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Original poster

LIGHTHEARTED - If you only ever believed things that you read on MN…

168 replies

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 06/12/2022 23:44

You’d believe that….

  • If your husband so much as starts shopping in a new supermarket then he’s definitely having an affair
  • Tenants who can afford to pay six months rent are drug dealers and will use a rental property as a drug farm
  • Sleeping on a bench in a town centre in the middle of the day is perfectly acceptable and extremely common
  • That a perfectly acceptable parenting method is, in response to your husband having a night out, to leave a tiny baby and a toddler with him while he can do nothing but vomit in the toilet. This will all end well and you’ll thoroughly enjoy spending the day sat in Costa coffee patting yourself on the back over your victory
  • If somebody asks you to do something you don’t want to do, saying “No” and literally nothing else at all, is absolutely fine and gives enough context and definitely doesn’t make you sound like a massive weirdo

Any more for anymore?

OP posts:
stuntbubbles · 07/12/2022 17:20

That you can fashion an income around taking in some ironing.

BiscuitLover3678 · 07/12/2022 17:21

You need to get married if you have a baby.

Mangolist · 07/12/2022 17:22

If you charge your adult child rent, even though they are earning a pretty good salary and eating, heating and hot watering you out of house and home, you are really rather unkind; unless of course you pop their £50 a month into a savings account for them for when they finally piss off, so they buy their own house.

Nannewnannew · 07/12/2022 17:29

Everyone leaves for work at 6am and gets home at 8pm whereupon they will cook a meal from scratch, every day.

rudolphrainbownose · 07/12/2022 17:33

Also, everyone on Mumsnet is absolutely fine, in fact happy, about their husband/ boyfriend having loads of individual one-on-one meet up's with female friends for lunch// dinner/ cinema etc.

In real life, most people would be extremely pissed off their husband/ boyfriend was "new best friends" with the attractive girl in the office, texting all the time and arranging regular one on one meet up's . They just would be. On Mumsnet you'd be considered controlling for this.

DolphinWars · 07/12/2022 17:35

That 2 pigs in blankets are more than enough with Christmas lunch.

Fuck that shit.

Jeanjane · 07/12/2022 17:36

Whatthetrolley · 06/12/2022 23:47

A chicken can feed a family of 4 for about 3 weeks!!

Well yes, of course with a massive salad.

rudolphrainbownose · 07/12/2022 17:36

Character clothing, ( for three year olds !) is also considered chavvy. Unfortunately three-year-olds from all socioeconomic backgrounds like to dress as peppa pig.

rudolphrainbownose · 07/12/2022 17:38

Also , that the majority of women with children are desperately, secretly jealous of childfree/ childless women. Some may be, but I suspect this is a small minority.

Essexhousehusbands · 07/12/2022 17:40

@FettleOfKish

it’s a new saying !

’ May your ducks be perpetually in a row’

AclowncalledAlice · 07/12/2022 17:42

Step-mothers should remember that she is not the DSC's parent unless it involves her time and money in which case she should treat them as her own.

rudolphrainbownose · 07/12/2022 17:48

Relationships move ridiculously slowly on Mumsnet, e.g. two years together isn't considered a serious relationship.

pinneddownbytabbies · 07/12/2022 17:52

That I'd have to buy a dishwasher in order to clean the loo brush properly.

That actually I shouldn't be using a loo brush at all.

I'd be in a perpetual state of dilemma.

rudolphrainbownose · 07/12/2022 17:56

That you are irresponsible if you have a baby and,
a) you are under 30
b) you haven't been together 5 years minimum
c) you are not married, (even if you are in a long-term relationship)
d) you plan to be a SAHM.
E) You do not own your own home.

You are also considered selfish if you have a baby over 40.

rudolphrainbownose · 07/12/2022 18:05

The inexplainable hatred of elf on the shelf.

pinneddownbytabbies · 07/12/2022 18:24

TheaBrandt · 07/12/2022 10:25

Anyone that volunteers for the PTA in any capacity is doing it for the power and the glory and the perks and is basically Amanda from Motherland.

...the main perk of course being that their dc gets the biggest part in the school nativity / play / concert every year.

TheaBrandt · 07/12/2022 18:41

Actually thinking about it I did do a lot for the pta and Dd2 was Mary (mwwwah ha evil laugh sweeps cloak runs off)

nameymcnamechangling · 07/12/2022 18:47

Every stepmom secretly hates their step kids and is jealous of the ex wife obvs

HairyMcLarie · 07/12/2022 19:09

That clothing worn outside becomes impregnated with a deadly virus. Any such clothing must socially distance from your bed as the virus loves snuggling up in your bed linen and will infect you with as yet indiscernible symptoms while you sleep

dawnfromgavinandstacey · 07/12/2022 19:18

PopTartsAreLife · 06/12/2022 23:48

That people do tinkly laughs and ask 'did you mean to be so rude?'

That somehow people can clean loo skids up successfully without a toilet brush. How?!

Bleach the skid until it gives in and fucks off. We must not be very skiddy as it usually goes after one bleach left for a bit then a flush.

I don't have a toilet brush.

WhatWouldHopperDo · 07/12/2022 19:40

That any remotely thorny issue can be resolved by having a free half hour consultation that all solicitors offer.

That nobody can ever do anything for their partner without being asked ‘why are you cleaning his shoes/ironing his shirt/whatever for him’ Even if you just offered as you were doing your own.

ScottBakula · 07/12/2022 20:30

isthismylifenow · 07/12/2022 04:44

That every load of washing needs to be boil washed otherwise it's unhygienic.

(many mnetters would have a cadenza to find out majority of people here just wash everything in cold water , and no ill harm has come to them)

That the school has to know about every infrigement a neighbours child makes at home. He looked at my child sideways... You should report this to the school. And then ss. Never the parent of said child.

We should always excuse bad behaviour in children / adults as they may be nnt.

That if you are due to have a quick BBQ instead of cooking indoors for a change, you need to inform the entire neighbour in advance.

I have not heard the word Cadenza for ages it always makes me laugh , thank you , if used properly ( imo ) it should be proceeded by Absoluuuute

Original poster
LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 07/12/2022 20:57

All nursery workers are stupid and thick and only do that job because childcare is a course for an idiot. It’s embarrassing to work in a nursery, lowest of the low.

Doesnt stop anyone sending their kids to nursery of course.

OP posts:
Thighlengthboots · 08/12/2022 06:38

I think the most ridiculous post I've ever seen on here was someone talking about renting out a house they had inherited from a relative and someone told them they should GIFT the house (for free) to their new tenants as it would really prove what a decent person they were.

Tirrrrred · 08/12/2022 06:54

Had this recently.

If your partner tells you he's military, the truth is....

He's a wannabe spy
Drug dealer
Has a second family
Criminal