Feel shit that I haven't done a picture ready party for DD

[chasseslady]

DS is 6.

He has severe special needs but he's beautiful and has come on a lot recently, despite profound disability

I have friends I've met through DD (a baby), and they had children a similar age to my DS.

I've been invited to 2 of their parties and came along to both, with just DD (they also have babies)

Anyway, their parties were amazing and photo ready

Balloon arches, colour coordinated to suit the theme. One had a superhero party, but it was 'tastefully' done in blue and red muted tones

3 tier cakes. Professionally done and looking amazing

Special guest appearances (Peppa pig, and one had Spider-Man)

DJ and childrens entertainer.

The bouncy castle in the theme of the party. The toddler soft play they've rented is a tasteful colour.

A very aesthetically pleasing grazing table

Party bags with each guest's name on

My party for DS is... a red velvet cake from Costco (his favourite), a generic bouncy castle that I don't actually know the colour of until it's delivered, and a random selection of foods I've laid out

I just feel shit. I know DS will love it but what about DD? Assuming she has no development issues, she will want me to pull out all the stops and won't she look back and wonder why I didn't, when everyone else's partners did?

As a 90's kid I loved my 'basic butch' parties but everyone had the same. I just feel so down not sure why I'm posting

Eh? Don't the majority of us just do a bog-standard party with a homemade cake, a few decorations and some party games? Those who want to try and make everything matchy-matchy are not the norm, I'm convinced.

Plus, balloon arches are not exactly environmentally-friendly.

It’s very likely any of us had themed matchy posh Instagram parties growing up. It’s a new thing.
i used to love my parties. I am sure most people will agree with me?
Posh cheese boards are wasted on children. They want a massive bowl of crisps and a big plate of sausage rolls.
The want loads of kids chucking balloons around screeching and dancing to loud music.
End it all with a terrible version of happy birthday and give them a massive slice of cake and that’s perfect.

A grazing table for 6 year olds?

I've heard it all now.

I can't imagine anything less hygienic!

They would start chucking the food around surely?

Social media is turning people into over competitive, egotistical dickheads.

Don't be so hard on yourself OP. For what it's worth, our 7 yo went to the first Instagram ready part we've attended a few weeks ago. There were lots of raised eyebrows from dropping parents. In our SE London-commuter village it's very much a few balloons, a homemade or supermarket cake and a few sandwiches, Wotsits and party rings-type buffet. Themes tend to be loose and backed up with whatever decor the local supermarket has. Having a banner with the child's name on gets lots of commendation for organisation.

So my point is, in reality, lots of children are still having traditional parties that aren't Insta-ready, but are simply ready for the children involved.

People really have been brainwashed by influencers and ten-bob millionaires. How sad

It's truly depressing that the main goal is ultimately not about the child but the parents image.

Parties like the ones you describe are chavtastic. Purely for display.

Just remind yourself that those parties aren’t for the child - they are for the Instagram likes and competitive parenting mums!

To a child a party is simple - is there a fun activity, cake, junk food and treats? If so, job done - they really won’t care if it’s aesthetically pleasing and colour coordinated!

That 'grazing table' looks like someone has already eaten all the food on it some time earlier.

You don't have a party problem, you have a friendship group problem.

If people judge you for not having a grazing table or a balloon arch then you don't want to be friends with them.

This made me sad to read. "Photo ready" shouldn't even be a thing. It's nonsense. Forget all about it. Generic bouncy castle and some sweets is fine. Kids don't care about Instagram.

Parties are suppose to be fun;for the kids;not Instagram worthy and not as a "look at me I'm over compensating" exercise for the parents to impress people;it's a big selfish tbh.

A bouncy castle,balloons for the kids to kid about,kid friendly food and a tray bake for a cake will suffice.

As long as I'm offered and a chair to sit on and a cup of tea I'd be happy as a parent attending.

I know someone who threw a Harry Potter themed party for her child. She made a big feast for the children of roast potatoes, roast beef, veggies etc and sticky toffee pudding like the first day of term feast at Hogwarts. She made a bookcase into a potions classroom with bottles she'd decorated herself, made wands for all the kids and turned the village hall into this OTT Hogwarts replica. The kids ate none of the food, the wands were all broken within minutes and not one of the kids paid the slightest bit of attention to the decorations. Most of the time the kids were in the garden playing tag and hide and seek, no where near all the beautifully arranged decor! But she posted it all over Instagram and made a huge show of letting all the other parents see how much effort she'd put into it. All I could think though was what a colossal waste of time and money, nearly all the food was thrown away because the kids didn't want roast dinner for party food even if it did "fit the theme".
Kids want sandwiches, crisps and cake, a bouncy castle or party games, party bags and to run around like lunatics with their mates. That's it. The rest of the stuff is totally pointless because they only care about the fun stuff, not how things look. Don't stress about something that is really quite basic to organize, it doesn't need to be turned into the birthday party of the year.