What the hell is this?

[Scratchnoitch]

I constantly have scratch marks on my upper back/ neck. They’re deep enough that they last a few days at a time and you can see and feel them.

But, the thing is, I definitely don’t scratch my neck during waking hours or remember ever being itchy there. Why would I be scratching to the point of breaking the skin ONLY in my sleep and also not remembering it? It’s a mystery….any suggestions?

@Scratchnoitch i hereby apologise for flippantly minimising youre concerns.
i love youre artist impression diagram.i hadnt realised the wserious non bison immplications
anti-hystamine?

Could it be your seatbelt leaving marks?

what!! I had NO idea we were meant to use seatbelts in bed. Well that will explain it then I must be bouncing round all over the place

Excellent diagram.

Do you have an allergy to tinsel?

Depending on size of scratches - if not the Gruffalo, could it be the Gruffalos child?

Have you been in a dark dark wood recently?

Have you trimmed your broomstick recently
I find the straw in mine can be quite scratchy

This is a wonderful thread.

I'm going to second the suggestion of sloths - they're very quiet, slow and nocturnal (and have long claws) so assuming the OP gets her eight hours in of a night, that would allow time for a sloth to enter, gently scratch the OP's neck, then exit soundlessly.

As Poirot would say, 'using the little grey cells'.

Is that a euphemism?

I wake up with random scratches sometimes. Once a perfectly straight one round my waist on one side. Mine are definitely done by a very boring ghost.

A gruffalo? What’s a gruffalo?

Is your bed anything like this?

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/293817327798?var=0&mkevt=1&mkcid=1&mkrid=710-53481-19255-0&campid=5338268676&toolid=10044&customid=CjwKCAjwzY2bBhB6EiwAPpUpZuuQPbZEu5TG7qz-0q46LaPF8duywLkMpyV7j_XGuT5DUmNj2ETNABoCqggQAvD_BwE

This thread is bonkers 🤣🤣

Not as exciting as having a bison or someone else's sandpapering husband in your bed, but do you sleep with your hand tucked under your neck? I do, but I don't have any nails to speak of so couldn't scratch myself if I tried, but if you have decent nails you could inadvertently be scratching yourself as you move around.

There’s no such thing @GameOfLifer

Adult scratch mitts are a thing.

You could probably deduce whether the sloth was the two or three toed type depending on the pattern of the scratches. HTH

Loving this thread!

Nailed it

I'm going to second the suggestion of sloths - they're very quiet, slow and nocturnal (and have long claws) so assuming the OP gets her eight hours in of a night, that would allow time for a sloth to enter, gently scratch the OP's neck, then exit soundlessly

I have actually encountered a sloth in real life. Maybe it’s been following me ever since…I do like them.

Do you wear rings? If not then are you role playing scenes from 50 shades?

Adult scratch mitts are a thing

I have zero interest in pornography sorry

OP have you seen The Staircase on Netflix? It could be an owl.

There we go: you have a sloth stalker.

Mystery solved.

(I'm also available for children's parties, weddings and bar mitvahs.)

A Gruffalo is a creature with terrible claws and terrible teeth in his terrible jaws.
He has knobbly knees, and turned-out toes, And a poisonous wart at the end of his nose. His eyes are orange, his tongue is black, he has purple prickles all over his back.

I mean, many of those characteristics could cause scratches so let’s not rule it out just yet.

How do you wear your seat belt? Wrapped around your neck?

😂😂😂