An alternative upbringing, low screen/tech, outdoors, is it possible anymore?

[MamaDuckling]

DH and I starting to feel increasingly uncomfortable and dissatisfied with the way life is panning out… I’m wondering if there are any groups (forums) for alternative/low tech parenting that anyone knows of and can recommend?

For example: Kids just want to sit and watch tv/screens. We take them out, we are active, museums, activities etc etc. But they say everything is ‘boring’. DD for example can’t even seem to sit in the car or on a bus now without saying how boring it is - it’s like they need constant stimulation.

These aren’t kids that were raised on screens - they have had access to screens in moderation, but the amount of choice, instant gratification/flick flick flick nature of kids tv hasn’t helped I don’t think.

DH and I want to raise kids who enjoy the outdoors, who enjoy creating, have hobbies. Where we live all I see is kids who are glued to their tech (both parents busy working and seem to rely on iPads/YouTube etc to babysit kids).

I do worry that this is a symptom of where we live. Busy busy lives, people always on the go, always working (and wfh, always plugged in). Short of upping sticks for the middle of nowhere, which we don’t want to do either, how can we change our lifestyle to drastically cut out this reliance on tech/digital entertainment? Do we need to go TV free? We have so far banned YouTube and any gaming is for a limited period at weekends. But I still feel it’s all the kids want to ever do.

Maybe it’s obvious and we just need to take the things away? But does that make things worse, create resentment for forcing an alternative lifestyle on them? We can’t be alone in not wanting to raise kids glued to devices?

Sorry for the rambling post, not really sure what I’m asking - has anyone got what they think is a good balance?

Whether we like it or not, technology is part of our lives now. A lot of day to day stuff needs a device - shopping, medical apps, tickets, booking holidays.

This is so true. I’m not on my phone as much as some people because I can’t cope with it, I suffer from bad brain fog and if I’m doing things on my phone everything just goes blurry and I get overwhelmed. However I went away recently, my DH had booked flights but I had to check in, I didn’t realise I was supposed to do it online. It was only the morning I was going my DH said have you not checked in already, I was just going to do it at the airport, but no, apparently you don’t do that now! Everything is on phones and apps including boarding passes. I sort of knew this but because my DH usually dose these things it didn’t actually register how much I’d need my crappy phone and that I’d need to do it. Once there food at to be ordered at the table via apps too, than I couldn’t adjust the order to accommodate my DDs allergies as the app dosnt allow that ggrrr Then after we arrived I needed my phone for Sat nav.

so so much is done on phones now we have no choice but to use them, the same with tablets etc

I get so frustrated, I just want to pick a phone up and call someone to ask why something isn’t working properly and what do I need to do, but no, I have to go through a bunch of online rubbish that dosnt answer my questions and if I’m lucky I might finally get to chat to someone via messaging and again if I’m lucky 2 hours later they may have fixed the problem. This was a recent experience with Amazon.

Ah @AliceMcK amd @Ormally houve both said what I was thinking earlier as I reflected on this thread. I was trying to get a doctors appointment… no one picks up the phone, you have to use the website or app. Then back into the app to read the message. Then no one called when they said they would. So it’s back into the app… I hate it, we don’t interact anymore with other people. This is just the beginning I’ve no doubt, talk of the meta verse just creeps me out so I’m burying my head in the sand about it all.

I truly wish there was another way, but the reality is that the only way I could get DS to agreeably do his homework tonight was with the promise of 30 mins game time. Now the game in question is fine, totally safe and relates to his passion. I am split between embracing tech with some firm rules, or going to live on a farm with horses for DD, dogs for me, a grand design for DH and DS to build together!

We moved the family to our Polynesian island a couple of years ago. with my job. We have this low tech life. The kids have learned to sail, they go to swimming lessons in the lagoon, they bike to school, no one ever wears shoes. It is possible.

I get so frustrated, I just want to pick a phone up and call someone to ask why something isn’t working properly and what do I need to do, but no, I have to go through a bunch of online rubbish that dosnt answer my questions and if I’m lucky I might finally get to chat to someone via messaging and again if I’m lucky 2 hours later they may have fixed the problem. This was a recent experience with Amazon.

If you get a Bot, sometimes if you type "I want to talk to a human" it will get you through.

Right, @Watchthesunrise , seriously? Tell us more please? Sounds wonderful?

Mine have a set time on their screens a day and they know this is non-negotiable.
If they complain they're bored I usually just go with oh you're so clever/so good at crafting, I'm sure you'll find something to do. It works so far but I know it'll not work forever.

I want to say more about where we live but it's very outing.

I hate that homework is on screens now. My children are aged 9, 7 and 5. They are allowed TV when they get in from school but there are only 2 days when we are not out swimming instead. Also on the weekends they put it on in the morning. When we say they turn it off.
None has a tablet or phone. We have a tablet purely for homework and listening to audiobooks and they never ask to use it otherwise.
They are all obsessed with craft and drawing, and they still play together a lot. I am happy to leave tech as long as possible, as I think they gain too much by not having it. They can sit in restaurants and manage long journeys as they know no different. When they do need tech for school or whatever, I trust it will be easy enough to pick up the skills.

When they do need tech for school or whatever, I trust it will be easy enough to pick up the skills.

Honestly, yes. I don't buy this "if kids don't have iPads when they're three they won't be able to cope in the modern world" line or the assumption that watching YouTube will make them genius systems developers. Consuming tech and producing tech are two completely different things and if my 75 year old dad can get an iPad or smartphone out of the box and be using it within 2 hours, the average 11 year old will have zero problems.

User focused tech is SO intuitive these days, including school and workplace systems and platforms, that you can go from a standing start very quickly. Producing tech is a whole different skillset but being good at maths is going to give you a better grounding for coding than watching shorts on YouTube.

Mine are 9 and 7 and have no access to tech at home - no games, no tablets, no phones, no YouTube, but they are absolutely fine with the tech that is used at school. It’s so easy to pick up. They don’t miss what they’ve never had and they’re still happy playing with toys (9yo is still asking for dolls for Christmas).

Yes, some of their friends might play games, but their friends also might go on really expensive holidays and get expensive presents for Christmas; they need to learn that they don’t get everything that their friends have.

Their school was great during lockdown in that they provided parents with the work for the children via the internet, but the work was to be completed offline, in workbooks. Same with homework now - it’s all offline (unlike a poster above whose primary DC have homework online).

Obviously this will be reviewed in the future but they’re happy at the moment, technology is undeniably addictive and I want them to enjoy other things for as long as possible - without them having to be reluctantly taken away from screens.

We are in the same position EXCEPT for the online homework, which I can't stand! My 9 yo has gone from never really looking at my phone to wanting to be on bloody sumdog every day as soon as she gets in from school. It's very frustrating.