Desparately need advice on a sad situation and not sure where to turn. Will my 17 yr old niece be able to stay in the council flat if her mum passes away?

[Janieread]

My dsis had a liver transplant last week (many years of alcoholism), sadly despite initially going well she has internal bleeding and has gone back into surgery. The surgeons were very bleak about her chances of even making it through the difficult and complicated surgery, as she is now extremely poorly.

I am currently staying in her flat to support my 17 year old niece. Her dad isn't on the scene. The flat is about 150 miles away from my own home - I have three children and am married, my fil sadly died a month ago.

What will happen to my niece if my dsis dies? She is currently at art college which she loves. She can of course come and live with me, but we live very rurally with no art college near by. She's currently in a city which she loves as she exists solely on takeaways - no delieveroo near us! Can she stay in her council flat if my dsis passes away? Then I could come up for part of each week.

I know if she passes we'll be almost too devastated to care, but I'm trying to work out what to do before the worst. I have contacted my dneices dad but he wasn't interested.

Any advice or kind words appreciated!

TBH in tht situation I think she'd be better in a studio flat with all bills included but like someone else pointed out they will only pay I think for the rate for shared accomodation for under 35s. And that's totally dependent on area as in some areas obviously you can get a flat for 300/400 and some areas it's 1000 (market rate). I'd get advice from CAB or somewhere like that. What does she want to do? Is she planning on going to uni at 18 - in Sept? Because then it might make the most sense for her to live with you as an interim measure and then go to uni at 18?

I'm really sorry to hear about the sad situation. I'm going through similar actually but it's someone in her 60s with learning difficulties.

I wonder if student accommodation would be an option? I had a friend whose daughter moved to the Uk to do A levels and she lived in Student accommodation. As a matter of urgency I think you need to speak to the Art College, the Council and maybe Shelter. She should at least be able to complete her course.

What a heartbreaking situation for you all. I wonder if one of her friends could put her up during the week? Is there a particular parent who might have the ability to do this, for a contribution? Then have her with you at weekends and holidays? That way she'd be safely with a good friend and adults. I know I would do this in a heartbeat if one of my son's friends needed support like this.

I would do everything possible to try and get the tenancy in her name, with you as guarantor, if possible. If this child has a home that it is difficult fir her to be removed from, you have given her a lot. She can always swap at a later date to a different area.

tFunding the home comes next. Are you able to support her in any way financially?

NB whatever she does do a few weekends with you and some cookery days might be a nice thing for you both to keep your mind on something else right now.

I also agree about the learning to cook advice as that must be costing a fortune. If you sat down and looked at how much that is per month I bet it's staggering. And also, it will be affecting her health quite badly.

But having said that, right now is a very difficult time to start making changes like that.

I thought the single room rate only applies to LHA, and therefore to private lets?

Wouldn’t she be able to get UC housing payment minus any bedroom tax?

PIP is more area really, but I just have it in my head that single room rate is a private sector thing.

I would be very worried about leaving her alone with no cooking skills , no family nearby and just one friend. If she’s also grieving she will really struggle. Try and teach her some cooking skills, talk to her about nutrition, how to budget erc. She would probably be much better off in student accommodation if there is any . On her own she is very vulnerable.

Student accommodation is usually on a license basis (no tenancy). A council tenancy will be a secure lifetime tenancy and cheaper than student halls. If she wants to stay in that area and she’s happy being independent, taking over the council tenancy could give her a lot of security as a young adult. She has an uphill climb ahead of her.

I think a lot of this depends on what she wants to do at 18. If she wants to work, for example, she might be best getting a friend to move in - much more manageable splitting all of the bills by two. If she wants to go to uni that's different too. I really feel for you, it's complicated due to her age.

I don't think she has any idea. This her first year of 6th form as she missed a year due to anxiety

I am so sorry and send strength at this difficult time. Perhaps best to contact your local Citizens Advice as this situation is more complex than it might look. They will help make sure you and your niece have all the information needed to make sensible decisions. Her tender age complicates things.

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/about-us/contact-us/contact-us/search-for-your-local-citizens-advice/

Mean time here is some information from Shelter (this is for England)

england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/council_housing_association/can_you_inherit_a_council_tenancy

Here is a link to a benefits calculator:
benefits-calculator.turn2us.org.uk/

You are a wonderful Auntie for being so thoughtful.

xxx

Best bet is to speak to council /HA.
One of my daughters friends recently lost his Mum - single parent, 3 children (19, 18 & 16) eldest two both at uni.

Father was living in shared accommodation so there was no where for the children to go to, especially when the eldest returned from uni. The Mum would have liked to have added the eldest to have been put on the tenancy when she realised how sick she was - but because they weren’t permanently living there (at uni) they couldn’t.

Thankfully thé HA has allowed the family for the time being to stay and the father has moved back in to look after his youngest and cover the rent.

Is it a council owned property or is it housing association?

I’d do anything you can to keep the tenancy for her. I suggest Shelter and looking on the website of the council of housing association. Try and get hold of the tenancy paperwork if you can.

I am so sorry your family is going through this.

Sorry yes you are correct, she would get one bedroomed with bedroom tax deducted.

So she’s not at Art College yet? In that case I would have her live with you and attend the local sixth form if that can be arranged.

Yes i think it could be

I know its not probably good advice but if your sister sadly passes can your niece drag out eviction til Febuary and then technically be able to take over?

Sorry for what your going through .
if it’s a secure council tenancy, the daughter can succeed if succession hasn’t happened before & the tenancy can be held in trust for her until she is 18 then transferred to her once of age. Alternatively, if mother is able she can request that her tenancy is assigned to her daughter. The council must consider this request and give a good reason if not granted. . However, As it’s a two bed, it likely they will ask that she downsizes to a 1 bed.

Please take her home with you OP. This poor vulnerable young lady needs love and support after losing her mum, and you sound like a fab auntie. If you can support having her with you financially that sounds much better than her being on her own.

Thank goodness she has you, poor girl. Don’t have any advice other than let her know you’ve got her back and will always be there for her. Shame on her dad and grandparents! Take care OP, you’re doing a great job ! 🌻

Then honestly that’s what I would do. She needs a caring adult around . It doesn’t sound like she’s had one up till now. She’s very young to be on her own coping with bills and adult admin with no family or support. She also has important exams coming up. She isn’t eating properly and will be an emotional mess if her mum sadly dies. She’s very lucky to have you.

I left home at 17 thinking I was an adult. I was quite mature and capable but I wasn’t emotionally ready. Most girls that age would really struggle on their own whilst still at school. Never mind dealing with being bereaved too.

Not to be a gloom merchant, but it might be that arms length support will pan out better.

A young woman who has been living alone with an alcoholic mother and developed a degree of self sufficiency, might find it harder than you’d think to slip into OP’s “three kids and a Labrador” typical family life. Or she might not. But you can’t just scoop up a traumatised 17 year old and take them home the way you can a toddler. Even toddlers struggle when adopted or custody is switched.

If she did manage to succeed to the tenancy, she would then have the option to apply for a transfer to a different area later.

She might express her own thoughts more clearly as the situation unfolds.

At any rate she has some family support and OP sounds very helpful which is more than some youngsters in similar circumstances have.

Anxiety? She sounds quite vulnerable and not just because she’s seventeen. Does she have a decent circle of friends?

I would be inclined to offer her a home with you ….but the issue of your rurality is there. It doesn’t sound like a great fit for an arty teenager who is used to an urban environment tbh.

There has to be a happy medium, surely.

She’s lucky to have you. It is sad that her father and grandparents have not stepped up.

OP says she only has one friend.