How the upper middle class live

[LisaJool]

Apologies for yet another class thread but I find this fascinating. Off the back of a thread I started watching a TV series about British aristos and their stately homes. This lead to other YouTube videos and a podcast.
Some observations I made:

1. The women all have great bone structure with the infamous MN UMC swooshy hair.

1. A lot of "sleepless nights" and hand wringing about how they can maintain their homes, which they are "custodians" of. Many have had to do tours/homemade jams/souvenirs to try to bring in extra money. But, their dc go to private schools - surely the first thing you'd do is remove them from that to save money or get rid of the ponies?

1. Re decor, lots of chintz like you'd expect in lovely formal rooms but their kitchens look like something Kim and Aggie need to tackle. Clutter covering all available workspace, books, riding gear, pet bowls etc, lots of knick knacks. Someone on another thread stated that the 'clutter free' movement is a class thing, with it being a LMC to working class thing. Not sure if this is true but interesting all the same.

I don't know anyone who is truly UMC as in old money or landed gentry types. For those who are acquainted, what are they like and how do they live?

Like a good catholic, I'm in full withdrawal mode today with my half-baked opinions, I defer to lived experience. I did receive a lovely letter from Brian Sewell when I wrote to him many years ago about Damien Hirst and a play I wrote about the two with a friend. I was in a social circle with loads of Art students at Camberwell College of Art 30 years ago now that was fun and a great way to waste 3 years (I wasn't there myself I did Microbiology at Surrey in the late 70s).

To be fair I picked it because thought it would be suitably fluffy and enjoyable. Then suddenly anarcho capitalism and its relation to Chicago school steel sky scrapers via the Frankfurts schools fart sniffing etc ad oh god what have I gotten myself into questions in the exams

To make things worse it was a late evening course too. We used to change the clocks to get out early ( I'm sure the tutor knew we were doing it too!)

I did love it though

The best thing was turning up to my poncey art degree and being able to discuss these things with a council estate accent

Do lighten up, History of Arts is a fluffy subject for a future king. Ecole du Louvre, since you ask.

Sounds a lot better than Microbiology and watching the prof dissect a dead rabbit that had been infected with the lurgy. Changing the clocks I like it. We used to have mega lectures with the Biochemists in a 200-seat lecture theatre and the very boring lecturer used an overhead projector with a rolling acetate plastic on which they wrote with marker pens. So a few of us got into the lectures theatre early rolled the acetate on and drew obscene pics and the like and then rolled it back. 30 minutes into the lecture he must have spotted it coming up so his writing got smaller and smaller and tighter together and then with 15 minutes to go he summarily stopped and said he had to leave which he did - then one of our group went down and rolled it on - cue applause and much hilarity. Childish prats that we were!

Art History is a world removed from Media Studies which I don’t believe is a university subject. I suggest you do some research before treating everyone to any opinion, far less a “jaundiced” one.

“rather passe”

Whaaat?

That doesn’t make sense.

welcome to my world... 😁

Neither does “fair dos”. Oh - and you should revise the comma before you start pontificating.

Anyway back on the topic, I've been researching and came up with a 2019 Tatler article on upper-class traits. The following are non-upper-class apparently.No chance of me ever joining the club.

www.tatler.com/article/nancy-mitford-u-and-non-u-language

Non–U
Dietary requirements
The word ‘posh’
Public displays of abstinence
Mouthwash
Most white wine
Being friends with your parents
Facebook
Elaborate gin and tonics
Talking about yourself
Tissues
Jacob Rees-Mogg
British Airways
The South-East
France (except Paris)
Wearing make-up outside London
Dips
Trophy spouses
Windsor
Tinder
Social climbing
iPads
Cryogenic freezing
Supplements
Soho Farmhouse
Air freshener
Cortados
Fruit in plastic
Knowing about yachts
Three-day weddings in Burma
Athleisure wear
Wet wipes
Saying, ‘I’m all right thanks’ when offered a drink

@vera99 any sign of what is UC then?

New-U
Eating bread
Having a job
Drinking at lunch
Pepto-Bismol
Champagne
Loving your parents
Buying newspapers
Eating sweets
Politeness
Xanax
Taking a centrist view
EasyJet
The North
Athens
Having a driver
Turning at a dinner party
Being faithful
Living in central London
Audiobooks
Having a much older best friend
Reading books
Gout
Astrology
SodaStreams
Yorkshire Tea
Fried eggs
Sweden
Knowing about plants
Nicknames
Perudo
Asking questions during a conversation
Saying no

Your use of “ fluffy” speaks volumes about you. Additionally, in case you didn’t grasp it the first time it was mentioned, here is the information again: William switched subjects. 🙄

What is “turning at a dinner party”? Swapping talking between those to your left and right?

An error?! The Tatler is doing well.

Didn't Nicky Haslam also pronounce it non-U to wash your hands after you've been to the lav (note non-use of non-U terminology there)?

No idea, maybe thanking the waiter but Perudo is a dice game from South America.

Perhaps the single greatest indicator of being U is the degree to which you care at all – the truly U would never think themselves to be anything other than entirely correct. For the rest of us, every sphere of life is a potential source of neurosis, particularly now there are no clearly delineated rules. Should you write a thank-you letter after every engagement, or will an email do? Are dress codes really binding? Can you smoke in the street? Is it really all right to put towelling dressing gowns in guests’ bedrooms? Did you even know that mattered?

To me the upper class has lots of silent markers that make it near impossible to break through... The ones I know don't go on holidays like we do, they know someone with a chateau in France for the summer or a chalet for skiing, they don't pay for accommodation.
They are very accomplished at horseback riding , skiing, tennis swimming, hiking all sorts of outdoor pursuits as that was how they grew up. It would blatently obvious as an "arriveste" if you couldn't ski or play tennis as they are normal uc activities..
Wine come by the crateful from a friends vineyard in France...
Children all privately educated, soft skills very important but art, sports & music as as important to the uc as acedemics.

The New-U list is a bit unconvincing. I don’t disagree with some of it, though.

That list is from 2019 pre-covid but you can imagine unflappable UC not being worried by something as pathetic as a virus. "If we go down then so be it, dear."

Oh, does it? Fluffy, fluffy, fluffy, volumes of the fluffy stuff. Sorry about the trigger.
Funny you should mention unintended cues, with your anger and everything.
William switched subjects yes, thank you, I mentioned that. You must have been after @vera99 at the time.

Yes absolutely, as I read your first line I immediately thought 'real estate to start with' haha. Sports, games, culture, travels, knowing the right people; a given.

@Problemoumo the sports & outdoor pursuits are a big part of the umc lifestyle... Enjoying the outdoor pursuits is largely being able to afford good quality kit that will last years eg the mns example of the classic barbour. Skiing (unless you live in a part of the world where there's easy access) is very expensive for most uk families between getting there & lessons etc.. But if one cannot ski (& this is one skill that cannot be faked think Bridgid Jones!) you cannot pass the umc test, the majority of umc kids have been going to ski resorts since they were born!

Oh yes...

Btw I can't ski & never have been, I avoid water as my parents couldn't afford lessons & I can't cycle very well either!
However I am answering the ops question about how the uc live & it all revolves around the seasons!! Winter is ski, early spring also... Summer Norfolk & friends chateau in France... Autumn Norfolk 😁 All very outdoorsy!