Lifeboat Muster Point for TalkExiles - Thread 2

[Kucingsparkles]

Continuation of previous thread.

Gather here all ye refugees from the foundering ship of JTT, if ye be in need of "How the heck do I format my post?" "Why can't I edit my typos?" "What do those acronyms mean?" and most importantly, "Where is everybody that I used to know?"

Or just to chat randomly.

Pike, I noticed how other posters behaved towards you at the other place and it looked to me like typical, nasty playground bullying.

Oh it absolutely was but I've always been happy and able to stand up for myself, so the bullying attempts never bothered me too much. The only thing about it all that rankles is knowing I was being moderated differently to some others, and I'm pretty confident some of those in charge of moderation were also involved in the playground bullying.

It's such a shame to see what a great and diverse community turned into at the end but maybe that the the way of the world and we just have to accept it? The only thing that worries me going forward would be if this style of written word forum disappeared completely. I don't get Tik Tok or Instagram, or at least I think they are largely about entertainment rather than discussion, and that's fine for those that want that but I like talking and listening to people.

Anyway, to repeat once again, thank god for Mumsnet, and those of you who came over, wish I'd moved over here a year or two ago.

What I used to like about the old place was that I felt I almost "knew" the posters there, because it was such a small board and we'd all been there for yonks. But that was also what spoiled it, as said above.

MN is great because there are so many areas and so many posters with all kinds of knowledge (and ways of thinking, and politics, etc etc).

I was musing about MN recently and realised I've actually been a member of MN for much longer than I thought - I discovered it whilst on maternity leave, lurked for a couple of years, and finally joined in order to ask a question about something specific and toddler-related. So, it turns out, I've been on here for about a decade!

But in general, I just lurked. I didn't start posting regularly until Brexit - and specifically because the old place basically had only one view on Brexit, meaning that it was almost impossible to get any other points of view. (NB: Nothing I've seen so far has suggested that Brexit is anything but a colossal act of delusional self-harm, but I still think it's important to at least acknowledge other points of view, rather than pretend they're so horrific that they ought not to exist).

Ginmonkeyagain · Today 07:08

"I had noticed for a while in the other place there was an increasing lack of intellectual curiosity. Positions and ideas have been set and everything informed through personal political lens."

Yes, particularly so on The Thread of Evil. As I saw it, there would be a calm, reasoned post, with a link containing statistics. A TROSH would arrive, have a meltdown, spout a load emotive bollocks, without ever looking at the linked article, before disappearing in a cloud of:
You're all so hateful! You are murdering trans kids! You deserve to be sacked and die in a puddle!

Well that was usually from a small clutch of posters who were IMO always deeply deeply stupid and belligerant.

I was thinking more of people who are bright and curious but for whom JTT became for a pub conversation, a chat with friends, a cosy place to repeat and afirm the same agreed comforting mantras. There is no shame in that at all and it has supported a lot of people (including me) through dark and difficult times. But if that is what you want to the extent of shutting down and demonising posters who are happy to have more challenging discussions in a different part of the board, then be honest about what it is you want - a nice place to talk about nice things with your friends, not a lively, intelligent community commited to robust debate and free speech.

Gin

...be honest about what it is you want - a nice place to talk about nice things with your friends, not a lively, intelligent community commited to robust debate and free speech.

That's very fair comment, especially as the charter says it's for all kinds of discussion, from whimsical to serious.

In Nick Hornby's book, and later the film, HIgh Fidelity, the main character talks about former girlfriends or would be girlfriends. There is one in particular, played by Catherine Zeta Jones, who the main character remembers as this amazing, high flying, high achieving, stunningly popular woman whose orbit he always felt unworthy to be in.

He gets in touch with her years later and is invited to a dinner party, which he attends, not believing his luck to be included with the beautiful people. Only when he gets there and takes part, his wiser and older eyes can see that what he thought was charming and witty people, full of intelligent conversation, are in fact a bunch of the most self absorbed, narcissistic, up their own arsehole wankers, that he can't understand why he ever thought they were the beautiful people in the first place?

I have of late, and I mean over the last year or two not just recently, come to the same conclusion about GUT and its offspring.

I guess we all change.

That describes the situation very well, pike. JTT seemed quite cool at one time, but now it's full of egotistical nobs.

Missing a "k" there, Tricyrtis ... or is nobs short for nobodies?

You're correct, Gonners. Knobs with extra knobs on them.

Some wise words there. A lot of people don't want 'challenging', they just want a chat or a chance to make a stupid joke. Which is fine. But there's no reason why the serious and the chatty can't be in the same place; MN does it, after all. The old place clearly wasn't able to. There's plenty of good people there, but scales have fallen from eyes about certain individuals.

Meh, I think maybe uk news was a bit like that. Most of my people avoided it like the plague and just had a naice time chatting naicely with friends on various chat threads.

Bored with the snow now, and feeling stir crazy as the road is still impassable for non-4WDs. I have one small serving of cat biscuits left (for the cats, not me) and just enough milk left for today’s gallon of tea - all out of coffee too, which I don’t take with milk. Also out of washing up liquid and black peppercorns! Ordered some logs, although he won’t be able to deliver them until it thaws, pencilled in for Saturday as Friday’s supposed to get up to 7C, positively balmy. But there’s a shoulder of lamb in the freezer and frozen roasties so we’ll manage, particularly as we have several packs of duty-free baccy.

Freezing cold here, and off work with Strep throat. Good excuse to get stuck into writing and wrapping cards and presents. I think there's a bit more to do, but feel like I've mostly cracked it.
I have one problem, one of my nieces is expecting her first born anyday, and I have a bundle of presents ready to go. I am holding back as I don't want to tempt fate. Curiously enough, said niece, who usually sees eye to eye with me, took umbrage this year, before she knew she was pregnant, when we shared what we were reading. I told her it was Kathleen Stock's Material Girls. Her view was ardently expressed, and that transwomen were women. The usual objections and no matter how I countered them, she dismissed me. Sadly, she left a little bit early and definitely in a huff with me. Couldn't look me in the eye. I was definitely TWRSOH.
I was suprised when later she told me that she was expecting a girl.
I said nothing. Oh how I wanted to.

Oh no, family dynamics can be a minefield, can't they?

Glad you're nearly sorted with the move, pike. We bought our place a few years ago - we were already living in it and the landlord decided to sell. We agreed a fair price and I set about selling my London flat to shift the mortgage across to this house. The buyer spent almost five months fucking around after we'd agreed a price and we only completed less than a week before my mortgage offer expired - I would have struggled to get a new offer as my employment status had changed in the meantime. The last few weeks of that were horrendous, daily emails to the solicitors, checking my phone every five minutes. When it all works out, it's such a relief.

Yes, sinner. I was suprised though she was on board for accepting gender assignment in the womb, and not even waiting for birth. I mean you either believe this stuff or you don't?

Just walked into town to run a few errands and was surprised at how cold I felt. Mooched in a few shops that were well heated, which was a relief. On the walk home I felt a great deal warmer but the temperature hadn't changed. Shows how you need to keep moving in winter. I'll be mainly working outside the rest of the week in this 'no hanging about' weather.

The girl on the till in our mini Sainsburys was wearing gloves, just moments ago. It was quite cold in there, with the door opening constantly. She told me it had been -4° when she left home at 1pm.

The smaller shops in town were perishing this morning, paticlarly a few newly built ones - the older smaller lower ceilinged ones were cozier- but Lidl had two extra large heaters (bottle gas I think) directed at the checkout staff, which was good to see. By the time I drove home the temperature had climbed all the way to 0.

@Sashohoho that's a really difficult one. I've only discussed it with two of my closest friends; one is staunchly reality-based and the other is on the fence. I must admit the on the fence-ness can be quite frustrating but I try to respect her views as much as I can and remind myself it's not for me to try to convince her one way or the other. I think I could agree to disagree with most people but not sure about a full-on TWAW allies.

I had to cross a very treacherous sheet of ice this morning and I did wonder at the halfway point if I was going to make it to the other side. I have a real fear of ice since I had a very nasty fall a few years ago.

Currently studying with the heat pad on and struggling with my hands which aren't working very well at the moment, not helped at all by the cold. Ordered myself a pair of those Turtle Doves gloves for around the house... hoping they'll arrive before the striking chaos.

I haven’t ventured out at all today but the snow is still very much in evidence. It’s gone from my front garden which faces south(ish) but in the back garden the lawn remains mostly white. It’s not that warm in the house even though the heating is on. If this turns out to be a taste of the winter to come, keeping my mum warm is going to be crazily expensive.

Speaking of which, never understood what the term 'south-facing' mean. Most Google defs were tautologies, but I eventually found a diagram to explain it. So it's actually referring to the rear of the house, not the front. As a pic with a swimming pool in the garden makes clear. Anyway, based on that, it seems my little terraced house (no pool, or even garden come to that) is apparently south-west facing, which I gather is considered ideal. So that may be why it's a bit warmer than I might have expected

I feel middle-aged today. Went into Grape Tree and promptly forgot what I wanted. There are lots of olds in this town and when the nice shop lady asked if she could help, all I could say was that I was trying to remember what I'd gone in for, but she didn't seem at all surprised. I'm guessing they get plenty of middle- aged women in there being forgetful. Anyway, I did remember, but mainly because I looked at everything so was reminded by the desired things being there (dried apricots and hulled hemp seeds).

Had a charity shop mooch and found a pretty Christmas bauble in shades of dark orange and browny-red fabric, with shiny beads and wire. Now hanging from a lampshade. Festive or what.

I have one good friend who is mostly reality-based, but most round here are firmly TWAW.