Opinions on teacher's behaviour before I over react...

[Namechangedforthisone287]

I have name changed, but only because I've discussed this IRL with friends so I don't want this linking back to personal medical things I've posted about recently.

DD is 12 and in year 7. This week they are doing tests in all subjects. Clearly, these should be conducted in silence. This afternoon, they have been doing a history test (DD says short test, only 6 questions) and her friend has spoken to her. DD felt she had to reply so as not to be rude. Another friend has then mouthed something to her from across the room, and DD has given her a thumbs up. The teacher has seen all of this, and has taken DD's test paper off her, and said she'll have to redo the test tomorrow in form time, by herself. He has then ripped her test paper up over the bin.

DD says she was humiliated and embarrassed as everyone was looking at her. She cried at the time, and cried when she told me about it.

Now, DD can be a chatterbox and absolutely should have got on with her test and not interacted with her friends. I can understand that it may have looked like she was cheating. But I'm really unhappy with how things were handled by the teacher. Fair enough to take her test and make her re do it, but tearing it up and making a spectacle of DD is a bridge too far in my book.

WWYD? She doesn't want me to make a fuss.

Your DD shouldn't have communicated during the exam, and learning that now is a good thing. I don't think you should say anything or do anything re: the teacher.

That said, ripping the test up over the bin was designed to prove a point to the kids at the expense of your DD's feelings. I hate that kind of thing - completely unnecessary.

I’m a teacher on the verge of quitting due to the constant disrespect and misbehaviour by pupils and the interference by parents. It is literally constant. I can’t take a single breath without someone else shouting across the room, pinging a rubber, insulting someone, muttering something back at me etc. It is relentless. The other day I was getting them to work in silence, not a test but it was the only way for certain children to get any work done as the disruption is just never ending otherwise. It took me literally walking round and round the room hammering down on every noise to get it stopped before it escalated into yet another episode of ‘she did, he said, he just looked at me’ 🙄 A boy asked if he could move to sit next to his friend (for a carry on), I told him no for the 16th time and as I walked away he said ‘fine then, il just get my dad to phone the school’.

I rearrange the seating plan and ask children to move seat and sooo many of them have an attitude and will either refuse or say they’re ‘not allowed’ to sit next to X Y and Z because their mum says so. What is the point in me even going to my work anymore if your mum is running the class from home? This isn’t a case of, someone’s been relentlessly bullying someone and has asked to move after months of it. This is purely just lists of people who ‘haven’t’ to sit beside all these other people and if I move them anywhere I get a phone call that night.

Chances are this teacher was already at breaking point and yet another thing has happened where all children involved were lacking respect for the fact the teacher had given the instruction that it was a test and there was to be no talking or communication/hand signals etc. They have seen this happen and had to bin the test as there is no point marking something if you suspect someone has got an answer from elsewhere, especially if it’s only 6 questions. Yes this maybe has been harsh in this case but your daughter will learn a huge life lesson from this and never chance speaking in a test or exam in future. Your daughter is in the wrong here, not the teacher. Send then a bottle of wine instead and maybe they won’t quit in the next year like the rest of us 🙈

Redoing the test isn’t for a punishment, it’s because I need accurate data. I’d never be happy a teacher created more work for themselves, because it’s pointless.

You keep using the word punish. I haven't used that word. The outcome is the same and this teacher hasn't done any more work than you do; you are saying you'd do the same thing- destroy the old test and make them redo it.

My schools don’t punish either.

I've never even heard of a school with no consequence system at all. Certainly wouldn't happen in the UK public sector. Where/who do you teach?

Scotland. What do you mean by ‘consequence’ if not ‘punishment’?

Kids tend to sway stories so that they are the only person not in the wrong. They also love to exaggerate. I wouldn't do anything. You can't cheat in a test, plain and simple. In our country you can fail the entire year if you're caught talking or looking at someone in just one test. This seems pretty relaxed if you ask me.

Crying seems like an over reaction but girls of that age can cry about all sorts of random crap sometimes. Just don’t make a fuss or she’ll learn to cry more

this. I am a teacher and seen umpteen girls cry on q when a parent is there and they are telling ''their version'' which ime is totally divorced from the reality. It's highly manipulative and even I see adult women do it too when they are in the wrong to manipulate situations.

Well her friends might all feel sorry for her but I bet there will be others who take the piss out of her for crying. Might help her keep quiet next time.

The fact she told you she answered because she didn't want to be rude makes me think she's having you on! She'll have done tests before, she knows you don't talk during them and that it was far ruder to ignore the no talking rule

Tell her back in the day she'd have had a board rubber launched at her head as well 🤣

WWYD. She doesn’t want me to make a fuss.

Hmm, a little gremlin in my head says she doesn’t want you to make a fuss because it could be that the version you have been told isn’t quite the full story. The “ it would be rude not to reply “ excuse stinks for a start…..

Scotland. What do you mean by ‘consequence’ if not ‘punishment’?

A consequence can be anything from a brief chat to a permanent exclusion. It's not wanting to punish in some vindictive way to stop a child harming the education of others. In this case it would be a chat about why being silent in tests is important and then them redoing the test. I they didn't seem to understand what they did was wrong it would be a phonecall to parents too.

I don't believe you've worked in loads of high schools in Scotland which never keep a child back to finish work, remove a disruptive child or indeed exclude a child.

Gosh I'm impressed by the amount of education professionals on here. Presumably the teacher also ripped up the other two tests as well, in order to apply policy fairly and not just appear to be picking on your daughter? According to policy there are three children in the wrong here, so I think you're not being unreasonable as policy was applied inconsistently. Give your daughter a big hug.
As an aside, these tests are normally to make the school look good, they often ignore test results pupils have come through with, mark these first tests quite harshly and then relax the marking in order to meet teacher performance targets as students 'progress' through school.
They are not always for the benefit of the pupil and ironically encourage bad behaviour in the teachers in order to meet their targets. Explain that to your daughter and get her to work in education policy to improve things! All the best, year seven can be very daunting x

Where is it you teach?

And as I've not thought about it in years and just smiled whilst remembering it, I guess it didn't scar me for life

yes most things in our childhoods like this didn't scar us and we forgot about them the next day yet today there is a believe that if you say boo to a child they will be traumatized for life...

Where is it you teach?

North west England. Very tough schools.

Give your daughter a big hug

yes such an appropriate thing to do after your child got caught breaking the rules...

eh no tell her that that's life-you cheat or break the rules you get in trouble. It's the same for us all, let her cry.

What the hell have you been smoking? 🤦🏻‍♀️

I think this must be a Troll post as no parent is surely that stupid?

Your daughter broke the rules of conduct during a test and invalidated her paper which was subsequently destroyed. Sounds pretty reasonable to me. She's lucky she gets to retake it and doesn't get a 0 mark, which would have happened in a public exam.

You are angry at the wrong person.

How tough? Does punishment work?

This seems the wrong way round to me. I would have thought they would both have had their papers cancelled - but in any case if the person hadn't asked the question in the first place there would have been no problem.

Still, what do I know?

yes such an appropriate thing to do after your child got caught breaking the rules...

In fairness, the kids was crying. You can be lovign and supportive and still give the kid the right message.

But yeah- the bit about the child having to talk mum out of contacting the school to complain isn't good.

Teacher is doing their job, hopefully you DD learns a lesson.

The cold hard reality is that when they start secondary they are told about the rules and the consequences for breaking them. This includes being told not to talk whilst sitting a test.

In primary you break the rules and you miss 5 minutes of your break. In secondary you break those same rules and you get a negative mark in your planner, get enough and you get a detention. This can then escalate to isolation. Children are often shocked at how hard and fast secondary schools come down on misbehaviour. This almost always includes coming to school in the wrong shoes.

She talked in a test. She was punished.

How does moving her away help the situation? All it does is make whatever poor child who was behaving suffer and be distracted by the behaviour of the chatty child. Bane of my fucking life was teachers who thought this the best way to deal with this sort of behaviour. In reality the 'chatty' children still find a way to be irritating wherever they were sat. She was gesturing to a friend across the room, perhaps you could put her in a cupboard?!

Realistically we have no idea how many times she and her friends were told to be quiet or reminded not to cheat. Shes embarrassed because she was caught behaving badly, not because she's been traumatised.

You are obviously not a teacher, or you'd know exactly what I'm talking about. 😂

BCxx👏

To OP: your daughter has learnt, the kids can't be mollycoddle at school - they'll run a riot. If it keeps on happening then act but definitely let this one go. Nothing happened.

Why don't children listen to their teachers anymore rather than try to cheek them or misbehave

kids did misbehave though in the past, it's deluded to think they didn't. I saw awful behaviour in the 90s at school.

And then we have the mum trying to make excuses for her DD and letting her off

but i think alot less of this happened back in the day. Parents supported the school more and generally kept their beaks out.