Upset by SIL's comments

[chimayrah]

Hoping for a bit of perspective on this as feel really upset by it. The last few months I've managed to get into what (to me) was a pretty consistent exercise regime of running 3x a week (I did couch to 5k and now hoping to work my way up to a 10k), and strength training in the gym 2x a week. The other two days I do walking or might do a bit of swimming or cross training at the gym if the weather is awful. Anyway considering I have been overweight my entire adult life and always hated exercise I felt very proud that I have managed to keep this up. SIL asked me about it as I've lost some weight and so I told her what I'd been doing. She said the exercise I was doing was fairly minimal, didn't really count for anything and that the 30 minutes I do of strength training per session was "nowhere near enough". To be clear I push myself really hard during the 30 minutes, I do this amount of time because I have young DC and a busy job and I just do not have the time for longer sessions. She said "oh well I suppose it's better than nothing but it's the bare minimum really".

I feel totally deflated now tbh.

Well OP you do shit loads compared to me so well done you. Ignore her. She doesn't sound nice. You don't need her opinion to know you are doing well, you're doing great. Don't let her burst your bubble.

She's jealous and doesn't want you to look good.

Keep going, you're doing a really good Job. It's not fucking minimal, it's a really decent amount. Good for you!

What an idiot.

you do way more than I do currently or frankly than I could ever aspire to do! I might do it once but you’ve kept it up so well done and don’t be discouraged.

is she jealous or just not very nice?

Next time just tell her to fuck off. I think you are amazing, you should be proud of yourself. If I knew you I would be so impressed. You are fantastic.

Unless she’s an Olympic coach then her opinion really doesn’t matter.

It seems that she wanted to make you feel low, so don’t fall down it and be proud of your achievements.

She's slim and very attractive herself so I can't see why she would be jealous tbh.

Oooh she’s threatened by you

She can bollock off. It doesn't matter if its a massive session or small bits, it all counts. Good on you!

I have adhd, arthritis & a PT qualification, not a chance you'll find me grinding out big sessions. There's lots of research on this too.

What you meant to say was 'she's mean and very bitchy'.

She definitely sounds jealous.

It's a well known thing that people sabotage change.

She obviously feels that you're threatening her standing as the slim attractive one. It was a bitchy comment. Does she do any exercise herself? Then you probably made her feel bad good.

Keep at it OP, I think you sound bloody amazing.

I lost 5 stone giving up junk food and doing Couch25k three times a week. You’re doing amazing! 👏 Keep it up OP and ignore your SIL. Do it for you 🏃‍♀️

Some people just can’t be happy for
others. Ignore your SIL and keep going. Do not let her get in your head

Nasty cow.
Some people don't like to see others doing well.
What you're doing is obviously working if you've lost weight, so keep it up, well done 👏

Firstly, well done on starting an exercise regime.

Maybe your SIL just hasnt expressed herself well. Was she just talking about the 30 mims of strength training when she said it was "not enough"? Or did she mean all the exercise together wasnt enough? She could mean that the cardio based stuff is less helpful for losing weight than building muscle mass by strengh training?

What a horrible comment for her to make! She's trying to sabotage your hard work. Ignore her and keep up the exercise, you're obviously doing really well.

Some people get their kicks bringing other people down.

And I really don't feel that you're doing anything like the bare minimum - I run 30 minutes 3 times a week and am pretty chuffed with myself.

Wow! That was really bitchy of her. The kind of person who thinks if it's not borderline orthorexia it's worthless?

30min of effective strength training is amazing.... and much more effective than 60min on a treadmill or similar !

I didn't start exercise to lose weight, I did it to get fitter and for my mental health. I find the cardio helpful for my mental health in a way that strength training is not. It just so happens that I have lost weight as a side effect iyswim.

Your SIL is a knob. Well done on all that hard work!

It may be difficult for OP to see that the SIL is in any way threatened by her, but people without a strong sense of their self can sometimes define themselves by the people around them. What other people are or are not and the contrast or similarity.

So if the people around her are overweight then being slim is a key piece of her sense of her self, But if everybody else around her is slim too then that's less tangible and the identity of being ''slim'' is more nebulous. It's probably not even consciously done. Just a vague sense that she's uncomfortable that you're getting fitter. Be determined not to let it under your skin. Good luck!

I'd tell her to f* off quite frankly.

Ignore her and keep up the great work OP.

Yes it really is! I'm a tad chunky but whenever I get into a groove of losing weight and exercising friends and family are encouraging at first then suddenly they start to sabotage you. Just ignore your SIL, the best revenge is to get fitter and to feel good about yourself.