Is anyone awake? I’m expecting bad news and I can’t sleep

[MyCake]

My dh is unwell and we have no idea what is wrong. We are getting scan results this morning but they were only to rule things out so probably not conclusive. However, I can’t see how this isn’t going to be something serious as he has declined so rapidly.

I feel sick. We’ve already lost most of his income through him being off work so I’m also worried sick about money. We have enough savings to manage another 2 months at the most.

My dc are already suffering, despite them
mot fully understanding how serious the symptoms are, as dh is pretty much housebound and I can’t physically drive them to all the clubs and places they need to go by myself.
I also work full time although thankfully I’m a teacher and break up this week.

My heart is broken just looking at him disappearing in front of me. The doctors are slow to take his symptoms seriously so sadly by the time he was sent to hospital he was already unable to work and very ill. It could of course be something very treatable but at the moment I feel suffocated with the fear of the worst case scenarios.
I am writing this as I’m lonely and scared and wondered if anyone is awake to say hello.

I have name changed in case anyone recognises me from this post. If you do, please don’t mention this as I am doing a great job of appearing strong on the outside.

He has just pretty much collapsed in the waiting room. The lovely receptionist has found somewhere for him to lie down and he is sleeping. The doctor hasn’t come yet as his appointment isn’t until 10.

They’d better fucking take this seriously now. I feel sick with worry. I worry it will be too late by the time they diagnose him.

In a good way that Mr my cake has fallen ill in the waiting room. Thinking of you both.

Insist on seeing someone more senior. Refuse to move until it is taken seriously. Time to make yourself unpopular so that they are forced to act.

I said I was a teacher earlier in the thread but whilst that is partly true, I also have another aspect of my job where I work with bereaved families or families with illness. I’ve seen so many people terminally ill and my husband is so thin that I feel panic stricken inside, although I’m trying not to show him that.
I have also been supporting a family where a parent of teenage children died after months of symptoms and no one taking it seriously. He died soon after diagnosis and I admit I’m struggling as that is so raw as they are still challenging the hospital over his care.
I try not to ever mix work with personal stuff but dh’s situation is one I’ve sadly seen lots of times. The only thing that reassured me it’s not the same is that the ct scan from his chest down was clear and his head mri was clear.
I am panic stricken as I write this. He is sleeping next to me on a bed in the lovely day ward. The people here are really lovely. It is a relaxed ward designed to keep people from being admitted to a ward while they have certain investigations and treatments.

I have BIL’s letter in my hand and @Reigateforever I agree about it being good that he’s collapsed here

i am glad the ward is relaxed
best wishes to you both

The registrar has just come in. I am suddenly overwhelmed with anger. DH is awake now and having his BP taken so I’ll stop posting now but dh has just told me to put my mask back on as I looked so angry when the doctor came in! He has left and is coming back shortly to do the LP and examination.

I am SO glad you are all here on this thread with me xxx

Of course you are angry. Thank goodness for masks, sometimes they are quite helpful! Am thinking of you this morning.

Use that anger - obviously in a controlled way, to get answers.

OP I’m sending you hugs and strength and hope you get some answers soon 💐

I’ve been thinking about you over the weekend. I really hope the registrar pulls his shit together for this appointment, but I’m not holding my breath.

It’s great that the scans are clear but all it really means for you is more questions.

Thinking of you

For gods sake don't mask your anger, why would you want to do that?

Thinking of you both and really hope the doctor gets his act together and you finally get some answers and treatment for Mr MyCake 💐

Can't tell you how much I'm thinking of you and your family. This is so stressful for you all. Virtual hand holding xx

Oh gosh, I'm reading with bated breath! Lord, I pray that he receives an appropriate diagnosis and treatment now!

Thinking of you and your DH. They must see how unwell he is and start to act with urgency.

@Princesspollyyy I am actually quite proud of myself as I’ve managed to be angry in an assertive and demanding way without being rude or swearing!

The registrar is definitely being much more thorough and is taking lots of blood. He’s listened to the list of concerns we have and is doing some of the tests I wanted such as liver tests as dh’s skin looks slightly yellow (although his eyes don’t).

I am not surprised you are angry. I hope this is the shock the doctor need to jump into action finally. Good luck we are thinking of you both. This has gone on far too long for you all 💖

We will hear from the consultant tomorrow after they’ve met and talked to haematology (and I believe this because the one thing that has been good is that when we are told this particular doctor will ring, he actually does). Dh is about to have LP then we are here for an hour afterwards.
Very annoyingly the registrar hasn’t requested for the neck biopsy but he said it will be discussed tomorrow and I told him I had found a private ENT consultant to do it and if I wasn’t satisfied after the call tomorrow then I’d be booking it. He did seem particularly concerned about the groin lumps though and said he was surprised they didn’t show on the CT more prominently. I’m hoping tomorrow’s meeting will be productive.

He also read Bil’s detailed letter and said he’d relay that information to the haematologist too. I have made frantic notes on my phone, especially of all the things we’ve told him as last time I don’t think it was all noted down on his notes.

Oh well done! brava!

I wish someone been this thorough 2 months ago 😞

I am just so relieved that AT LAST something seems to be happening for you both Cake.
Take care of yourself. You must be fucking exhausted and I suspect when you get home today you might feel rather drained and a bit anti-climactic. Lots and lots of self-care in whatever form you need it and can manage it. Hugs and best wishes. xx

Could you quickly write the rigistar an account of what you thought he said and what he said he was going to do and get it printed out while OH is having other examinations, to hand to him later when OH has finished at the hospital you are at?