Should we cancel this expensive holiday??

[RNBrie]

7 years ago, my brother and his wife moved to New Zealand. They've since had two children I've never met.

They had holidays booked back in the UK a couple of times but everything got cancelled because of covid.

I've never been able to afford to visit him as we have 3 DC, I could have afforded to go alone but didn't want to use up annual leave to go away without my family.

6 months ago I was given an unexpected large bonus from work and DH and I agreed we'd spend it all on a once in a lifetime trip to NZ. It's all booked and paid for, we go at Easter. It's costing a fortune, about the cost of a wedding for flights, accommodation, all in.

I've just found out that a month after we get back, my brother is coming here with his family. My parents are paying for it because they miss them too but don't want to travel there.

My DH and I are discussing cancelling our holiday because the main reason we booked was that I was just desperate to see my DB after all this time. The money is gone, but we checked yesterday and everything is cancellable, there will be a small charge for cancelling the flights.

Our NZ trip is fancy. We stay near my brother for a bit then we have a week at a luxury resort near some other friends we've not see for years, then back to near my db and then home. This is not the sort of holiday we have ever taken and the cost of it is making me uncomfortable, we could save a bit by changing resorts but more than half the cost is the flights.

So what would you do? Go on our fancy holiday, or get our money back? We'd probably spend half of it on a much cheaper but still fancy holiday closer to home...

Go! To rebook in a couple of years will probably cost far more. Sounds
like you’ve got a good deal. Your heart is telling you yes and you’re excited. That says a lot. Just do it.

Oh you HAVE to go, it’s possibly my favourite place in the entire world. Make sure you visit both North and South Island. The Corromandel, go in a boat trip dolphin spotting in the Bay of Islands, Milford Sound… Both Wellington and Auckland are super cool cities. Rugby game at Eden Park. The people, culture, vibe. Embrace it. And that’s before even seeing your brother. Why does it matter if you see him again a month later?! How lucky is that?!

Does your brothers trip back coincide with when you are there? If not go, it will be an amazing experience for your family.

Go. You'll have an amazing holiday with your kids, be able to have more quality time with your brother (which I'm sure he'll really appreciate), see your friends. And it'll be great when they come over because the kids will already know each other and you'll have a shared bond because you know more about his life in NZ. It's just going to get more expensive to do this trip as prices go up and the kids get older so better togo now when you've already committed to it. I understand the initial desire to cancel but going there will be a better experience for both your family and DBs family.

You and your family will get to see New Zealand.
You'll see other friends.
You'll meet your brother's children - who will then recognise you when they see you again, which is lovely.
I think I'd go.

I'd cancel because now if you go it will be tarnished.

You can book an amazing holiday somewhere else with (part of) the money but I feel like this trip is no longer what you intended and it just isn't worth it as you will see family anyway and I think you could end up being resentful of how it played out...

I’d go! I absolutely loved my trip to NZ and who knows what will happen in the future. Go and have an amazing time.

I’m from NZ and go back there with the kids every year (except covid years) and it now costs me £8k for economy flights for family of 4. No way on gods green earth would i then spend £12k on accommodation - there are so many lovely cheap motels dotted around. My mind is boggling at where you must be staying (Huka lodge? Wharekauhau?)

Nz at Easter can be terrible weather - certainly it won’t be warm, it will possibly be very rainy but not yet cold enough to go skiing. I would suggest you cancel and put half the money toward flights at Christmas time in 2 years. At least you might get some blue sky.

100% go, I’ve been to New Zealand (also because my brother moved there) and it was amazing! A trip of a life time so I honestly wouldn’t cancel it’s amazing

I would postpone too.
Get the holiday you want this year, see your brother and then go and visit him next year.

New Zealand is so beautiful, if you have secure ish jobs I would take the trip. Agree your children will always remember it and take the opportunity when you can. When I went I stayed in Sydney on the way back for a few days so got to see a bit of Australia too. Would recommend!

I agree the timing is good, especially for the eldest.

In DSs secondary he had chosen his options by March Yr 9 and begun GCSE course mid summer term. He has regular tests and exams and finding a clear space to go away and give him time to revise (that isn't the summer holidays) is complicated.

Plus it's soon gets expensive when you have to pay for adult tickets for teenagers.

Go! You’ll still want to see your brother a month later and it’s for you as well. I’d love to go to New Zealand, jealous here!

Is it your 'dream holiday' OP? If so, then I'd go as it seems you can afford it.
If it actually isn't and the only reason you're going all the way to NZ is because your DB is there and you really want to him, then I'd cancel and spend a portion of the money on booking your actual dream holiday - or just 'a' dream holiday. Because if the main motivation for going is to see your DB, well your parents have ruined that haven't they!

I'd go, neices and nephews you've never met? You'll get to know them on the trip and then get more bonus time with them in the UK. You never know, your brother might realise what he is missing and come home more often. Also New Zealand will be an amazing holiday and your kids will remember that experience.

I would see if you can postpone for a year. It would be lovely to see where your DB and his family live. We have family in Australia and it’s lovely to be able to ‘place’ them properly

I’d go. It sounds as if you as financially comfortable and don’t need the bonus money. You will make memories of a lifetime.

Go ! All planning done. Better to see your brother in NZ than here.There are other reasons for the trip too and you might not be able to afford it later.Kids at a good age for it. Definitely go.

Please go, you will have the best time of your life and be so glad you went. Life is for living, go and have an amazing time.

How much of the £20k would you get back if you cancelled?

I would cancel but save the money for two years time and go then

Your children are perfect ages to go now. I would definitely go especially as it's all booked. The only thing I'd change is the fancy resort and do some travel instead as NZ is meant to be beautiful.

If you had found out before (about your brother coming home), would you have still gone ahead and booked the holiday? If the answer to that is 'no', then you should probably cancel.

Go. You will regret it if you don't- look how long it's been. It will make their visit to the UK more enjoyable too for your children- the ice will already have been broken. As you're financially secure you can travel without the worry.

I'd revisit the accommodation and travel around a bit more, especially as you'll be seeing your DB and family again later in the year.

NZ is absolutely stunning (especially the South Island) and if you're going you want to see as much of it as you can. However, I'm definitely on Team Go.