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Original poster

ExH told my 8 year old son

88 replies

pomegranatepie · 10/12/2022 21:06

That father Christmas isn't real. He is heartbroken. I asked him if he wanted to believe he was real, and if so that was all that mattered. He seems to be reasonably comforted by that, but clearly he now knows deep down that it's me. But what the hell? I'm really sad for him, and completely baffled as to why on earth exH would do that.

OP posts:
Fireyflies · 10/12/2022 21:11

At 8, I think his days of truly believing were probably numbered tbh. Most kids will know the truth by that age. Personally I found that a lovely story starts to creep into being a bit of a lie as kids get older and ask more questions, maybe your ex was finding it hard to sustain? A bit crap of him if it's always been you rather than him who does stockings though.

Sad that DS is upset - he does realise he'll still get a stocking doesn't he? You could reassure him that "every child has their own father Christmas really" (ie your parents are father Christmas) And try to make him feel like he's been let into a grown up secret now he's getting older and must play along for any younger siblings, cousins, etc

LBFseBrom · 10/12/2022 21:13

I don't think you can criticise your ex for telling the truth. Most children don't believe in Father Christmas at eight. Christmas can still be fun and magical with lots of fantasy without believing a mythical person exists.

Pictograph · 10/12/2022 21:14

My kids definitely believed at that age and I would have been gutted OP Sad

Interested in this thread?

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8 year olds
Dacadactyl · 10/12/2022 21:15

I think 8 is still a bit young. I'd say 10 would be not believing territory.

Your ex will have his reasons for telling him. Maybe your son asked him outright and he just didn't want to lie to him

FleasNavidad · 10/12/2022 21:16

"Most children don't believe in Father Christmas at eight"

Oh give over. So boring and predictable 🥱

ozymandiusking · 10/12/2022 21:17

Bastard!!

user1487194234 · 10/12/2022 21:17

I really don’t think most 8 year olds believe and if mine had asked me directly (at any age) I would not have lied

Doyoumind · 10/12/2022 21:19

I don't agree 8 year olds don't believe. Mine did. Why did he tell him?

SkylightSkylight · 10/12/2022 21:23

Wanker.

I'll ask Santa to slap him around the chops & the reindeer to crap in his bed.

prettybird · 10/12/2022 21:23

I love the Tom Hanks animated film "The Polar Express". Part of its message was "The magic is there as long as you want it to be." Xmas Smile

That's the way I talked about it with ds, so he "believed" for longer than he might otherwise have done (age 11 Xmas Shock) - but really, he was keeping hold of, and enjoying, the sense of magic.

WhatIsThisPlease · 10/12/2022 21:28

My two were 10/11 when they stopped believing so everyone saying 8 is too old is talking rubbish.

Your ex was out of order. I'd be heartbroken.

user1487194234 · 10/12/2022 21:28

None of mine believed at 6 never mind 8

Mumtobabyhavoc · 10/12/2022 21:30

And yet another reason he is your ex....
kids grow up so fast why tale away a bit of childhood magic?

allboysherebutme · 10/12/2022 21:30

I'd message him and tell him he has broke his sons heart and I hope he's proud of himself.
Sorry OP. X

NuffSaidSam · 10/12/2022 21:32

I think it depends on the circumstances. Did DS ask?

vipersnest1 · 10/12/2022 21:33

I got around this by saying that Father Christmas only visits children who believe in him, and that children who no longer believe will still get presents.

NuffSaidSam · 10/12/2022 21:34

user1487194234 · 10/12/2022 21:28

None of mine believed at 6 never mind 8

If that worked for you and your DC then that's brilliant.

It's not representative of all 6/8 year olds though.

Theydoyaknow · 10/12/2022 21:34

I would KILL Him!

girlmom21 · 10/12/2022 21:35

user1487194234 · 10/12/2022 21:28

None of mine believed at 6 never mind 8

Is that because their arsehole dad decided to tell them he wasn't real?

Zanatdy · 10/12/2022 21:37

My kids still believed until at least 10 so I think that’s very mean. What an arse

Ihatethenewlook · 10/12/2022 21:37

user1487194234 · 10/12/2022 21:28

None of mine believed at 6 never mind 8

Same. Todays plans was literally to take my just turned 6yo to a grotto and he refused because Santa isn’t real. And it’s defo not come from his dad. Will be from school I guess, plus a bit of common sense 🤷🏼‍♀️

WaddleAway · 10/12/2022 21:38

It’s irrelevant whether ‘most’ children believe at 8 or not, the OP’s child did believe until his dad told him otherwise. Have you asked why he told him? My oldest is 9 and still believes (yes I know in MN world that means she must be naive and of limited intelligence etc, but as I know that’s not the case I’m happy to ignore those people), but if she asked outright at this age I’d tell her the truth.

sanityisamyth · 10/12/2022 21:39

My DS(8) (soon to be 9) still believes and he's usually very logical about everything. If my useless ExH told him it was bollocks I'd be livid too. They're only little and believing once. Why does it need to be deliberately ruined?

CombatBarbie · 10/12/2022 21:39

Dacadactyl · 10/12/2022 21:15

I think 8 is still a bit young. I'd say 10 would be not believing territory.

Your ex will have his reasons for telling him. Maybe your son asked him outright and he just didn't want to lie to him

On the other thread it's 10......

Anyways, I still believe....

butterfliedtwo · 10/12/2022 21:40

Depends whether he asked or not.

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