Should we cancel this expensive holiday??

[RNBrie]

7 years ago, my brother and his wife moved to New Zealand. They've since had two children I've never met.

They had holidays booked back in the UK a couple of times but everything got cancelled because of covid.

I've never been able to afford to visit him as we have 3 DC, I could have afforded to go alone but didn't want to use up annual leave to go away without my family.

6 months ago I was given an unexpected large bonus from work and DH and I agreed we'd spend it all on a once in a lifetime trip to NZ. It's all booked and paid for, we go at Easter. It's costing a fortune, about the cost of a wedding for flights, accommodation, all in.

I've just found out that a month after we get back, my brother is coming here with his family. My parents are paying for it because they miss them too but don't want to travel there.

My DH and I are discussing cancelling our holiday because the main reason we booked was that I was just desperate to see my DB after all this time. The money is gone, but we checked yesterday and everything is cancellable, there will be a small charge for cancelling the flights.

Our NZ trip is fancy. We stay near my brother for a bit then we have a week at a luxury resort near some other friends we've not see for years, then back to near my db and then home. This is not the sort of holiday we have ever taken and the cost of it is making me uncomfortable, we could save a bit by changing resorts but more than half the cost is the flights.

So what would you do? Go on our fancy holiday, or get our money back? We'd probably spend half of it on a much cheaper but still fancy holiday closer to home...

Personally I would go.
you had planned for it, you were looking forward to it and you never know what’s around the corner.
if you were on your knees financially I would say cancel but it’s good to live a little.
There’s more to NZ than seeing your brother. In fact it’s perfect, he will be able to maximise your time there by giving you great tips on what to do and what to see..

I'm in the go camp. NZ is amazing and easy to travel around. Also this:

I actually think that seeing your brother twinge in a short period is a good idea. It actually cements the relationship, rather than spaced out trips which are more unreal. The second time is more relaxed and less 'special event-like'.

Agree with posters who say go now while your children are still pre-teens - it would be a very different (and potentially more trying) experience with older children. I can imagine it would also mean a lot to your brother than you will be going all that way to see him on his turf. Have a wonderful time!

Bits of South island might be like Norway but north island can be like Hawaii!

@Iwannabeacrocodilehunter

why????!

noooooo! Disney world v New Zealand?! There really is no comparison!!

I know. Mind blowing. 🙄

Go. Imagine if you cancel and then your brother cancels.

You've never been so excited about anything. Nothing more needs to be said.

I would go. It's paid for now. The fact that DB is coming here is irrelevant because you've planned other things in New Zealand.
It will be amazing.
The way things are going you might never get the chance again - flight prices are going up all the time with increasing taxes on emissions and the increasing cost of fuel.
You used a bonus to pay for it and again, that might never happen again.

You also don't know what fate has in store for you in other aspects of your life too.

Go! You’ll have an amazing time, trip of a lifetime. And it’ll take the ‘pressure’ off the U.K. trip, because you’ll have already caught up with each other, the kids will have broken the ice etc. You simply must go! ✈️

I'd still go. Your kids are excited and looking forward to it.

I'd go in a heartbeat. I bet your brother would love to show you his home and life there and for you to see the kids in their home is lovely. It will be amazing and travel is a wonderful thing to be able to do. Prime age for your dcs too

#teamgo

New Zealand is absolutely incredible, worth every penny.

I don’t know you but I am already excited for you and your family, we just did a trip to Australia to see dh family and see more of his country, we had an amazing time.

Tbh I'd 100% cancel. The jet lag with 3 kids might be horrendous and you're not actually going for that long, then the jet lag on the way back needs to be factored in as well. How much can you really see of NZ? If it's more a luxury hotel you could wait til summer, have a luxury week somewhere in Europe at a vastly cheaper price, and not get jet lag!

I would go! I can't imagine my brother being on the other side of the world and never being able to visit to see his life there. I expect you'll be able to have some quality time with your brother's family that you won't get when they're in the UK because they'll need to do the rounds and catch up with various other people. Two of my oldest friends live abroad and I can't afford to visit them either. If I had an unexpected windfall I'd definitely use it to visit one or both of them!

Oh for goodness sake. Cancel a holiday because you'll feel tired for a day or so?

We traveled to Australia with our kids three or four times. We all coped fine with the jet lag. OP's kids aren't toddlers

I agree. Your kids will still be the right age. You get to see brother twice.
You also then are not going on a 20K holiday that your H has reservations about.

I would go. It's about much more than your brother - many other things to enjoy. Plus like you said the cousins will all know each other by the time he comes here.

Going against the grain here! Defo dont cancel.You have been looking forward to a lovely holiday and seeing your friends as well.In some ways the fact your brother is coming back here for a visit ,makes it easier to say goodbye when out there.

@Softplayhooray

cancelling cos of jet lag would be so precious!

it’s a few days of being tired and going to New Zealand would be well worth it!

Not very against the grain! Op has said they're going!

I’d delay for a year. Is that possible?

If I cld get most of it back I would cancel too or move to the following year if possible.

...when the flight prices have gone up even more? As when some of the money had ended up being used for something else?

OP had said that flights are already 20% more expensive than when they booked. Next year will be even more. And they'll have lost their £500 deposit as well.
No that makes no sense

I'm aware that I'm over posting, but as someone who married into a family with relatives in the other side of the world, I can honestly say that traveling to see them has brought real joy to our lives. We've seen the world (we generally stop in SEA on the way) and have fantastic relationships with the family there. They come here too, and that doesn't in any way make visiting them less important. In fact one lot have just visited, and I want to go over in February, so not much gap at all.

Seeing them made me want to go MORE, not less. So I really think you'd regret cancelling, when you see your brother.