School boy won't let people sit down

[Hospital2022]

Every day after school we see the same boy on the bus. He sits on a double seat and refuses to let people sit next to him he puts his leg there so no one can sit there. Several times people have wanted to sit. He won't move for anyone. Such as small children who can't balance . Elderly people. Adults have told him of on several occasions telling him to let the old lady sit down . Today he sat on the back seats. The ones where there are 5/6 seats all next to each other. He had his bag on one seat. He was sitting on the one next to it, then had his leg on the other so was taking up 3 seats . An old man asked him to move over so he can sit down . The boy refused to move several times the man asked and the boy kept refusing. The man then said im 74 years old and you won't even let me sit down you have no manners. He was a frail man. He was able to get a seat in the end. But this has been going on for a few weeks now and the boy is doing it everyday. I know what school he has to but I don't know his name or anything like that. So I can't complain to the school bas thete are over 1000 pupils in the school.

We are talking a London bus at school going home time so it's very busy.

It sounds petty when I write it but he is causing upset abd stress towards passengers.

Any suggestions ?

Mine? I haven't once told someone that 'I can't help them' why say that? I'm not the only one who has said take a picture or record them Jesus wept.

The school will also have policies to deal with bratty kids in uniform acting like twats in public. Which a photo will help. A bus driver in my experience will just shrug his shoulders.

Anyhow. I'm out!

Tell the bus driver. He should refuse to move the bus until the little shit move his leg/ foot/ bag.

I’ve worked in four senior schools and they all would have dealt with this.

Well op won’t know what the bus driver would do because apparently she (and you) don’t think the bus driver/company is the first course of action for a difficult passenger. In my experience anyone would immediately go to the bus driver, not watch the teenager for weeks and try to get advice on taking photos of him.

So you didn't even try talking to the driver because you say that's not how buses work in London.
You didn't even try OP!!

This is where my head went first. He may have autism of any other kind of neurodivergence. I wouldn't automatically assume he was being an arsehole, I'd assume there was a reason he can't deal with strangers being close to him. The bus journey could be incredibly stressful for him without the addition of a stranger. If however his general attitude is belligerent and rude, he is in fact, an arse.

I'm not convinced a whole-school assembly would do any good. The boy knows that he shouldn't do it - it's such obvious selfishness to anybody over 4 - so he would just ignore it. The only kids who usually bother listening to general messages like that in assembly are the respectful ones who wouldn't dream of doing the bad behaviour anyway.

I would definitely go down the route of filming it, for purposes of proof/identification and protecting yourself, in case the brat tried to make up accusatory lies about what you said to him in any confrontation.

I’d most definitely take a pic and send it to the school head, with an explanatory email.

If I knew of a sufficiently big, hefty bloke - the sort who looks dangerous on a rugby pitch - I’d also take him along asap to sort the little shit out.

Here (SW London, I use buses a lot) it’s most often young women who plonk their bags on the aisle seat and either are, or pretend to be, so engrossed in their phones that they don’t see some poor old dear standing, or trying to make their perilously wobbly way to a seat much further back. More than once I’ve asked them (politely enough) to move their bag, either for me or for the old dear - there’s usually an eye roll, but nobody’s ever refused.

What amazes me is how often people who have to stand, don’t just ask people to move their bags.

Contact the school as a concerned member of the public. Contact the Bus Company too.

This is where my head went first. He may have autism of any other kind of neurodivergence. I wouldn't automatically assume he was being an arsehole, I'd assume there was a reason he can't deal with strangers being close to him. The bus journey could be incredibly stressful for him without the addition of a stranger

If he can't deal with people near him, he shouldn't be on a crowded bus. I do get fed up with people assuming that every instance of bratty behaviour must stem from some condition or other. Have you never heard of bad manners?

Photo of him and contact the school.
I remember the boys on my school bus got a bollocking when members of the public contacted the school.

Why not take a photo of him?

Firstly, taking a photo of a child is skating on thin ice.

There was a thread back along about an OP
who was worried a man had taken a photo of her child and MN went nuts over it.

Secondly and more importantly, he sounds like an absolute prick (what person refuses to allow an old man to sit down) and winding him up by taking a photo or physically touching him is probably not going to end well for the OP.

This reminds me of something I saw years ago on the tube in London. Two silly teenage girls, one with her feet on the seat opposite, where a woman was sitting and trying to avoid contact with the stupid girl's shoes - knees to the side & right out into the aisle.

Woman gets off, big burly builder type man sits down.

'Move your feet'. Silly girls giggle, but feet remain on seat.

Man leans over into girl's face:
'Move. Your. Fucking. Feet'.

Fucking feet were moved.

This!!
Sometimes I read these threads with such dismay. So many judgemental comments. No one knows his personal experiences. Of course it is ‘socially unacceptable’ behaviour but why can’t people l come from an angle of care rather than judgement 🤦🏼‍♀️

Take a photo of the nasty little cunt, find his school and stick his face all over social media.

What amazes me is how often people who have to stand, don’t just ask people to move their bags.

At the risk of sounding like Jim Bowen, I think I'd be telling them that they need to move their bag rather than just asking. They're doing it deliberately: anybody (who isn't blind) can see when the bus starts to fill up and realise that bags now need to go on their lap or the floor, no matter how much they try to pretend otherwise.

It's one thing to put your bag there to deter somebody choosing to sit next to you when there are lots of other empty seats available; but once the seat is needed, it's just tough.

It’s not skating on thin ice 🤦🏼‍♀️

What if the bus is his only form of transport.
You don’t know peoples circumstances

Just be NICE!

I like the idea of sitting on him or his bag. That would be hilarious. Then refuse to move 🤣

Well I’d launch the bag for starters..

Next time this happens and he does it to an old person film it and share it on your local spotted page. It will no doubt get back to his parents.

I think most people could tell the difference between belligerent rudeness and genuine distress due to being crowded, it’s a massive reach to suggest that I’d the case here.

No, you're sitting on the seat. If his leg is in the way after you have warned him your are going to sit in the seat then tough luck.

I wouldn't take photos because nobody knows what you will do with that photo after the incident. Is it going to be all over social media or sent to a newspaper? Made into your own personal collection? Photoshopped into something more sinister?

But yes I would sit in a seat if he wasn't fully occupying it. Just as I would if a larger person was sitting across two seats and I needed to sit down on the other half of one.

Once upon a time I would happily sling anyone off my bus.

Drivers now have no authority, sling a kid off the bus and the next day you will be unemployed.

Things might be a bit better in London due to the way services are provided.

You can't take picture of a child. Speak to the bus driver, and if nothing is done then take it up with the bus company. Copy that letter in to the school and maybe a general announcement can be made at school.