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Original poster

Feel shit that I haven't done a picture ready party for DD

113 replies

chasseslady · 09/12/2022 17:12

DS is 6.

He has severe special needs but he's beautiful and has come on a lot recently, despite profound disability

I have friends I've met through DD (a baby), and they had children a similar age to my DS.

I've been invited to 2 of their parties and came along to both, with just DD (they also have babies)

Anyway, their parties were amazing and photo ready

Balloon arches, colour coordinated to suit the theme. One had a superhero party, but it was 'tastefully' done in blue and red muted tones

3 tier cakes. Professionally done and looking amazing

Special guest appearances (Peppa pig, and one had Spider-Man)

DJ and childrens entertainer.

The bouncy castle in the theme of the party. The toddler soft play they've rented is a tasteful colour.

A very aesthetically pleasing grazing table

Party bags with each guest's name on

My party for DS is... a red velvet cake from Costco (his favourite), a generic bouncy castle that I don't actually know the colour of until it's delivered, and a random selection of foods I've laid out

I just feel shit. I know DS will love it but what about DD? Assuming she has no development issues, she will want me to pull out all the stops and won't she look back and wonder why I didn't, when everyone else's partners did?

As a 90's kid I loved my 'basic butch' parties but everyone had the same. I just feel so down Blush not sure why I'm posting Sad

Feel shit that I haven't done a picture ready party for DD
Feel shit that I haven't done a picture ready party for DD
Feel shit that I haven't done a picture ready party for DD
OP posts:
DogInATent · 09/12/2022 18:06

Children aren't props.

Alwayswonderedwhy · 09/12/2022 18:08

Children do not care in the slightest about any of this stuff.
My kids never had picture ready parties, it wasn't a thing.
I have photos of smiley kids gathered around a cake having a laugh together.

Gynaesaur · 09/12/2022 18:12

GreyCarpet · 09/12/2022 18:04

It's not about slagging them off. It's about recognising that it's for the benefit of the adults and not the children. The children don't care. If the parents want to do it - fair enough - but children just want to have fun with their friends.

Show quote history

Yes to it being for the benefit of the adults.
I'd go a step further and say that the obsession with trying to turn childhoods into a series of insta-perfect photo opportunities is very much to the detriment of children. Whatever that grey and white picture is meant to show (I know OP said these were just examples), it isn't a nice party, it's a chosen aesthetic.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

6 year olds
shard5 · 09/12/2022 18:15

So they've probably gotten super stressed to show their followers on social media how good a party they can throw
Please don't compare yourself to others, you'll never feel satisfied otherwise.
If the time comes and DD does say something then you'll have to explain how everybody does things differently, no one's way is wrong and this is how we do it.

LIZS · 09/12/2022 18:16

Honestly the kids don't care. One bouncy castle is very like another. Kids wolf down their favourite snacks, play , blow out candles , job done. It all sounds like an extravagant faff.

inappropriateraspberry · 09/12/2022 18:17

That grey party looks awful, the Spider-Man one looks too expensive and the children won't appreciate it, whatever that buffet thing is looks disgusting and is not child friendly food.
As long as your son and his friends enjoy it and have fun, that's all that matters.

LIZS · 09/12/2022 18:17

And the number of fb posts I've seen offering balloon arches and numbers a day later, what a waste.

TiaraBoo · 09/12/2022 18:19

Is the point of the party for DS and friends to:

a) have the best time bouncing, chasing a balloon shrieking their heads off and eating tons of cake or
b) to have a v tasteful picture of a kids party table, preferable with no actual children in it in case the table is disturbed

APurpleSquirrel · 09/12/2022 18:19

My DC are 8 & 4 - I've been to quite a few children's birthday parties in the past 8 years - none of them like you've described. Most have been held at local village halls/soft play/home/local attractions/park.
There have been bouncy castles at some; a few characters etc & some have been themed.

ShirleyPhallus · 09/12/2022 18:19

Gynaesaur · 09/12/2022 18:12

Yes to it being for the benefit of the adults.
I'd go a step further and say that the obsession with trying to turn childhoods into a series of insta-perfect photo opportunities is very much to the detriment of children. Whatever that grey and white picture is meant to show (I know OP said these were just examples), it isn't a nice party, it's a chosen aesthetic.

Show quote history

That grey and white picture is totally bog standard soft play hire

iklboo · 09/12/2022 18:22

I know the kids don't care now. But I just feel like I'm looked upon as the one with a shit party

If people think that they're shallow arseholes & not worth bothering with or about.

ThanksAntsThants · 09/12/2022 18:27

Ha, this is sarcasm, right?

Rainraindontgoaway · 09/12/2022 18:29

Honestly, kids parties are not normally like the photos you have posted, these are extreme. Do your parties your way and let the show offs crack on with it.

Lapland123 · 09/12/2022 18:30

You. Cannot. Be. Serious.

SomethingNastyInTheBallPool · 09/12/2022 18:33

Seriously?

Hayliebells · 09/12/2022 18:34

Urgh, this is why I don’t do social media. Just think of all the money those parents have wasted, just for the photos. The kids don’t care if everything is colour coordinated or if there’s a sodding ballon arch. The photos don’t even matter beyond the social media likes, when the kids look back on the photos when older, they’ll just be happy to see they had a smile on their face at their 4th birthday party, they won’t care about the decor then either. I’m surprised you know so many who go over the top in this way tbh, I only know a couple of people who would do this sort of thing. The vast majority of people I know just have pretty big standard kids parties in a largely undecorated church hall, possibly with some sort of entertainment, or a bouncy castle. I’ve never seen a four tier (or any tier) cake at a kids birthday party! I suggest you look for new, normal friends, if hanging with this lot make you feel bad.

WhiteFire · 09/12/2022 18:44

Everyone seems to have missed the most important aspect in all these fancy parties, it has truly thrown open the 'do I feed the adults?' debate.

Original poster
chasseslady · 09/12/2022 19:26

WhiteFire · 09/12/2022 18:44

Everyone seems to have missed the most important aspect in all these fancy parties, it has truly thrown open the 'do I feed the adults?' debate.

Well the answer would be yes!

OP posts:
SuburbanMummy123 · 09/12/2022 19:29

I judge the ‘picture ready’ parties as being too flashy and about the adults/social media. Would much much rather your party

Dogsinthecradle · 09/12/2022 19:30

Honest to god,my mother is the queen of kids parties

her rules are
let them run round
a few party games-party child must not win it I wasn’t bothered if they did or not
feed them-mainly party rings and egg sandwiches with the odd bit of token cucumber
stuff them full of as much sugar as they can eat without chucking up
let them run round again
cut the (not insta perfect)shit looking,home made cake which is 90% sugar-my teeth used to melt just looking at it
pop cake in their party bags and send them home with their parents-for some reason she’d always put a whistle in the bag…
Tidy the hall and go home to a g&t and a well earned rest

my lot are grown up now but their old school friends tell me they loved our parties as they had fun,burnt energy and fell into a sugar coma at home

i don’t think balloon arches and Spider-Man would have made a difference to the fun or not

Rainbowqueeen · 09/12/2022 19:31

The kind of picture ready party you talk about are climate change disasters and should be discouraged.

They are also focused on the parents feelings about themselves, not their DC. Your party sounds lovely.

Newbaby1234 · 09/12/2022 19:34

Not quite the same but I felt a bit like this after my sons 1st birthday. We had simple decorations, a cake and some sandwiches at home with about 5 people. No arches, no soft play hire, no massive food spreads, not loads of people etc. I'm quite introverted, it was winter and I was not going to hire a hall for a 1st birthday party!
However, 4 other parties we went to were all out, like crazy. It made me feel like a pants mum.

Choconut · 09/12/2022 19:36

Picture ready parties are entirely for the parents to impress with. They are nothing about the kids. Do your party for the birthday boy and don't raise your dd to be so shallow and think grazing tables and such shite are in anyway important in life. Keep away from those shallow and vacuous people if this is what they value in life.

DappledThings · 09/12/2022 19:38

Your party sounds great. The other ones sound wanky and silly.

DappledThings · 09/12/2022 19:39

WhiteFire · 09/12/2022 18:44

Everyone seems to have missed the most important aspect in all these fancy parties, it has truly thrown open the 'do I feed the adults?' debate.

Definitely not. There is always a ton of pizza/sandwiches/crisps left over for the adults to graze on. No further catering required other than tea and coffee