Petty things that annoy you on Mumsnet.

[PettyAndIKnowIt]

What little things on MN annoy you more than they should?

People responding to others on a thread but not quoting them so I have to scroll back pages and hunt for the comment that they were responding to.

People referring to 3 and 4 year olds as toddlers.

If someone's posts annoy me and their name involves something that I love, then that bothers me even more.

The one poster who always responds to a "What's your favourite episode of a show? or What's your favourite dish from the Chinese takeaway?or similar threads by informing us how much they hate takeaways or wouldn't watch said show if they had a gun held to their head.

The phrase "Give your head a wobble." It's utterly infuriating.

Yup.

Lots of people with dyslexia (ableist to pull them up)
Lots of people who for no fault of their own didn't have the greatest education. (Classist)

And it's petty & cruel & makes people some feel like they can't join in.
My lovely (young mum) neighbour v v dyslexic came on here for advice about nappy rash & health visitor being not nice worry - it was her first post, about 6 posters criticised her spelling & one poster even said (and I quote)
"Bet the health visitor can spell though OP" vile.

I also hate it when people labour on with 'they' when referring to a known person without any kind of gender/trans/preferred pronoun issues - just a completely 'standard' man or woman but still a 'they'. I think people sometimes do it to counteract the perceived MN 'women always right/men always wrong' trope; but it kind of gives it away that, by your doing it, the sexes are clearly going to be not the way people will probably assume.

It annoys me because if you don't think we're capable of assessing the situation fairly, why are you asking us at all?

Fudging the sexes like that draws more attention to them.

I am afraid I don’t like the swearing nothing I can do about it though.

A 3 year old is a toddler

Then another and another, like a pigeon using MSN. And the first post wasn’t even that interesting. Makes me want to shout “FFS, stop posting!

Sorry but this just made me laugh out loud, I just had to say

People who don’t comeback to let us know the outcome (where applicable obviously).

3yos are toddlers aren’t they? I thought 0-1 was baby, 1-3 toddler and 3+ preschooler/infant.

You're right in that 1-3 is a toddler, that's 12 months to 36 months but once they reach 3 they're no longer a toddler but a preschooler or child hence the 3+.

I love the idea of a pigeon using MSN though they couldn't possibly be worse than me.

Anyone who starts a post stating how long they have been on MN. Nobody cares, it does make your post superior to others. What really makes me want to murder people, is when they validate their claim by quoting a MN Classic.

Saying that 2/3/4 year olds are 'just babies' to defend their bad behaviour (or their parents' bad parenting)
PFB mothers
Jumping to defend a mother's (poor) actions, yet pillaging a man if he does the exact same thing
saying 'maybe he/she has special needs' as the go-to answer for everything

Ooh, another! (Thanks, OP – this thread is like a nice blood-letting.)

In any squabble about the environment or sustainability, the posters who think it’s an amazing gotcha to write: “I assume you’re vegan, don’t fly, drive or heat your house, are child-free, and live in a yurt hand-knitted from quinoa.” What an interesting and original discussion point!

Alot, abit, beable...

I always think they sound like they should be Dickens characters - Constance Abit, Jeremiah Beable etc.!

People who make an AIBU thread where it's obvious there's only one appropriate answer, like "AIBU to think this nasty abusive house guest who trashed my house, is in the wrong?".

That reminds me of an old Smashie & Nicey sketch, where they were soliciting listeners' to phone in with their view on the 'difficult' dilemma of "Should we preserve areas of great naaaaduraal beauty.... or should we muck 'em up with old shopping trolleys and mudguards and stuff?"

The word ‘outwith’.

What on earth is wrong with it?

It's posters assuming that everybody must be English (I'm English) - usually from the south of England. The same people who will rebuke an English Midlander or Northerner for referring to their evening meal as 'tea' and claim that they're genuinely confused when somebody refers to sitting down at 6pm to eat what they will only ever accept as meaning a hot drink.

People using American spellings and expressions are also frequently berated for being 'wrong' - by people who apparently don't seem to grasp the basic concept that the internet is worldwide - and the poster very well may be one of our many valued American MNers (or somebody without English as a first language who doesn't know the unimportant nuances).

listeners'

Random apostrophe there?!

My almost three year old has additional needs, is still in nappies, and still very much relies on a nap to get him through the day. I'd say he's still a toddler. And actually he didn't start 'toddling' until he was eighteen months old.

The awful judgemental replies to some who are genuinely asking for advice.
The "England bashing". The notion that Scottish, Irish., Welsh is a race.
The stereotyping. If you vote Tory and read the daily mail you are automatically the worst possible far right extremist gammon.
Vote Labour and you are pure in heart and soul
Dressing girls in pink and boys in blue is an absolute no-no.
Don't you dare buy a little boy a football, you must buy him pink ballet shoes, whether he wants them or not.
Middle class folk doing recreational drugs is fine, no worries about the County lines 12 year old kids who are delivering it to your nice detached home in the 'burbs.
I could continue but frankly I cba!!

Oh another... when someone makes a statement about what MN 'thinks', which is annoying enough, but usually it's so inaccurate, e.g. "Well this is MN, where people don't let tradesmen use their loo" In fact, one or two may say this, then 300 others tell them they're unreasonable. Somehow, though, it is the tiny unreasonable minority who represent MN opinion.

Or "If a woman does blah, she's told it's OK; when someone's DH does it he's unreasonable. Such double standards on MN"

As if there are not lots of different posters with different views.

Oh, I hate the ‘double standards’ post. They always miss that posters aren’t one hive mind and that situations reversed are rarely the same. But I don’t think that counts as a ‘petty’ annoyance.

Similar to that are the ones where someone posts something innocuous about eating meat "AIBu to be annoyed that DH didn't cook my steak how I like it?" for example, and you'll get the posters popping up to tell everyone that eating meat is evil and if they'd had a quorn steak this wouldn't even be a problem. Do they not realise that it doesn't help their cause at all?!?!

"Cool Wives"

"Give your head a wobble."
"You do you."
"I was today years old..."
"Are you getting help with your anxiety?"
"Didn't want to read and run..."

OPs asking for opinions on baby names and other posters getting stroppy if the names the OP is considering receive negative responses.

Posters who don't bother to check the OP's updates before they offer advice or reiterate advice that dozens of other posters have already given.

People who respond to a long thread after only reading the first post.

Usually by that point the OP has added several more posts giving further details and has already cancelled the cheque, but these people are so important that they can't be expected to read the whole thread and most post their (now completely redundant) opinion right away.

If people are just discussing environment issues or whatever fine, but when people just lecturing others about their choices then yeah I do think they are hypocritical because of the lecture if they are not perfect themselves

I agree with so many of these. Another is when posters go to extremes when someone posts about their neighbours' child kicking a football against their wooden fence for 4 hours a day, there's always someone who posts that they'd rather did that than go out mugging old ladies, as though those are the only two options. Likewise posts about noise at the theatre or a restaurant, as if there's no line between a child screaming and running around the whole time and being gagged and put into a strait jacket.

People who are “confused” about wrong words just to be a dick.

I’ll never forget the thread where the OP had been physically assaulted by her partner. It was basically an “oh shit” mind dump of the way their life had just imploded. They had recently bought a house, all her money went into the deposit, but it was in his name as she wasn’t working. The poor OP had basically realised she was in an awful situation. However, they said “we’ve just brought a house. All my money in is it but it’s just in his name”. It was very clear what was meant.

One snide tosser felt it appropriate to say “I’m confused - where did you bring your house?” Then later made a couple of nasty posts supposedly realising what was meant.

Its just completely unnecessary. And they’re not the only one to do it. That one just stands out.

Oh and ASD being suggested as the cause of any behaviour outside of a very narrow stream of ‘normal’. Saw a post the other day where OP is pushing for diagnosis because her daughter is clumsy and a bit inconsiderate. Nobody can have any traits/quirks/foibles any more without it being ASD.