Desparately need advice on a sad situation and not sure where to turn. Will my 17 yr old niece be able to stay in the council flat if her mum passes away?

[Janieread]

My dsis had a liver transplant last week (many years of alcoholism), sadly despite initially going well she has internal bleeding and has gone back into surgery. The surgeons were very bleak about her chances of even making it through the difficult and complicated surgery, as she is now extremely poorly.

I am currently staying in her flat to support my 17 year old niece. Her dad isn't on the scene. The flat is about 150 miles away from my own home - I have three children and am married, my fil sadly died a month ago.

What will happen to my niece if my dsis dies? She is currently at art college which she loves. She can of course come and live with me, but we live very rurally with no art college near by. She's currently in a city which she loves as she exists solely on takeaways - no delieveroo near us! Can she stay in her council flat if my dsis passes away? Then I could come up for part of each week.

I know if she passes we'll be almost too devastated to care, but I'm trying to work out what to do before the worst. I have contacted my dneices dad but he wasn't interested.

Any advice or kind words appreciated!

@PeekabooAtTheZoo

Social Services have a responsibility to carry out an assessment even if the child is approaching their 18th birthday. You are correct in that they will likely try to fob off all responsibility onto OP but they can’t just say they won’t get involved without making that assessment

I feel so alone with it all. My parents refuse to get involved, haven't even been to visit her. Dneices dad isn't interested. Dsis has just one friend, who i must text actually.

Is there some Foyer accommodation in your DN's area? This is supported accommodation for young people who can't live at home for whatever reason. As I understand it, it's like a half-way house between living at home and living independently. It doesn't sound like she's ready to live alone, even with your help. I would see if a housing charity could advise.

If the worst happens you need to first talk to children's social services for advice, explain the full situation and listen to the options they have - they may be able to support her to stay in her home and she could get a lodger in time to help with the cost (allowed under the rules) perhaps another young person who needs to move out of home.

Housing services should be your second point to contact once you know what the options are from children's services as this will impact housing services.

Some areas have supported housing for under 21's which might be more suitable for instance

It doesn't sound like she's ready to live alone, even with your help.

Agreed. Another option is that your niece goes into termtime lodgings so she can stay at college (and come to you in the holidays). Coming from a rural area, some of my friends did this to access the colleges they needed.

So I suggest speaking to your niece's college on Monday - personal tutor and student support. They'll have dealt with similar before.

You don't sound uncaring. You sound very worried and caring. Your niece needs to learn basic cooking skills and how to manage laundry etc so eventually as he can live alone. Does not sound capable ATM. Her best option may be living with you for as year to learn basic skills she will need. She can always go back to Art college after. Left alone in a flat if her Mum does she could easily slip into depression. Maybe she will find the animals relaxing. So sorry about your sister.

What is the plan in the longer term for her? Is she planning to go to uni or is the college a higher education institute?.
A lot will depend on where she needs or wants to be in the longer term.

Of course you'll want her to stay with you in the short term while she deals with the bereavement but moving her in permanently may not be in her best interests. She'd be entitled to more help if she's not family looked after. And it doesn't sound like where you live suits the life she wants.

I think all you can do for now is stress that she is welcome if it's what she wants but help her navigate options with the council.

Sorry I waffled on a bit there! What I was trying to say is make sure your DN understands she is wanted at yours but that it's best not to just scoop her up into your household officially as it may limit her housing options going forward.

She needs to feel wanted but I suspect you 'refusing' to house her permanently might be better as she's a high care/housing priority as it stands.

She'd have to be a joint Tennant already then it would become hers.

I wouldn’t wait, I’d contact SS and her college next week so you’ll be aware of the options now, in case the worst happens. So sorry that you and your niece are going through this, you’re clearly a lovely Auntie. 💐

Hi op, so I think there's a few things to consider here. Firstly I think you need to consider whether staying in the flat is the best option for her at the moment if you say she's young in herself and maybe doesn't have the independent living skills she'd need to run a flat. Secondly, she's going to be grieving if anything happens to her mum and is living by herself and suddenly being left with a tenancy to manage at that age going to work out well. I'd also consider what her support network is like, are her friends likely to see this as a space for them to come party and hang out and encroach on her home (they probably won't know anyone else that age with their own flat).

Other options could be, looking at young person centered supported accommodation, looking at someone else to take on a caretakers tenancy until your dn is ready to take it on herself, moving her in with family, or reaching out to a floating support worker who will help her learn to manage a tenancy? I'd ask for a meeting with the housing authority who are the landlords and see what your options are there particularly around a caretakers tenancy until she turns 18. And I'd speak to your dn about what she wants so she has time to think about how she'd feel living there without your dsis and if she feels ready to manage alone.

Is she planning on going to uni or similar?

You and her should contact her college, at the very least they’ll be able to sign post

Also would she be able to afford the tenancy? How does she pay for so many takeaways?

Does your nieces art college offer accommodation? It might be worth chatting to them and seeing if they have a housing team.

I'm so sorry you are all going through this.

Your poor niece. Growip with an alcoholic Mum, a dad not around and uncaring grandparents.
The poor darling.
She is lucky to have you looking out for her.
Nothing to add but sending you good wishes and support.

I volunteer for a charity supporting someone who had just gone through the same thing. I would advise you to contact social services and the council. In our town we have a charity that works with young people if you have anything like this locally contact them and ask for a support worker.

Thanks. It's been absolutely shit for her. I'm doing my best but do have moments when I just want to be at home with my dh and kids and dog

is there private student accommodation locally? The art college should be able to advise. Might that be an option, then coming to you in the holidays? Would it just be until June, is her course finished then?

My sister died earlier this year when my nephew was 17, they also lost their Dad in 2020 so totally orphaned.

A under 18 can hold a tenancy under license if agreed by the housing provider, so you will need to speak to the council. As it's just a few months they may be lenient. However, running a 2 bed will be expensive as benefits for a young person under 25 are frankly shit and she will be liable for bedroom tax. She simply won't be able to afford to get takeaways on her own, she will barely be able to afford to live.

This close to being 18, children's services wont give a shit about her either. We tried this route as it was 3 months short of DN 18th birthday and they told us not to bother as the waiting list was so long they would turn 18 before we got any help from them.

Speak to the council.

it should be possible as long as the tenancy hasnn't been succeeded already
"Where a secure tenant dies leaving only a child who resided with them for at least the 12-month period before the death, a landlord must recognise the child as having succeeded to the secure tenancy. An adult, either a relative or professional (for example a social worker), must hold the legal tenancy on trust"

See if her college have a welfare team who can offer advice

One practical thing you can do is teach her how to cook. Getting takeaways every night is a massive waste of money.

Your poor neice. It sounds like she has been neglected for a long time, due to her mum’s alcoholism. As she has experienced adverse childhood experiences, this will impact on her resilience and she probably had to parent her mum, when it should have been vice versa. Alcoholism is a terrible disease…
Her college will have a student support department and they can support her with benefits, accommodation advice etc. They can also make the appropriate referrals i.e. social services.

Op you’re best going onto the council website. Hopefully they will have all the information needed re succeeding a tenancy. It’s only 3 months till she turns 18. The council may have a area housing officer for the area they live as well

im a council tenant in my area my children can secede my tenancy if I died as long as it adequately meets their needs ie bedrooms. If the council said no you have more rooms than you need then the council will rehouse as they have a duty.
So say your niece lived in my council area they may say she can stay or no. If the latter they would have a legal obligation to rehouse for example a 1 bed flat .

I’ve no advice, I just wanted to say you sound like a lovely aunt.