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Original poster

Should we cancel this expensive holiday??

393 replies

RNBrie · 26/11/2022 07:00

7 years ago, my brother and his wife moved to New Zealand. They've since had two children I've never met.

They had holidays booked back in the UK a couple of times but everything got cancelled because of covid.

I've never been able to afford to visit him as we have 3 DC, I could have afforded to go alone but didn't want to use up annual leave to go away without my family.

6 months ago I was given an unexpected large bonus from work and DH and I agreed we'd spend it all on a once in a lifetime trip to NZ. It's all booked and paid for, we go at Easter. It's costing a fortune, about the cost of a wedding for flights, accommodation, all in.

I've just found out that a month after we get back, my brother is coming here with his family. My parents are paying for it because they miss them too but don't want to travel there.

My DH and I are discussing cancelling our holiday because the main reason we booked was that I was just desperate to see my DB after all this time. The money is gone, but we checked yesterday and everything is cancellable, there will be a small charge for cancelling the flights.

Our NZ trip is fancy. We stay near my brother for a bit then we have a week at a luxury resort near some other friends we've not see for years, then back to near my db and then home. This is not the sort of holiday we have ever taken and the cost of it is making me uncomfortable, we could save a bit by changing resorts but more than half the cost is the flights.

So what would you do? Go on our fancy holiday, or get our money back? We'd probably spend half of it on a much cheaper but still fancy holiday closer to home...

OP posts:
GreenLeavesRustling · 26/11/2022 07:02

Yes I would cancel

NancyJoan · 26/11/2022 07:02

I would cancel. It’s a lot of money at a time when having a financial cushion is very important.

purplepandas · 26/11/2022 07:03

I would cancel

MarshmallowsOnToast · 26/11/2022 07:04

I would cancel too.

Grumpybutfunny · 26/11/2022 07:05

Do you need the money? I wouldn't cancel I would go see your brother and enjoy a once in a life time holiday. Alternatively could you push it to the year after so you get to see him twice

stillsmilingtoday · 26/11/2022 07:06

I would cancel too. Enjoy your other holiday! X

Forestflies1972 · 26/11/2022 07:06

I would cancel too. Save the money for a rainy day and with a bit of luck you'll be able to use I in a few years time when you're missing DB again.

Joshanddonna · 26/11/2022 07:07

Cancel and plan to go another time in the future for longer. Maybe even in 10 years. You’ll go but just not yet.

Dammitthisisshit · 26/11/2022 07:07

How financially secure are you?
If you’re struggling to pay bills then cancel.

If you’re secure then go.

I’d go. It’s the things you don’t do in life that you regret not the things you do.

CloudPop · 26/11/2022 07:07

New Zealand is absolutely beautiful. You will love it. If you can spare the cash, it will the the holiday of a lifetime.

Astitichintimesaveswine · 26/11/2022 07:09

I'd postpone so you're able to see them again at an interval after their visit and still enjoy a holiday.

autienotnaughty · 26/11/2022 07:12

Cancel stick the money in a high interest isa for 3 years and go then.

Original poster
RNBrie · 26/11/2022 07:12

We don't need the money, we're doing OK, our mortgage doesn't need renewing for 2 more years - that's the only financial issue we see coming down the track. We even checked our energy bills yesterday to discover we're £2k in credit. We have savings that would get us through a couple of months if one of us lost our jobs.

Our hearts are saying go, our heads are saying cancel. But I do like the idea of cancelling this year and rebooking in 2-3 years time.

OP posts:
MightyAtlantic · 26/11/2022 07:13

I would still go, IF a) you are otherwise financially comfortable and b) your DC are old enough that they'll remember the trip. The experience of holidaying as a family, seeing NZ and the memories you'll make are worth more than money in the bank. In future, you'll think, ah remember the great time we had in NZ, not, god I wish we still had that 20k.

WhatTheHellIsAQuasar · 26/11/2022 07:14

you don’t know what’s round the corner. It sounds like you can afford it so I would still go now

chikp · 26/11/2022 07:14

Yes I'd cancel and rebook for next year?

Original poster
RNBrie · 26/11/2022 07:16

DC will be 12, 10 and 8 next Easter.

We usually have our summer holidays in Cornwall at my parents and this year we did a week in Centre Parcs in the Netherlands (genuinely true that its much cheaper than UK even with the travel!)

OP posts:
MudandParsnips · 26/11/2022 07:18

Go go go! How am I the only one on team dream holiday!? 😅 Assuming you wouldn't get the money back for the flights, that seems like a terrible waste to me. If I were you, I would change the itinerary possibly to spend less time with your brother and see more of the country. I would also downgrade the accomodation to make it as cheap as you're comfortable with. How old are your DC? There are loads of adventure options in NZ if they would like that? Also, how are they feeling about the trip? Factor how you would broach it with them and your reasons if they're old enough to be really excited about it. Have a great time either way!

Rainbowqueeen · 26/11/2022 07:18

If you do cancel then I’d rebook for the following year so that you go before your DC are sitting exams and before your brothers DC start school.

FuckConvoGiveMeAForest · 26/11/2022 07:20

It's all down to your other finances OP. If you are financially secure and likely to remain so I would still go. Yes you'll see your brother twice in one year, but who knows how long before you'll see him again? Are your kids at an age where they will remember and appreciate it? Plus you have other friends to visit and it sounds like a holiday you'll get a lot of life experience from if it's a biggun. Do it. Life is for living x

WhatTheHellIsAQuasar · 26/11/2022 07:20

so this would be an incredible trip completely unlike your normal holidays - there isn’t really any reason to postpone for a couple of years is there

Mumdiva99 · 26/11/2022 07:20

Go. It's booked and paid for. It will be the trip of a lifetime. If covid has taught us anything it should be to enjoy the moment - responsibly - you can afford it. You've booked it. Who knows what will happen in the future.

We booked to see friends abroad.....then they found out they were coming home the week after our trip.....for good. We still went and had an amazing time. We went somewhere we would never have gone had it not been for them. We did things over there We would never have done without them to guide us. As a family it was fantastic.

It may mean a lot to your brother too that you are going all that way to see him.

Nottodaysausage · 26/11/2022 07:21

I would definitely go, the memories will last a lifetime for all of you and an incredible experience for your children

NCFT0922 · 26/11/2022 07:22

I’m assuming it’s costing around 30k from what you’ve said?
I would cancel. You are already feeling uncomfortable with it and the main reason for the trip was to see someone you’ll now see for free the following month anyway.
Book another brilliant holiday for 1/2 of the cost somewhere else and bank the rest so you have a cushion.

Original poster
RNBrie · 26/11/2022 07:22

Good question about how I feel about the holiday - I've never been so excited about anything. I've had to make myself stop talking about it because I don't want to show off/be boring.

I'm also really looking forward to seeing other friends. But they're talking about moving back here in another year or two.

The flights are cancellable, we can cancel for fee of £500. So we wouldn't get all our money back.

OP posts:
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