Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Can I get some positive vibes, had a knock on door yesterday about my house

154 replies

SnowWay · 12/12/2022 08:37

A while ago I was on a home swap group.

I have 4 children, 3 of them in one room age 18,16 and 11.
I've been on the swapping register for years.

A lady wanted to downsize and came to see my house but ultimately decided although the location, garden and other things were perfect it was just a little too small.

She is a fosterer and had a massive 4 bedroom house over 3 floors.

When she decided against it I was really sad for a long time and gave up.

Yesterday she knocked in my door, out of the blue ( I deleted Facebook a while ago) and asked if I still wanted to move?

Her circumstances have changed and she is only having 1 Foster child longterm now. So the house is big enough for 3.

I'm going to see her house this week.

She seems really keen. She needs this area, I have a nice rear garden.

I'm a little apprehensive about the area her house is in but I've lived in this house 20 years, my kids were all born here!

But I just feel like space is the most important thing to us and we couldn't even get a swap on a 3 bedroom with 2nd lounge (to turn into bedroom) so a 4 bed with 2 reception rooms would mean everyone can have their own room!

I'm just scared she will change her mind again but can you please send positive vibes. We really need this.

OP posts:
LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 12/12/2022 08:38

Positive vibes from me - fingers crossed!

GetThatHelmetOn · 12/12/2022 08:41

Given the age of your kids, I would stay were you are. You are settled there, you like your area, your garden, etc. The kids will start to fly the nest in a few years time so I don’t think I would uproot myself just to give them each a bedroom for a few years.

RedHelenB · 12/12/2022 08:42

I'd think the same.

GetThatHelmetOn · 12/12/2022 08:43

Bear also in mind that a 6 room house over 3 floors may be massively expensive to keep warm. That may be the reason she is so keen to downsize now.

Original poster
SnowWay · 12/12/2022 08:49

GetThatHelmetOn · 12/12/2022 08:41

Given the age of your kids, I would stay were you are. You are settled there, you like your area, your garden, etc. The kids will start to fly the nest in a few years time so I don’t think I would uproot myself just to give them each a bedroom for a few years.

My children have SEN.

They won't be moving out.

OP posts:
NewHopeNow · 12/12/2022 08:50

Really hoping it goes your way, good luck.

Original poster
SnowWay · 12/12/2022 08:50

GetThatHelmetOn · 12/12/2022 08:43

Bear also in mind that a 6 room house over 3 floors may be massively expensive to keep warm. That may be the reason she is so keen to downsize now.

She's keen to downsize as it's only her and one child now and she is paying bedroom tax and he elderly mother lives on my street, she wants to be close to her.

OP posts:
Original poster
SnowWay · 12/12/2022 08:52

I'm not asking if people think I should move or not.

I 100% wnat to.

I just wnated to share my news and get some positive vibes so that it actually goes through!

Please don't try and dissuade me from something I've wanted for years.

OP posts:
Tonysopranosghost · 12/12/2022 08:52

Fingers crossed for you!

Chillyoptimistic · 12/12/2022 08:52

Positive vibes Op!

SusanPerbCallMeSue · 12/12/2022 08:52

Good luck! Hoping she wants your house. Keeping everything crossed for you.

GetThatHelmetOn · 12/12/2022 08:52

Ok, that changes the things quite a bit…

My main concern would be location, does that work for you and your children? Is the area safe? Close to what you need and your network of support?

if so, positive vibes from me 🤞

AnyFucker · 12/12/2022 08:52

Good luck. Everything crossed !

MintChocCornetto · 12/12/2022 08:53

Best of luck OP. Rooting for you.

MardyMincepie · 12/12/2022 08:53

Area is everything, if it’s rough then don’t move. Look at the police crime stats for that area, it also lists the type of crime. There is an estate in my town the amount of crime reports of anti social behaviour on and around that estate is crazy.

I grew up in a big house, four storeys and six bedrooms, much too big to heat properly.

MardyMincepie · 12/12/2022 08:55

The fact that your children have SEN and will never be leaving home does radically change why you are so desperate for space. I would still be wary though if it’s a bad area.

BringMeTea · 12/12/2022 08:56

Area research notwithstanding, fingers and toes crossed!

Hmmph · 12/12/2022 08:58

I don't think you should worry about her changing her mind. She must be very keen on your house to come back to it sometime later. She's probably been thinking about it ever since. And add to that her elderly mother living nearby..! Your house is her perfect house. It's all about your choice now. Good luck, I hope it all works out for you.

Original poster
SnowWay · 12/12/2022 09:00

MardyMincepie · 12/12/2022 08:55

The fact that your children have SEN and will never be leaving home does radically change why you are so desperate for space. I would still be wary though if it’s a bad area.

I live in a bad area now, 2 teens have been stabbed in the last few months.

The new place is only 10 mins down the road.

I guess I'm just used to this area so it doenst seem scary to me even though it's a high crime area its familiar, you know? Better the devil you know sort of thing?

OP posts:
LadyEloise1 · 12/12/2022 09:00

@SnowWay I do so hope it works out for you. It would be the best Christmas present. You deserve it.
Do all four of your children have SN ?

Shrewsbury247 · 12/12/2022 09:03

Good luck 🤞🏼 we’re all with youn🙏🏼🙏🏼

Original poster
SnowWay · 12/12/2022 09:03

LadyEloise1 · 12/12/2022 09:00

@SnowWay I do so hope it works out for you. It would be the best Christmas present. You deserve it.
Do all four of your children have SN ?

No,just 2 of them but my eldest is suffering from depression and where he doesn't have SEN he needs alot of support. He's very antisocial and dependent on us so I just cannot see him moving out nay time soon. I don't think he would be able to.

My train of thought is:

If, in a few years we don't need the bigger house we will be in a prime position to get back to a 3 bedroom house as so many families want more bedrooms. So we should be able to exchange easily if we want to come back to this area or downsize.

OP posts:
daretodenim · 12/12/2022 09:05

Lots of positive vibes from my spot over here to you. It sounds great. Nowhere is ever perfect, but lack of space is really hard to deal with. If somewhere is too cold it is possible to find a workaround (not perfect solutions, but workarounds). You can't by an electric blanket, dehumidifier and put a jumper on and magically have more bedrooms!

Really hope this works out! Keep us updated!

minipie · 12/12/2022 09:06

Oh gosh good luck OP! Hope you like the look of her house and it all works out. Fingers crossed. Could be great for you both.

GatesToTown · 12/12/2022 09:09

Really hope this works out for you.

Swipe left for the next trending thread