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Original poster

I shoplifted today and I'm kicking myself so much

128 replies

Shittyperson · 09/12/2022 16:51

..and I don't know why, or what I was thinking.

I could have bought the item. It wasn't something I needed either.

It was a tester tube of concealer in a department store. I had to wait around for my online order to be found, saw the concealer and had a sudden urge to put it in my pocket.

I regretted it as soon as I left the shop and wanted to go back in to apologise but bottled it.

I haven't done anything like that before and wouldn't again, but what the fuck is wrong with me that I would risk being arrested for something as pointless as a tester tube of concealer I didn't need.

There's no excuse.

I'm going to have to go back and show my face aren't I? Can I pay for it, even though they don't sell the testers?

NC for obv reasons. I'm a regular. MN could verify.

OP posts:
Citycentre3 · 09/12/2022 18:54

I have swapped concealers before. My very expensive concealer was running out. So I swapped it for the very full tester one. It was a rare random moment and I have never done it since.

How does that fare on the naughty scale?
.

Janieread · 09/12/2022 19:03

BorderlineBagpuss · 09/12/2022 18:52

Used to work as a criminal barrister and there are a surprising amount of middle aged women who shoplift. Usually looking for a frisson when something is missing. You’re unhappy with something. I’d dig deeper…

I'm amazed middle aged shoplifters appeared before criminal barristers.

jtaeapa · 09/12/2022 19:04

Don't go back, it'll make things worse. Just carry on with your life and don't do it again.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Beauty
windmill4865 · 09/12/2022 19:04

You don't need to put it back in place. Just go into the store and drop it on the floor. Job done !.. And then let it go. x

Janieread · 09/12/2022 19:05

ILoveeCakes · 09/12/2022 18:23

What if you were recorded and they stop you next time you go into the shop? In front of everyone.

Oh fgs. Like that would ever happen 😂😂😂

Lovageandrose · 09/12/2022 19:06

Which brand of makeup was it?

Janieread · 09/12/2022 19:06

windmill4865 · 09/12/2022 19:04

You don't need to put it back in place. Just go into the store and drop it on the floor. Job done !.. And then let it go. x

Don't for goodness sake bother going back. Chuck it in the bin and have a glass of wine.

BorderlineBagpuss · 09/12/2022 19:07

I agree, but usually when charged they would ask to be represented by someone of their choosing, ( paying privately ) so that’s when they crossed our paths. I met 5/6 during my career and all of them bar none were stay at home wives who had disinterested husbands and though I didn’t connect the dots at the time I would say looking back they were menopausal.

XanaduKira · 09/12/2022 19:10

Prescottdanni123 · 09/12/2022 17:37

Another one saying get yourself checked by a gp, especially if you start feeling these urges again. And go easy on yourself. I hope you get to the bottom of why this happened.

This can also be aligned with menopause Op, so I agree that if it's totally out of character and you get future urges, see your GP.

TERRRYsnotmine · 09/12/2022 19:12

Lovageandrose · 09/12/2022 19:06

Which brand of makeup was it?

Only on MN 🤣🤣🤣

StaunchMomma · 09/12/2022 19:18

You need to learn from this and make sure you never do it again.

That said, if it was an actual tester then I doubt very much you would get in trouble for it. Not that it's ok to steal testers, but be thankful you didn't feel the 'urge' to steal a high end item that will cost the business.

Maybe have a think about what you can do to make sure that urge never creeps in again.

Fleurdaisy · 09/12/2022 19:20

Bin it. If you return it it’ll probably be binned anyway as could have been contaminated. Giving an excuse will cause you more stress, so don’t do it.
There’s always a reason for every behaviour, you seem to be dealing with a lot atm. Start with treating the things that are troubling you.

Justnosing · 09/12/2022 19:20

Is there something in the water on MN today? People getting worked up about the most ridiculous things. The store will survive. Calm down.

Comedycook · 09/12/2022 19:21

Don't take it back. It's not an item for sale. I doubt they will even put it back on the shelf to be used as a tester now someone has taken it away from the shop...health and safety reasons.

You should get help though.

BlackKittyMama · 09/12/2022 19:21

I had a period of doing this when I was in my early teens. It became repetitive, compulsive and quite obsessive. It was always stuff I didn’t want or need, and it caused me an incredible amount of guilt after the event. In the end I was caught bagging a £1.50 eyeliner in Superdrug when I was 15 I was cautioned. It really shook me up and I ended up having therapy for kleptomania/anxiety. In hindsight I believe it all started following trauma I experienced when I was 8-9 years old. Fortunately I stopped the stealing but I have had anxiety and depression throughout my life.

Are there any potential triggers for this? How is your mental health? Try not to ignore it as it could escalate.

Zone2NorthLondon · 09/12/2022 19:27

I always think posters who recommend immediate and full on contrition with penance , humiliation and shame are vinyl clad dominatrix pretending to be all worthy,moral and pious on mumsnet. Only on mumsnet would folk demand you return a tester and warn that your theft has been detected and image has been circulated to security. Retail security are usually disinterested and couldn’t run a bath. Staff are not counting testers daily and security are not sat poised over the cctv on off chance you reappear

Comedycook · 09/12/2022 19:33

Agree @Zone2NorthLondon if the op returns it, the cashier will most probably look at her like she's mad, mumble a thanks, then chuck it in the bin. One poster on the first page of this thread said they'd be pleased to have it returned...I mean really!

Zone2NorthLondon · 09/12/2022 19:37

The made up scenarios and what ifs on here defy belief. The op needs to just acknowledge she had a bad day and do nowt further

Ilovelurchers · 09/12/2022 19:39

As others have said, please don't worry OP. This is a non-issue. Even if you had by some astonishing coincidence been caught, you would not have ended up with a criminal record.

On MN many people are extremely concerned about property and regard this kind of petty theft as akin to mass murder - but in the Real World as inhabited by me at least I know a number of nice people who do lots of good in the world who also sometimes shoplift from big stores. It's not the same as stealing from someone vulnerable or in need, is it?

Not sure why people think you should throw it away either - very wasteful - far better for the planet if you actually use it!

If you feel really bad then just don't do it again! But seriously, it's a victimless crime - let it go!

DepIndoChridmadWidMe · 09/12/2022 19:40

Is there something in the water on MN today? People getting worked up about the most ridiculous things

Sounds like just another day on MN to me.

BrightSaturn · 09/12/2022 19:41

theemmadilemma · 09/12/2022 16:56

If you've never done it before and it was a real impluse thing I would see your Doctor.

Kleptomania is a mental disorder and can be caused by low serotonin, anxiety and other causes. Are you under particular stress at the moment?

This is a giant leap.

bingobanjo · 09/12/2022 19:42

You’ve confessed it here to us, so I hope it’s off your chest. You’re under a lot of stress and have done a strange out of character thing, it happens to all of us. I’ve never stolen but I sometimes say really weird things, usually at work, causing myself problems and I always end up thinking what the hell was that!

I would just bin it and forget about it. Don’t feel guilty, what’s done is done. Let’s agree now that if you ever do it again, you have to return the item to the shop. But I would definitely excuse you this one random lapse in judgement.

oakleaffy · 09/12/2022 19:43

@Shittyperson
Hope your test results are ok.

I'd guess it's stress related?
It's a useless item, of zero monetary value.
Just put it back, and forget about it.

Original poster
Shittyperson · 09/12/2022 19:43

I've never heard of poor mental health being a pre cursor for shoplifting, is that really a thing?

I felt so shit about it I had to unburden myself to DH who if anything made me feel even worse, saying how bad it is. He works in retail and has probably had it up to his eyeballs of shop lifters.

I've had a bit of a cry at the comments. I expected to have my arse handed to me. Thank you.

I don't think it matters what brand it is but it was under £15 to buy the actual boxed and for sale item. Make of that what you will.

I think I'll do as suggested and just bin it, I'll also make a donation to charity.

OP posts:
oakleaffy · 09/12/2022 19:45

Zone2NorthLondon · 09/12/2022 19:27

I always think posters who recommend immediate and full on contrition with penance , humiliation and shame are vinyl clad dominatrix pretending to be all worthy,moral and pious on mumsnet. Only on mumsnet would folk demand you return a tester and warn that your theft has been detected and image has been circulated to security. Retail security are usually disinterested and couldn’t run a bath. Staff are not counting testers daily and security are not sat poised over the cctv on off chance you reappear

Agreed.
I saw some shoplifting recently, the staff noticed, and just chased the thieves out..they said ''they come in every day, but what can we do?''

Obviously I won't mention the shop, but the staff get abused by the theives.

It really did shock me how powerless they were.