wrong. We are getting scan results this morning but they were only to rule things out so probably not conclusive. However, I can’t see how this isn’t going to be something serious as he has declined so rapidly.

I feel sick. We’ve already lost most of his income through him being off work so I’m also worried sick about money. We have enough savings to manage another 2 months at the most.

My dc are already suffering, despite them
mot fully understanding how serious the symptoms are, as dh is pretty much housebound and I can’t physically drive them to all the clubs and places they need to go by myself.
I also work full time although thankfully I’m a teacher and break up this week.

My heart is broken just looking at him disappearing in front of me. The doctors are slow to take his symptoms seriously so sadly by the time he was sent to hospital he was already unable to work and very ill. It could of course be something very treatable but at the moment I feel suffocated with the fear of the worst case scenarios.
I am writing this as I’m lonely and scared and wondered if anyone is awake to say hello.

I have name changed in case anyone recognises me from this post. If you do, please don’t mention this as I am doing a great job of appearing strong on the outside.

Oh OP you're having such a shit time I'm sorry.

You're doing all the right things and every day is hopefully a day closer to getting this sorted. I'll keep you in my thoughts for some positive news soon.

Thank you for posting the update Mycake. I am so sorry you are still waiting for answers. One thing learned is, if a dc mentions something you don’t understand ask them to explain, it avoids googling.
I do hope dc will recover soon. Look after yourself, eat well and drink lots of water to keep your strength going. Hugs.

You are amazing @MyCake. I think of you every day. Sending love ❤️

You are having such an awful time MyCake. I am shocked at how slowly the professionals are moving on all this. I hope the consultant gets on and deals with this quickly once all the results are in.

Continued best wishes OP. Fingers crossed things move quickly and you get some answers soon.

One of the things I hate about life is how the rest of it still happens and throws things at you, even though you are already fully consumed by something else. It's really shit that bad stuff happens when we are already up to our eyes in bad stuff!

I am so sorry op. 💐💐💐

@MyCake You’re in the middle of a dark storm at the moment. Please talk to people in real life, take time off work to take the pressure off your mental load if you need to. Please put yourself first for a bit each day.

@MyCake this is horrendous for you and really frustrating and I feel every bit of anxiety you are going through
I'm a GP and hate these situations where I know something is wrong but can't get investigations done in good time. I had it with my mum last year. Urgent scans taking weeks. Sadly she had an incurable cancer and no matter when it was discovered she would have died. In fact I'm glad we didn't know earlier as she made it to my wedding in ignorance.

One thing that comes to mind is tuberculosis. It is sometimes described as the great imitator as can look like a lot of other diseases. I once had a patient who was told he had secondary cancer of unknown origin. I just had a hunch about tb and was fortunately right and he got better with treatment. Has has he had an HIV test as that can also cause enlarged lymph nodes?

Sending a hug

You're being amazing and strong. I'm praying for you and your boys.

I deleted my last post because even though I didn’t say much about my dc, I feel this thread is too identifying to mention anything about them. Dc is ok but it’s an ongoing worry with them and this week has been particularly difficult.

Delurking to send a gentle hug.

Sorry it’s all so hard atm, really praying for some clarity and resolution for you on all fronts.

As a pp mentioned - please take a moment for yourself if you can. Work sounds like a good distraction for you.

Gosh @MyCake you have so many things being thrown at you at the minute. Is it possible to get any time to yourself? Even just get a wash & blow dry or your nails done?

I know it sounds frivolous but it may just give you that wee boost.

Ah MyCake. Are there any easy wins available? Could a week off school/work or a visit to a friends help?

I feel like when the shit hits the fan and all rules are off, you can sometimes find some space to just be. Eat whatever, bath, play video games. Have an impromptu day off. The equivalent of doing a carpet picnic when they were preschoolers.

That might not work in your situation, if structure is the way to go for the DC.
Thought I'd mention it in case you are feeling trapped by the day to day grind.

Oh I'm so sorry it's such an agonising wait for answers
You have been so strong advocating for your DH, and must be exhausted
Especially with 'daily life' hard as well
Could you get even a couple of days off to give you breathing space?
Sending you and yours lots of love

You have so much going on right now. I’m sorry this is such a difficult time.

I wanted to send you tonnes of love, hugs and support, in such tough circumstances. I so hope that you get the help you need for your dear husband soon. You are fighting so hard, with so much on your plate. xxx

I honestly wish I was surprised at how long it’s taking you to get answers.

Just read through this thread OP, my god how you are holding it together I don't know bless you!

Absolutely shocking such delays. I hope you have answers soon.

Sending ❤️

I hope OH’s PET scan goes well later today. Are you accompanying him Mycake?

Thinking about you all, MC.

I hope you are doing OK.

Sending good vibes to you today too