Upset by SIL's comments

[chimayrah]

Hoping for a bit of perspective on this as feel really upset by it. The last few months I've managed to get into what (to me) was a pretty consistent exercise regime of running 3x a week (I did couch to 5k and now hoping to work my way up to a 10k), and strength training in the gym 2x a week. The other two days I do walking or might do a bit of swimming or cross training at the gym if the weather is awful. Anyway considering I have been overweight my entire adult life and always hated exercise I felt very proud that I have managed to keep this up. SIL asked me about it as I've lost some weight and so I told her what I'd been doing. She said the exercise I was doing was fairly minimal, didn't really count for anything and that the 30 minutes I do of strength training per session was "nowhere near enough". To be clear I push myself really hard during the 30 minutes, I do this amount of time because I have young DC and a busy job and I just do not have the time for longer sessions. She said "oh well I suppose it's better than nothing but it's the bare minimum really".

I feel totally deflated now tbh.

This is exactly why she’s jealous OP. You’re committed and succeeding at a goal. Well done you. I love running, don’t need to lose weight but really need to do some strength training and I just can’t commit or seem to find the time. I would love to be doing a half hour here or there! You should be so proud of what you’re achieving. Don’t give SIL another thought.

Does your SIL do a lot of fitness stuff?

My SIL got into it when I was pregnant and now does stupid amounts of exercise, training and events and she looks down her nose at anyone doing less than she does (bear in mind she has practically no responsibilities.- no kids, she and her partner live quite separate lives, not particularly stressful job)

It's very deflating I agree and it's one of the reasons I can't put myself out there because any time I tried anything, DH's entire family would be like "OH but "SIL" has done THIS!" I hope you can be a better person than me and push on through the cruel comments.

This ... your doing amazing OP .. keep going 🙌🙌

I have no idea how much exercise you, me or anyone else should be doing. Does she have a qualification in this area?

Ignore her and stick to your plan! You are doing great......

She sounds v jelous. Ignore her. It sounds to me like you are doing a decent amount tbh but any time I go on a health kick and do exercise its never a great deal but i always think well it is 30mins more than i was doing before etc so really anything is an improvement and is positive

She
Is
A
Bitch!

I agree, it’s clear she’s not envious.

I am not sure what she’s doing, is she trying to push you or does she simply dislike you. The real question is why is your self worth So wrapped up in what she thinks?why is her opinion so golden to you that you feel deflated if she doesn’t give you her Approval?

The thing is, it takes time to lose weight. You are doing great for last few months. And it started to show effect. Carry on. I think she is just jealous and trying to put you off. Don't be discouraged.

Well done OP you’re doing amazing! SIL sounds like a 💩 ignore and bask in your glory… wish I was as active as you!

In my experience it can take a while to 'get' strength training - but once you do it is totally empowering and VERY motivating!

30 minute sessions of strength training are a very appropriate duration, especially if you do it 2-3 times a week. Just make sure that you use 'serious' weights that challenge you.

I started out with 3kg dumbells and worked my way up to 10-15kg. You should aim to do 8-15 reps per set, and the last rep should make you feel "I can't do another one"... Short break and repeat the set at least once or twice.

Have a look at Caroline Girvan on YouTube. She is probably the best online weight trainer around.

Tell her she has a great future as a motivational speaker! 😁

You're doing really well so don’t listen and just carry on as you know its having such a positive effect on the way you feel.

You might think she’s ‘tall blonde and athletic’ OP but she obviously finds you more of a threat than you imagine. She sounds like one of the those sad individuals who can only maintain their own positive self image by trying to keep others firmly in their allocated place.

That’s her insecurity showing if she felt the need to ‘piss on your chips’?

@Velvetween - try Caroline Girvan for weight training......... See my post above. Easy to fit in at home. Sometimes, if I'm busy, I split a 30-40 session over two days. Just make sure you always warm up beforehand.

Keep going OP and well done on your success so far.

Some people are just deeply unpleasant. Sounds like age-old jealousy to me.

This.
Had a 'friend' make comments when I first dropped a fair bit of weight to say that I shouldn't lose any more as I was starting to look 'too thin'. I wasn't - she was used to me bring the fat funny one and she had put a few pounds on herself

Totally agree. Some people have lucky genes and stay slim without effort while they're young. Till they hit the menopause...😱

You are doing the right thing, @chimayrah , and you will reap the benefits. Dont listen to to your rude and stupid SIL!!

... 30-40 MINUTE session...

She’s horrible . She doesn’t want you to succeed. Keep going! And next time just smile at her and don’t say anything !

She sounds like a bitch who's threatened by you.