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Original poster

Feel shit that I haven't done a picture ready party for DD

113 replies

chasseslady · 09/12/2022 17:12

DS is 6.

He has severe special needs but he's beautiful and has come on a lot recently, despite profound disability

I have friends I've met through DD (a baby), and they had children a similar age to my DS.

I've been invited to 2 of their parties and came along to both, with just DD (they also have babies)

Anyway, their parties were amazing and photo ready

Balloon arches, colour coordinated to suit the theme. One had a superhero party, but it was 'tastefully' done in blue and red muted tones

3 tier cakes. Professionally done and looking amazing

Special guest appearances (Peppa pig, and one had Spider-Man)

DJ and childrens entertainer.

The bouncy castle in the theme of the party. The toddler soft play they've rented is a tasteful colour.

A very aesthetically pleasing grazing table

Party bags with each guest's name on

My party for DS is... a red velvet cake from Costco (his favourite), a generic bouncy castle that I don't actually know the colour of until it's delivered, and a random selection of foods I've laid out

I just feel shit. I know DS will love it but what about DD? Assuming she has no development issues, she will want me to pull out all the stops and won't she look back and wonder why I didn't, when everyone else's partners did?

As a 90's kid I loved my 'basic butch' parties but everyone had the same. I just feel so down Blush not sure why I'm posting Sad

Feel shit that I haven't done a picture ready party for DD
Feel shit that I haven't done a picture ready party for DD
Feel shit that I haven't done a picture ready party for DD
OP posts:
CellarBellaatemycoal · 09/12/2022 19:43

Jelly. Ice cream. Balloons. Pass the parcel wrapped in newspaper. Music. Loved ones. And a focus on the birthday kid. These are the ingredients for a perfect party!

fortheloveofcheesecake · 09/12/2022 19:47

saveforthat · 09/12/2022 17:20

For goodness sake. Your children are loved and you have made an effort to give them a party. That's enough. What child wants a colour coordinated party. When I was young my Mum put aside some money every week by giving to the shopkeeper to get me a tiny tears lookalike doll from the corner shop. ( She couldn't afford the real tiny tears). I still remember that, I was so pleased with the doll. I was about 5. I'm 63 now. Step away from people who do everything for the photos and enjoy experiences with your children. Best wishes

This is lovely. Your mum must have been so pleased that you loved and appreciated that doll so much.

CarefreeMe · 09/12/2022 20:09

I literally hate these sorts of parties which are more about impressing other adults than the poor kids.

I was regularly told that my DDs parties or play dates were always the most fun out of everyone’s and I genuinely think it’s because I didn’t care what anyone else thought or what the photos would be like and I just let them have fun like kids should.

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6 year olds
Lcb123 · 09/12/2022 20:17

Honestly try and stay away from this obsession with how things look online. As long as your kids are happy that’s all that matters. Balloon arches are a massive waste of money and plastic!

MumofSpud · 09/12/2022 20:33

That grazing table looks horrific! I can almost see the germs from here!

Isthatascratchonmygrandmother · 09/12/2022 20:39

You are in the majority. Trust me.

underneaththeash · 09/12/2022 20:49

Unfortunately this…I assume it’s the big weird lips and tattooed eyebrows brigade.

MorrisZapp · 09/12/2022 21:03

Oh come off it. You know nobody here is going to encourage insta bragging

Misty999 · 09/12/2022 21:15

I've never done anything like this for my kids and i'd never pay £100 + for a cake it's madness . Good old fashioned party food a few balloons and your away, £15 supermarket cake and a few drinks for adults. You can get a ballon arch for a tenner if you want one don't worry about it your kid will love whatever you do x I have attended lots of party's like the ones you referring to I find it all a bit naff and forced.

Testina · 09/12/2022 21:15

That “grazing table” looks a fucking mess even before people’s hands are into it 🤢 🤣

Tasteful colour coordination has no place at a child’s party!

I have attended many styles of party of the years - though to be fair none as wankily pretentious as a grazing table 🤣 - and after every one my child has run out giddy proclaiming it the best ever!

Testina · 09/12/2022 21:17

I’m actually really sad for you for even having the phrase, “picture ready party”.

Hesleepswiththefishes · 09/12/2022 21:20

Who’s the party for…you?? A six yr old wants to run around laughing full of sugar

this is so Un relatable I can’t even get my head around it

what are you worried about, lack of flair, budget not stretching? What about it being a fun party?

shard5 · 09/12/2022 21:24

Dogsinthecradle · 09/12/2022 19:30

Honest to god,my mother is the queen of kids parties

her rules are
let them run round
a few party games-party child must not win it I wasn’t bothered if they did or not
feed them-mainly party rings and egg sandwiches with the odd bit of token cucumber
stuff them full of as much sugar as they can eat without chucking up
let them run round again
cut the (not insta perfect)shit looking,home made cake which is 90% sugar-my teeth used to melt just looking at it
pop cake in their party bags and send them home with their parents-for some reason she’d always put a whistle in the bag…
Tidy the hall and go home to a g&t and a well earned rest

my lot are grown up now but their old school friends tell me they loved our parties as they had fun,burnt energy and fell into a sugar coma at home

i don’t think balloon arches and Spider-Man would have made a difference to the fun or not

I love your mother's approach.
A whistle! That must have driven the parents crazy lol!

ODFOx · 09/12/2022 21:27

Photo-ready in in the eye of the beholder. The beholder is the person behind the camera, not the attendees.
I have put 5 DC through the party process, and have had 'best party ever' feedback on 11 occasions.
All you need for 'best party ever' (with hindsight) is something fun and unique (I mean one thing that the guests haven't seen before and it doesn't need to be instaworthy, expensive or bought in.
At no point has 'best party ever' in my experience has 'photo worthy' been mentioned. You can take 'OMG How happy does everyone look' pictures during the party or ''How cute are these party bags' pictures before they arrive: the pictures bear no relationship to how good a time the children have.
You have planned the party that your DS wants. If you have made something perfect for him then the party is perfect.
When your DD is older if she wants something more 'current popular style' then do that for her.
You sound like a great Mum 👍

Dogsinthecradle · 09/12/2022 21:27

shard5 · 09/12/2022 21:24

I love your mother's approach.
A whistle! That must have driven the parents crazy lol!

Show quote history

Shed had loads of practice with us 4 kids (last two where twins) and then 7 grandchildren

the twins had been given a whistle each at a birthday party one year at another child’s party

she couldn’t get revenge on that parent so her attitude was ‘if I had to suffer,so does every bugger else’ lol

shard5 · 09/12/2022 21:29

😂🤣😂

Itstheimplication · 09/12/2022 21:32

Last year my two year old had a light up balloon and a cake. No party as his birthday is near Christmas.

year before we were in lockdown.

this year a tiny tea party at my mums as everyone will be busy. It won’t be photo ready and I will be spending the moment in the moment not taking pictures so I don’t care about that. He will love it as he will still be the centre of attention, have all the things he loves and be surrounded by people he loves.

he hasn’t ever been invited to parties yet as he hasn’t really made any friends yet and hasn’t been in nursery long, and I’m sure some of them will be fancy when he does and others not so much. Don’t feel bad OP you said yourself he will love the cake - kids don’t give a shit if something is instagram perfect they love bright colours and things they don’t normally have - so a bouncy castle sounds amazing.

Gunner1510 · 09/12/2022 21:36

Your party sounds more fun. Does not matter what it looks like, it’s your kids party so the main thing is it’s fun and they enjoy it, not that it looks good.

I get so sick of all this perfectly curated shite for insta and the likes. Yeah looks good but when does or can anyone actually enjoy it? After they’ve taken the first 10 photos, or the first 100?! I actually rejoice when I can go out and there’s no one glued to their phone taking constant perfectly staged photos!!!

VirginiaQ · 09/12/2022 21:37

'Comparison is the thief of joy.'

Children don't care about 'photo ready parties' and co ordinating colours!!!

They want to do something fun with their friends and be made to feel a bit special and that's it!

qpmz · 09/12/2022 22:01

You say your son will love your party and your daughter is a baby so will know no different. Why do you feel so bad?

ButterCrackers · 09/12/2022 22:05

I’m surprised by how wasteful it all looks. It will all be binned afterwards, items such as the balloons, food, table decorations. Such a waste. Who cares about this picture ready? The parents? The kids? Not something I have given a thought to. Just let the kids have a great time with some party games and a craft activity depending on age plus some music. A cake from the supermarket that you can add decorations. A party bag of sweets. All done with care to allergy and ingredient requirements. A great time had by all.
Your party will be great.

rosemarysalter · 10/12/2022 07:43

Those parties you pictured are a big pile of pretentious wank

Ive never seen anything like this for a kids party. Your version sounds more normal

rosemarysalter · 10/12/2022 07:49

The grazing board is
Obsecene

Kids want a ham sandwiche and crisps. Not posh crackers and salami

lemmein · 10/12/2022 07:53

Kids don't give a shit about this...they really don't, nor should they!

Autumnisclose · 10/12/2022 07:58

Stand out from the crowd and do your own thing. Why be a sheep with a Instagram ready colour coordinated party?

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